just offered a baby

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 29, 2004 03:57 PM

just offered a baby

Our social worker just called me and offered usa baby..he is due to be born any day now, here in NJ. I said no, I just cant do it..Im just sad though. I have my boys, Im already in love with them, I kiss their pictures every day, I watch their video everyday..in my eyes, they are my boys, although they dont even know I exist yet..but I feel so sad for this little boy who is about to be born. There are so many children who need homes..its so damn sad. just needed to vent..thanks

tourist Posted: Dec 29, 2004 04:02 PM

Re: just offered a baby

aww., that's so sweet--you just want to adopt them all! Don't worry, this baby will find a home. I think it is easier for babies.

Jax430 Posted: Dec 29, 2004 04:03 PM

Re: just offered a baby

It must be so hard to turn away a baby in need of a home. Just remember that there are so many people looking to adopt little babies...a loving home will be found for this little guy.

FeliciaDA Posted: Dec 29, 2004 04:07 PM

Re: just offered a baby

Your heart is so big, Alicia! I know its hard to turn away any child in need, but as the other girls said I think a newborn is a lot easier to place than older children. I'm sure this little one will find himself in a loving home , just like your boys will be!

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 29, 2004 04:10 PM

Re: just offered a baby

thanks..you are probably right, she said she only called us 'just in case'..its just so sad. the mom doesnt know yet that the original family didnt work out, she doesnt know that her baby no longer has a family...its just so sad..shes right here in NJ. Hes an African american baby...I wish I knew someone who was homestudy approved..they could have a child any day now!

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 29, 2004 04:14 PM

Re: just offered a baby

I think what Im afriad of since this baby is about to be born and there are no immediate homestudy approved families to adopt him, the state will get him and thats not good.

skew Posted: Dec 29, 2004 05:44 PM

Re: just offered a baby

Posted by aliciahelene

I think what Im afriad of since this baby is about to be born and there are no immediate homestudy approved families to adopt him, the state will get him and thats not good.

maybe i missed something in an earlier post, but why do the parents have to be homestudy approved?

nferrandi Posted: Dec 29, 2004 05:55 PM

Re: just offered a baby

There's a process you must got through in order to adopt. Homestudy is just a part of it, and it tends to be further along in the process.
Alicia, don't worry about this baby, I'm sure there's another couple just waiting to get that call that they'll have a son any day.

2003fallwedding Posted: Dec 29, 2004 06:25 PM

Re: just offered a baby

Alicia, you and your husband are amazing!! A few months ago you were frantic that you would not have children and now you are adopting 2 little boys and were just offerred another one. I hope he finds a home

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 29, 2004 07:58 PM

Re: just offered a baby

Thanks..I hope this baby finds a home. The family has to be home study approved because its just part of the crazy stressful process..you just have to get fingerprinted, background checks, etc..a social worker has to approve you..we already went through that, finsihed it last month..it really wasnt bad..we have a great social worker..so that helped alot. I just feel sad. I know I have to go with my gut, and thats my boys in Ethiopia, but then of course I wonder am I crazy? This baby is right here, hes much less expensive and hed be ours in a few days...but I want my little men in Ethiopia. I have PMS too, so Im sure thats to conrtibuting to why Im feeling like crap. I used to read about people who were adopting, who received referrals on children and they turned them down and felt so bad about it..now I know how they felt I think. I feel bad saying 'no'..I think thats my problem. Im going to have myself a nice glass of wine and relax. Thanks for listening.

Jess2 Posted: Dec 30, 2004 08:24 AM

Re: just offered a baby

I agree with the girls that I think this baby will hopefully find a wonderful home. It sounds to me as if these boys are meant to be yours. When you know, you know! They are going to be very lucky to have you and Dex for parents!

kelly4 Posted: Dec 30, 2004 09:13 AM

Re: just offered a baby

your love and warmth keep growing! You and Dex are such special people! All my best!

didianita Posted: Dec 30, 2004 09:58 AM

Re: just offered a baby

Don't worry Alicia, you are already doing a good thing!

endlessluv429 Posted: Dec 30, 2004 01:28 PM

Re: just offered a baby

Posted by didianita

Don't worry Alicia, you are already doing a good thing!

I totally agree. I totally understand your point of view alicia but unfortuntely you can't single handedly save the world!

SeptemberBride03 Posted: Dec 30, 2004 01:42 PM

Re: just offered a baby

I can understand you feeling bad saying no, but as others on here said - its easier for babies to find homes. I think most people prefer to adopt babies. You are doing a wonderful thing adopting two boys that are in such need of love and care!

aliciahelene Posted: Dec 30, 2004 02:17 PM

Re: just offered a baby

Thanks..I know I cant save the world..its just a bad feeling saying no to a baby who needs a home. But you are all right, babies place much easier. Thanks for letting me vent!

IrishTracy Posted: Dec 31, 2004 11:31 AM

Re: just offered a baby

I totally understand. My cousin adopted her daughter in China & her brother went w/ them to watch over her 2 boys while they were getting their daughter. He refused to go to the orphanage because he said he'd come home with 10 children.

You are doing a great thing remember that. And as cruel as it sounds a baby will be adopted much more quickly then 2 older children. Your giving 2 older boys the chance of happiness. Not many people offer to do that.

Play the lotto tonight if you win the baby is yours!