I am hoping people will tell me this is normal. I rarely fight with my dad, but he caught me at a bad time (after bombing a final exam) to tell me he has some people he is going to NEED to add to our guest list. Yes, he is paying for 1/2 the reception, but FH and I are still footing a very large bill.
It's fine he wants to invite people, but I just want him to tell me how many, and who! I asked numerous times if I had everyone on my list, and he said yes. But now he's found more.
He keeps telling me it won't be a lot and I probably have most of the people on my list already, but it is like pulling teeth. I just want an idea!
Did anyone else have the problem with parents wanting to invite more people than you originally planned for?
regina2
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
My father keeps calling and say 'I forgot about so and so...' He wants me to invite people that I have only met twice in my entire life...
He wanted me to invite an aunt of mine, who I've only met twice in my adult life. She divorsed my uncle (who has since died) when I was like 6, and I saw her for the first time in years last year at my cousins baby shower. I went up to her an introduced myself...I had no idea who she was.
He also wants me to invite three cousins and their wife (they live in Fl) and I have only met them twice (ever). I hate even talking about this with him, because he keeps coming up with people that I dont know very well and who he hasnt talked to in years. Suddenly they are his best friends and wants to invite them...my room only holds 150.
My mother comes from a large family, who I actually know...so I have to invite them.
So I cant totally relate, plus like you I am paying for 1/2. I know he deserves to invite people, but we (FI and I) wanted the wedding to be small and family and friends. I didnt want to invite people who I didnt know and he keeps bringing up names of people that I havent seen in years. Plus, I didnt see an invitation to their weddings or kids wedding.
Can you tell that this topic gets me angry....
rosebud
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
I hear you Regina. You sound just like me. I mean my dad is not going overboard with the #, but my parents are divorced, therefor the list gets larger with the extended families.
It is just very frustrating, and I feel like I just have to sit back and say, ok, ok, ok b/c he is helping.
Grrrrr - glad to see I'm not the only person who is affected by this...
Mandy77
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
I'm in the exact same situation. I didn't want to go into my wedding have people there that I didn't even know!!! He is also paying for 1/2 and we are paying the rest....his guest list gets bigger by the hour.
I think if it gets too out of control, you should at least ask him for more money for those extra people because you weren't counting on them from the beginning!
MrsTC
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
Yes. My parents are doing the exact same thing to me. They MUST have this person and MUST have this one......they gave us $ too but we are paying for the bulk of it. If it comes down to it and you guys can't afford it, they will have to chip in extra! Stand your ground!
rosebud
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
Glad to see there are more people here with this situation. I was beginning to think I was nuts, or just plain old bratty, which I'm not!
My 'philosophy' is that I do not want to invite anyone whom I don't feel close to. I am also friends with many of my parents friends, therefor they are invited. I feel like the list has to stop at some point, and that is where we feel comfortable drawing the line.
It's just irritating, and my wedding is still 1 year away. Nothing has been stressful about this planning process up until this point. I don't want to argue with my dad over this, but I do feel I need to stand my ground.
AND, with the whole **** divorced parents, it's like, 'Well, who is your mom having there???'
Grrrr....thanks for listening to me VENT!!!
butterfly20
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
my mom keeps trying to take people OFF the list... she starts saying her friends are cheap and which ones i dont have to invite..( she doesnt understand I have a 100minimum to fullfill)
butterfly20
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
you can always tell him that you cant afford to add much more people.. then hopefully he will pay you for the extras...
regina2
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
Now my FI is making me angry...I've been asking him since November for his invite list and all I got was complaints. So finally in April, I told him I need his list...Which he gave me and told me that he may add a few name. It is now June and he has not given me any other names and has not provided addresses for those he has given me.
So last night I was going over Guest List and realized we are way over..and he says he still may have a few names. Hello..when are you going to give me these names and addresses???
And then he as the nerve to say that he isnt going to do anything more for this wedding!! Well, guess what buddy..you haven't done a **** thing since we got engaged. And the few things you have helped with was not with out major *****ing and moaning.
I'm so sick of this entire thing. All I want to do is throw a list of things to do at him and tell him if he wants a wedding then he can complete all the items on the list!!! So annoyed!!!
hugs213
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
My mom invited our dentist...nuff said.
OctBride05
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
my mil is doing this to me. she has to have all her family, most of them i never met, so i have to do without some of my friends.
MayDay16
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
Unfortunately, when you are paying for the wedding, you must treat it like a business. My MIL & FIL wanted to invite the entire world and didn't give me a dime! I told them, no way! Their guest lists cost me $10,000! I broke down each list and told each parent how much it all cost. When they saw how much it all cost, they either handed over the $$$ or uninvited the guest.
Don't forget to add the favor cost, the centerpiece, don't forget tax and tip! When they see the real number they back down. Good luck and try it!
butterfly20
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
mayday16 has a good point... the per guest cost is the reception cost, plus favor, plus portion of centerpiece.. you should break down the list and tell them for what theyre paying how many guests they can invite..
pschica
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
my parents have now gotten to the point of swapping people for others (ie - instead of vick and her husband lets invite jane and johhny!) - they are too funny but it can be frustrating!!
jess2504
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Re: Just had an arguement with my Dad =( VENTING!
I know what you mean rosebud.... my parents invited many friends and family that I had never met in my life... I know I felt lost in my engagement party and probably will at my wedding too!
