just curious

For those of you who dont want to change your name .. why not?

((I know ive seen reasons like, buisness , your like your name))

& how do your fh's feel when you told them no.. i jk with my fh all the time that he has to take my name- new traditon

A lot of reasons

I think it's an archaic misogynistic practice. When I was younger I was actually SURE that by the time I grew up no one would be doing it anymore.

My name is my identity. I'm not becoming a new person or someone else's property

Professional, etc

But as you can see in my earlier post, I am conflicted and considering hyphenating

I still havent changed my name. I LOVE my name and its hard for me to let it go. I also havent changed it because I know the whole process of changing EVERYTHING (down to the last credit card, check book, etc) will be a pain in the a$$ and I dont feel like dealing with it.

woops.

Professionally I don't want to change it, but like I've told FH the sooner the better because the longer I go the harder it will be.

I don't get so mad over the idea as a feminist stance, because I'm not really like that. I don't mind the idea of having his last name, but FH and have already combined some bank accounts, and everything that was originally only MINE now has HIM as the primary (the banks did it automatically we didn't request it). So when I had to change some things they had his social and phone number down and I was LIVID. I threw a fit and said I'm not being 2nd in everything for the rest of my life. I've settled down now but every since that happened I've been considering not changing it.

---

Posted by HSsweethearts

My name is my identity. I'm not becoming a new person or someone else's property

---

THIS
i feel that it is an old tradition that does not need to be followed anymore. Ladies now have their own careers and life and are not identified by their husband or marital status. People actually call me by my last name and use it as a nickname. My parents only had girls and therefore I will be the last one to have the name and I want to have it my entire life since it will no longer get carried on. I want to be linked to my family as they are my histroy and made me the person I am today.
I also hate Fh's last name...it often gets confused with rape when you say it on the phone and so you are stuck spelling it.

---

Posted by MrsJPH2012

Professionally I don't want to change it, but like I've told FH the sooner the better because the longer I go the harder it will be.

I don't get so mad over the idea as a feminist stance, because I'm not really like that. I don't mind the idea of having his last name, but FH and have already combined some bank accounts, and everything that was originally only MINE now has HIM as the primary (the banks did it automatically we didn't request it). So when I had to change some things they had his social and phone number down and I was LIVID. I threw a fit and said I'm not being 2nd in everything for the rest of my life. I've settled down now but every since that happened I've been considering not changing it.

---

thats krazy, im suprised they would do it.. i am the primary on ours .. he keeps saying you could have acts in other countries i have no idea what you do with my $$

.. ive honestly havent heard of some of these pts you girls make before this site. Its really interesting. I personally dont think changing my name will change who i am and dont think im becoming a new person. If anythign id like to change my first name lol but have no ideaaa what it would be either

I am really set against changing my name well, because, its my NAME. I've had it for 30 years and I like it. I am not a feminist either, and I don't mind being someone's wife. It just really bothers me.

But apparently it bothers FH way more that I don't want to take his, because we had a conversation about it and he came flat out and said that not changing my name was a deal breaker for him. So since it means so much to him, I am going to suck it up, but see if I can get away with keeping it professionally.

I do love my last name, but the other reason is I hate FH's last name. His family made it up so it wouldn't sound too arabic. I don't want to be put through the embarrassment or our kids just because of some fake last name.

So FH is changing his last name to mine so that we can be a family.

---

Posted by Chanwich



But apparently it bothers FH way more that I don't want to take his, because we had a conversation about it and he came flat out and said that not changing my name was a deal breaker for him. So since it means so much to him, I am going to suck it up, but see if I can get away with keeping it professionally.

---

This is what happend with us too. I was going to keep it for work purposes but I figured might as well change it all. The main reason that confirmed my decision was that I did not want to have a different last name as my future children and I did not want to hyphenate their names either.