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Just something.......

LiBride23 Posted:

Just something.......

i am going to keep it real.. Cause thats how i am and how i have been on here........

Ok... My Fh has a problem wit me because my Sexual drive is dead.... lol.. He wants it all the time and i do not.. Back wehn we were 16 it was ok. now it is like sex is not my main concern. so i made a deal every other day.. Thats reasonable right?

So.... we fight about it all the time. Like in the begining when we first got back together in 07' I wanted to have a baby, then my mind changed. Now he neva wants to use condoms so i do not do it i fight 2 get out of this.

i think i am more scared of getting prego before my wedding, and looking like a cow. I fear that. (sorry to all the prego brides)

Am i wrong? he just does not understand..... what do i do?



AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: Just something.......

I totally understand that lack or loosing of a sex drive. I do on and off, here and there.

I think just with the stress of wedding planning and everything else going on in our lives sex sometimes takes a mental back seat. Guys.. of course are guys.

Re: you not wanting to be preggo before ur wedding that's totally understandable. I would FLIP OUT if that happened and my fam would too lol. He needs to understand that you are not ready to have a child at this exact moment.
gina409 Posted:

Re: Just something.......

well first off stress will def kill a sex drive..and we all know planning a wedding is stressfull..

i think ur best bet is to compramise..he wants it all the time u dont want it...somewhere in the middle u can both be happy..as for not getting preggo..just use protection..are u on the pill?cause that also kills the sex drive
LiBride23 Posted:

Re: Just something.......

no not on the pill.. i would love 2 be but ummm. last time i took the pill i got prego... miscarriage and gained 60 lbs. no no not 4 me

Cacarina Posted:

Re: Just something.......

I totally feel you with the lack of sex drive. I think my issue is that I am on the BC pill...it really kills the sex drive. Poor FH doesn't even really try with me anymore, I mostly initiate when I want to do it. That is like once a week

As for getting pregnant...be careful because I totally wouldn't want to get pregnant before the wedding either...I wanna wear my dress!!!! Try to not do it unprotected, especially around ovulation (that's what I hear...)
Sweeteey51 Posted:

Re: Just something.......

Your not wrong. You need to explain to him that he has to use a condom until yall get married cuz you dont want to get pregnant. He should understand that. The sex drive was like that with me when i first started BC pills i had no interest whatsoever, but i did it anyway

But you need to sit him down and say your using a condom because im not walking down the aisle in a maternity wedding dress!!!!
FloridaGal Posted:

Re: Just something.......

Why don't you want to use birth control pills?

Try a birth control with lower progestin. The progestin kills your sex drive, but things like Yaz, Yasmine or any of the triphasic pills shouldn't affect your drive as much and the protection should get your confidence up to do it again!

I wouldn't have a sex drive either if I thought I was going to get preggo. I look too good in my dress!

poeticmelody Posted:

Re: Just something.......

I think every other day sounds completely reasonable. Most couples only have sex like 3-4 times a week anyways...which is like every other day anyways...

Since your FH doesn't seem to like ever wearing condoms maybe you should try to find a type of birth control that doesn't require it...

If a certain birth control pill didn't work for you, maybe you can try a different one? Women sometimes go through a couple of different ones before they find one that works well for them...

Then there are other things like the IUD and such that could work for you...

and last but not least...at the risk of sounding like a hippie :o) you can try a completely hormone free birth control called the Fertility Awarness Method (FAM). It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the rythm method. Nothing!! It can be just as effective as the pill (which has a 0.5% pregnancy rate with perfect use) and condom (2%).

There is a fantastic book called on the subject called 'Taking charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler. It's the best book out there for teaching the method. It's a 5 star book on amazon and there's 1,100 ratings. My cousin has been using it for years as birth control and I've used it as birth control too. And if you ever want to get pregnant, FAM is just as helpful because it tells you when your about to ovulate. So, it can be used as both...successfully. Best of all, its inexpensive, your total investment would be $20 for like life (the book and a basal thermometer) and there are no side effects! YAY!

And lets say that you bought the book and decided not to use FAM as your birth control...it'll still be worth it because you will have gained an incredible amount of useful knowledge about your body.

FM if you want more info.

Best of luck!

LiBride23 Posted:

Re: Just something.......

like how i am i take the world's problems as my own. Like friend and family. Like last weeek there was a huge fight in my house.

the top floor is a apartment which is my brother his B*tch wife (hate her you will see y) and his kids

The gound level is my mommy and my 2 brothers (teenagers) and

thebasement apartment is myself and FH and our 2 dogs.

The fight happen my brother kicked me my Fh and Dogs out. Because his B*tch does not like them. because they r pits etc.........

She called the police on me while no one was home just me and my dogs and my 2 teenage brothers. Meanwhile I am on parole. I have 18months left. so it is like the littlest thing i can go back upstate.

So i am still stressed about that cause i have 2 find a place 2 live. I am doing the wedding, in the process of getting back into school, i work full time. I am scared 2 leave my dogs at the house while i am at work.. one of my Bm's had 2 cancel. The wedding plans are going 2 shyt. and it is like I love my Fh, but do u really think just because u worked all day i am going to get naked and lay down wit you cause ur in the mood.. like r u kidding me? and if my Period does not come this month that i am not going to hurt him? like seriously.

so so sorry it is long i just had to release the stress. lol
poeticmelody Posted:

Re: Just something.......


Posted by LiBride23

like how i am i take the world's problems as my own. Like friend and family. Like last weeek there was a huge fight in my house.

the top floor is a apartment which is my brother his B*tch wife (hate her you will see y) and his kids

The gound level is my mommy and my 2 brothers (teenagers) and

thebasement apartment is myself and FH and our 2 dogs.

The fight happen my brother kicked me my Fh and Dogs out. Because his B*tch does not like them. because they r pits etc.........

She called the police on me while no one was home just me and my dogs and my 2 teenage brothers. Meanwhile I am on parole. I have 18months left. so it is like the littlest thing i can go back upstate.

So i am still stressed about that cause i have 2 find a place 2 live. I am doing the wedding, in the process of getting back into school, i work full time. I am scared 2 leave my dogs at the house while i am at work.. one of my Bm's had 2 cancel. The wedding plans are going 2 shyt. and it is like I love my Fh, but do u really think just because u worked all day i am going to get naked and lay down wit you cause ur in the mood.. like r u kidding me? and if my Period does not come this month that i am not going to hurt him? like seriously.

so so sorry it is long i just had to release the stress. lol



Wow...no wonder you have no sex drive.Your sister in law is a horrible person.

LiBride23 Posted:

Re: Just something.......

lol.. she is.... Karma is a b*tch

ELluvsMB Posted:

Re: Just something.......


Posted by Cacarina

I totally feel you with the lack of sex drive. I think my issue is that I am on the BC pill...it really kills the sex drive. Poor FH doesn't even really try with me anymore, I mostly initiate when I want to do it. That is like once a week




This same thing happened to me. I ended up changing BC like 5 times to get one that was better. I'm on one now thats a little better but not much. I think it's also stress related. When we have a carefree weekend i'm fine...but when it's a stressful week at work/lack of sleep, ect it's a no go. It's VERY frustrating and it has really effected our relationship at times.

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