Just a small vent

divabride Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:12 PM

Just a small vent

It really is true that you find out who your true friends are when you plan a wedding. The only one that seems to be looking out for me is my sister who lives in florida. Its hard to share stuff with her since she's so far away. It just saddens me that I dont have any 'girlfriends' to share this time of my life with me. All my 'friends' are single and couldnt care less about my planning. Just sad, that's all.

OK, vent over!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:13 PM

Re: Just a small vent

I went through the EXACT same thing!!!

It was so bad that I don't even speak to one of my bridesmaids anymore and made me look at the other in a whole new light

Sep05bride Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:14 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Well you got us! VENT AWAY!

csorisi Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Just a small vent

I think it is true that you really find out who your friends are--I was friends with a girl since gradeschool & I asked to be in my BP--right before we were suppose to get the dresses she told me that our friendship was making her uphappy & unhealthy and that all I talked about was the wedding---hello--this is suppose to be the most happy & exciting time in my life & if you can't share that with me you aren't a friend. Needless to say we haven't spoken in 2 months & honestly I think I am a happier & healthier person we just weren't on the same page. Just remeber we are always here to listen & share in your happiness!!!

lilacwine Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Most of my friends are married and have small kids, so they're all beyond wedding planning. Many of my BPs husbands aren't coming to the RD or the church.

Just think, you've got loads of girlfriends here on LIW who care about your planning!

divabride Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:18 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Thanks guys. My sister ended up having to change the bachelorette party date. The new date ended up falling on the weekend of my MOH's birthday. I told my sister that was going to cause a problem, but sis said not to worry. As you guessed MOH said she plans to sky dive that day, so I would have to do without her. I understand its her birthday, but how many birthdays is she going to have compared to my ONE bachelorette party. I know Im being selfish, but I wouldnt have given it a second thought to give up my birthday for her.

jesslangen Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:19 PM

Re: Just a small vent

I dont remember what hapened, but when I first started I was complaining to my sister (MOH) about how the BP was giving me a hard time/ I said, 'You know, these girls are supposed to make my day easier!'. My sister responded 'Dont rely on that, they will actually make it more difficult!'

BOY what she right!

lilacwine Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:20 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Posted by jesslangen

I dont remember what hapened, but when I first started I was complaining to my sister (MOH) about how the BP was giving me a hard time/ I said, 'You know, these girls are supposed to make my day easier!'. My sister responded 'Dont rely on that, they will actually make it more difficult!'

BOY what she right!

diamondgrlie Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:20 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Well we all love you here!

hbradio Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Oh yes unfortunately this is completely true. I definitely found out who my true friends are. On a semi-related note another way I found this out is by who is coming to the wedding. I have a few OOT friends who are not making it to the wedding but I of course travelled to theirs. It makes me realize who is really important. The friends who are traveling from near and far and wont let anything stop them from attending.

LadyPrincess Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:24 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Weddings & funerals brings out the TRUE in people. No worries Diva -you have us lady

David'sbride Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:25 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Posted by divabride

It really is true that you find out who your true friends are when you plan a wedding. The only one that seems to be looking out for me is my sister who lives in florida. Its hard to share stuff with her since she's so far away. It just saddens me that I dont have any 'girlfriends' to share this time of my life with me. All my 'friends' are single and couldnt care less about my planning. Just sad, that's all.

OK, vent over!

I couldn't agree more. I'm in my mid thirties and have learned this over the last several years way before I ever met FH. Now I'm learning it about my extended family (cousins) who I grew up with (saw every weekend) but have yet to even acknowlege our engagement with a card.

Yes, your friends will change over the years. I lost one friend when my Dad had a stroke (didn't call me for 6 weeks), one through divorce and a few more I rarely talk to because they are very busy working full time and taking care of their kids.

Wait until everyone starts having kids, people will drift away.

This is why I'm only having my MOH in my bridal party. Going on 21 years as best friends (we met in high school).

simbacat Posted: Apr 25, 2005 03:26 PM

Re: Just a small vent

This is partly one of the reasons why I am not having a BP and I chose my Aunt to be my MOH. I just knew for a fact that my b-friend of 18 years would've let me down and we probably wouldn't be friends anymore. Unfortunately, there are very few friends that enjoy your happy times. I've learned that some friends actually feel happy inside when things aren't going good for you. It makes them feel better about themselves. It's pretty sad if you think about it, but it's so true So don't worry, just vent to us, we'll be more than happy to listen to you

SFP0214 Posted: Apr 25, 2005 04:40 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Posted by csorisi

I think it is true that you really find out who your friends are--I was friends with a girl since gradeschool & I asked to be in my BP--right before we were suppose to get the dresses she told me that our friendship was making her uphappy & unhealthy and that all I talked about was the wedding---hello--this is suppose to be the most happy & exciting time in my life & if you can't share that with me you aren't a friend. Needless to say we haven't spoken in 2 months & honestly I think I am a happier & healthier person we just weren't on the same page. Just remeber we are always here to listen & share in your happiness!!!

Ouch.. I heard this story. Sorry. But you dont need her telling you these things. She needs to grow up.

DMcK Posted: Apr 25, 2005 04:40 PM

Re: Just a small vent

SFP0214 Posted: Apr 25, 2005 04:41 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Posted by divabride

Thanks guys. My sister ended up having to change the bachelorette party date. The new date ended up falling on the weekend of my MOH's birthday. I told my sister that was going to cause a problem, but sis said not to worry. As you guessed MOH said she plans to sky dive that day, so I would have to do without her. I understand its her birthday, but how many birthdays is she going to have compared to my ONE bachelorette party. I know Im being selfish, but I wouldnt have given it a second thought to give up my birthday for her.

I am sorry hun. That *****.. seriously. It is not her 21st birthday. Priorities people.

cjik Posted: Apr 25, 2005 06:25 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Yeah, I understand. It's good that your sister has listened and offered help to the best of her ability.

Some of my friends have been great, and others, no. One friend just got divorced last year, so I try to keep wedding chatter to a minimum with her, but it still comes up at times, and she's really not very interested.

I'm not sure this means some people aren't your true friends, they just can't relate to your life experience now, unfortunately. The same happens when friends start having kids--that makes it even tougher.

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Apr 25, 2005 07:11 PM

Re: Just a small vent

Diva, I totally understand! I know it's kind of lonely, (my brother and sister are moving soon) but think about it like this- LIW gals make the BEST honorary bridesmaids.