Just my opinion on tipping...

There are lots of posts on tipping on the board, and I'd just like to give my opinion. Keep in mind, it's my opinion (although the consultants I've checked with seem to agree)

We're paying for our own wedding and we're on a limited budget so I know where everyone's coming from.

Everyone of the vendors out there demands high prices, I know, and we're having a hard time covering costs. But, keep in mind that that great sax player only gets a portion of what you're paying, most of it goes to someone else. We could also have forgone the expensive hair stylist or some other thing in order to be able to cover the gratuity expense, we know it's there.

Those who own their own businesses have so many hidden costs too, and with a recession they are hurting like everyone else...most of them only book a few jobs at a time and put plenty of hours in consulting with you, prepping for your party, and they all spend time practicing, training, travelling, don't forget paying all those small business associated fees including membership dues, and corresponding. They have ad fees, insurance fees, equipment fees, attire to to pay for. And, they can demand high prices because they are good (don't tip if they aren't of course).

Considering the costs we're willing to invest, it seems only right to me to tip generously. When these guys see the filet mignon on the plates and the $$$ on everything else, I'm sure they won't feel that you can't afford it.

I'd rather end this special day getting a smile and a congratulations from my vendors, rather than the cold shoulder (which I might get if I didn't tip them, and in my opinion I'd deserve it).

I chose my vendors because they're good, or they're nice or some combination of the two. I don't resent that little extra that I'll give them (although it will hurt:( the bank account)-I consider it thanks for the work that they do to make all of us have the weddings we want.

KEEP IN MIND that some of these vendors (esp. your photographer) you will be in contact with in the future and you will be relying on their service...Others you may want to use again, and want good service again as well. If you didn't tip and they did a good job, they will remember.

One thing I've learned in life, tip well and you will be rewarded in the end.

I agree wholeheartedly. While it seems like a crazy extra expense...it's necessary.

The tipping especially holds true for band members...especially when they use a booking agent. The agent takes a whole hell of a lot of what that band charges, and the pay is usually done on a sliding scale...new members get the least.

Good Advice
Thanks

I'll have to disagree with you on the tipping. While I find it inevitable to have to tip, I believe that the price of their work is already high enough. And while I will be tipping on my special day, I wont' be tipping generously, unless the vendor has gone above and beyond their responsibilities. Otherwise, I'll be tipping the minimum acceptable.

Most of my vendors work for themselves (except the hall), so I find it silly to have to tip them, if they're already making $ off of me for the wedding.

And few of them actually spend time discussing things with me, especially the MC.

Great advice and I agree with you 100%. The only thing that I can't figure out is how much for each vendor.

Karen,
I'll FM you once I meet with the coordinator I'm considering hiring. I'm going to ask that question. I'm meeting with Annette Babich, who is highly regarded and has been in the business a long time, so she should be able to give me a good answer.
I'll let you know.

I agree with you 100% We tipped our people very well. My limo driver told me that the service charge included is really their pay- not a tip... so we also tipped him a little extra since they were so nice.

Thank you very much julybride : ).

I agree with tipping yes, if they deserve it, BUT on this point

'I'd rather end this special day getting a smile and a congratulations from my vendors, rather than the cold shoulder (which I would expect if I didn't tip them, and in my opinion I'd deserve it).'

ABSOLUTELY NOT!! there is no reason that you should get a cold shoulder from any of your vendors for NOT tipping.. it's supposed to be a gift, reward for good word, not expected!

I've posted before too, I agree w/ Alina.
Although I will tip my vendors, MD, etc...
-I do not have a band. I agree 100% for a band

However, most of my vendors are self-employeed and their prices are sky high. I feel as if I'm already 'tipping' them in the cost. I feel they should do the same job, same quality regardless if they think they're getting a tip, or if they actually receive a tip or not. I have not heard from 1 vendor since I booked with them. I do not feel like I'm getting any other 'attention' than any other bride to be. I do not feel that they are spending hours on end on my date. The time they will be spending, I'm already paying for. The limo driver's already been paid upfront- 20% too....
So, I will tip (generously) those who are not self-employed and do a great job on my day

Don't forget many of our contracts actually say - meals and gratuties (then it changes from vendor to vendor) requested, appreciated, expected...

I think many of us don't have a problem with tipping something - it is just that I think no one really knows HOW much to tip. We all know when you do certain things - it is minimum of 15% for this or that, 20% for this, 1-2 dollars for this or that - but with weddings there doesn't seem to be an industry standard. -

Just think though if we were asked to tip 20% for our photographers - I mean 10% of most of our photography contracts would leave us tipping 200-600$ + paying for meals.

I agree I don't necessarily think that 25$ for the day is much as all - but should we tip 150-300$ a vendor when our reception hall has us pay full price for our vendors so we are already paying 150-200$ for their meal?

Where do we draw theline?

First, no hall should charge full price for a vendor meal, do they really do that? The vendors aren't drinking, eating dessert or cocktails, it seems crazy.

If they do, it's not the vendors fault and they shouldn't be penalized IMO.

I'm interviewing reputable coordinators/consultants next week, I'll ask what the standard is...I think it's 2-3 pp for the maitre'd and 10% for outside vendors...I'm not sure for bridal attendant and in-house coordinator.

OK but even so - if you pay - 50% of the per person rate - that can be 75-100$ a vendor still - when you add the 8 piece band, the photographers and assistants, the videographers etc that can really add up -

I am not saying that they should be penalized for that but it is just something to remember

Oh FYI - FH and I used to work in restaurants so we are BIG tippers - but I know people in photography who LAUGH at us an our naiviety in the tips that we give some of these people. So that is also something to keep in mind

Please share the info you get that would be greatly appreciated.

As far as the matre de etc those are pretty established amounts - and you don't feed those people remember.

Julybride- I think someone did ask the ? on the vendor boards once. Most of them did say (although, I don't think they'd say, yes, tip us!) that- they're the owners, so they don't expect any additional monies.
Please do let us know what you learn from your coordinator meetings