My mom is sure i'll be divorced and she reminds me everyday and it's very upsetting to not have the support of your mother. She said people who get married at 24 never last, it's just too young... It doesn't matter that we will have had 5 years of happy courting before our wedding.
FH's mom is not interested in our wedding at all because his sister is getting married next summer and thats her daughter. All she wants to talk about is HER wedding. When I talk about my wedding she will nicely say 'I really have no say in it because im not paying for it' When I asked her if FSIL would do a thursday wedding she said 'Oh she doesn't want to inconvience people'...implying that we are inconviencing people.
I just wish things were a little more lifetime movie-ish is all
I donno, my dad is happy and loves FH. My siblings are happy too.
bluegreen08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
FWIW, DH and I are both 24 and have been together 6 years. I was really expecting to get some 'OMG you're so young!!' comments from people but we didn't get any.
Don't let them get you down -- focus on the people who are happy for you. FM if you want to chat more
grrulz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
listen!!!! I am sorry about your mom's opinion i think is really hurtful and not necessary. I really can't comment on that too much because it might be too touchy and I don't want to make things worse. All you need to remember is that your mom is your mom no matter what. Maybe she's just too scared that you will fail in marriage. She's sacred for her 'little girl' because she still sees you as a little girl. I think it is very difficult for parents to let their children go. Some of then think of 'they are loosing their children'. In terms of your FMIL i feel that you shouldn't feel to bad of what she said yea she's messed up for saying that and she has no right to rub the fact that she's not paying for the wedding, but I am pretty sure that as soon as her daughter marries she will have more time for you. Just let her know that her input counts too. Some MIL's feel that their daughter in laws don't care too much about their opinion. This happened to my FMIL when FH's brother married his wife didn't take any of my FMIL's input and this made her feel soo bad. She completely threw her off the planning and she paid for most of this wedding. Things like these happen but don't worry you have us!!!! hope you feel better sweetie I think this week has been very tough for you
T E R I
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
Soo sorry that you are going through this with both your mother and FMIL. That is soo wrong of your mom to say that, there is no perfect age that people should get married at and guarantee that the marriage will last.
I know that it would be soo much better if you had the support of your mother and your FMIL, but As long as you and your FH love each other and feel that you are ready to get married that is all that counts
RitasEngaged
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
I feel so bad for you!!! I will be 24 when me and FH get married - I don't think that is young at all!! All that matters is is that you two love each other don't worry about what anyone else thinks
Just remember it is you and him
I just feel so bad for you that you are so sad all the time but just want to let you knwo that i am happy for you and if you ever want to talk you can fm me.
soontoobemrsk
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
thats so horrible that your mother said that! but i tend to agree with gloria...i think she hopes the best for you but is just tentative and worried. in terms of fmil, she is probably just very busy right now with her own daughters wedding. once that is over, try bringing up the wedding to her again. she just may have a different response. if she doesnt, sit her down and tell her that you really do value her opinion and would love for her to be involved in the planning, reguardless of whether she is contributing monetarily or not. if you dont feel comfortable doing this, ask fh if he would talk to her for you. as far as the thursday wedding, i dont think its inconveniencing people. if they feel inconvenienced, then they have every right to not come. as far as the 24 thing, im 20 and i get it all the time 'youre too young blahh blahh blahh'. just ignore it. if you know youre in love with him and will be with him forever, then go with your feelings. people dont know how you feel. and people are mean. so just ignore them. we're here for you honey!
FallBride2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
I'm sorry your mom isnt being supportive. I'm sure it's making things a bit harder for you right now. But dont let her spoil the planning fun...or even remotely upset you. I know that's easier said than done...but just remember how much you love FH and how sure you are that he is the one. I really feel for you. FH's Dad is sooo not supportive of our wedding and is doing anything he can to show us he doesnt support it. It upsets me...but i am trying to take evryone's advice and just ignore it. Good luck trying to do the same thing!! 24 isnt too young...especially of you have so much history with this person. It's not like you are rushing into a wedding after 2 months of dating!!!
mosh424
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
I am sorry that your mom isn't supportive. I really think you need to sit her down and tell her that she is ruining the happiest time of your life and if she doesn't have anything nice to say then she shouldn't talk to you about the wedding at all. I know she is your mother but you need to block her out as much as possible. and you are def. not to young to be getting married! That ios a bunch of bull.
Good Luck with everything
JenBill61210
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
I understand what you are going through because my mom is the same way, she thinks i am not ready to get married even though i will be 26 at the time of my wedding. She is not interested or involved in planning at all, but i have this site to talk with people and i go to my sister as well for advice. As far as your FMIL, if she thinks its such a big 'inconvenience' then she doesn't have to go! (well that would be my mentality anyway!).
kater08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
I'm sorry you're going through this...I don't know you well yet, but you are very nice and you speak very highly of FH...you both have great careers, you're being responsible and paying for this wedding yourself!!
Are you the first/last child to get married?? Maybe your mom is having a hard time letting go??
You are young...yes...but that doesn't mean you're going to make a foolish decision. Only you and FH know what's right for you, and if you know if your head and heart that this is right...then it is!!
christine2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
that is so sad. i'm sorry you have to deal with this. i have learned that you yourself is the best judge of what is right for you. maybe you should talk to your mom & see if she has any valid points of why she feels thing wont work out.
Mrs Z To Be
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
First, Second, I've noticed as I've gotten older (almost 29), women, especially, when they are unhappy with themselves, and their lives, they tend to project that onto others....i.e., their daughters, FDIL's etc. Just remember, as hard as it is, it;s YOUR day......don't let it get you down!
kater08
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
Posted by Mrs Z To Be
First, Second, I've noticed as I've gotten older (almost 29), women, especially, when they are unhappy with themselves, and their lives, they tend to project that onto others....i.e., their daughters, FDIL's etc. Just remember, as hard as it is, it;s YOUR day......don't let it get you down!
Another old lady like me!!!!
MrsL2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Just a sad vent.
Posted by kater08
Posted by Mrs Z To Be
First, Second, I've noticed as I've gotten older (almost 29), women, especially, when they are unhappy with themselves, and their lives, they tend to project that onto others....i.e., their daughters, FDIL's etc. Just remember, as hard as it is, it;s YOUR day......don't let it get you down!
