How old should the YOUNGEST child be at a wedding.
answer the poll before you read the story ... If you dont mind ...
OK, FH's brother is is jail, and his brothers wife had a baby a few months ago. Me and her DO NOT GET ALONG ... she has made nasty comments and just been a terrible person to me throughout my courtship with FH
so, we are getting invites that include response card addressing and letting people know how many seats are reserved for people ..
WELL ... FH seems to think I should reserve a seat for his sister in laws 7 month child ...
OK .. its enough that I invite her while his brother is in jail ... I get that its his neice, but REALLY? I should have a baby cry at my wedding? We HATE each other and he does not get that she will make the child cry ...
regardless, is it known that no babies go to weddings???? I am not trying to upset anyone ... but we do not have kids and there are other people with kids ....
Special K
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I understand your rant on this one but this has to be discussed with your FH if you really don't want to bring children/babies at your wedding, your FH should consider this also. It is better to convince your FH not to invite the child, I think that's the way to deal with it.
Good luck! :)
bridetobesteph
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I understand your anger, but the polite thing to do is allow the baby to be there.
I did cut children under 16 from my guest list (unless I wanted to add another 100 people no joke) besides my flower girl and ring bearer.
In my Emily Post book it says you can cut extended children out of the wedding, but your neice and nephew are front and center. The baby is your soon to be calling you 'Aunt', and it is not worth your fighting with your man.
I know that it ***** and you guys hate each other, but you will most likely 100 percent be dealing with each other forever. What if she left your kid out of anything? You'd most likely be upset especially if you hate each other.
Good luck & Best Wishes!
ckontra2
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I agree with you, no babies at the wedding. It is not like the baby will remember being at the wedding. IMO not the place for babies. We are inviting my fh's niece, but she is 8 and my nephews who are teenagers.. and that is it for kids.
SummerBride10
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
ITA with you- NO BABIES!!
The youngest child not in the BP will be 11...IMO thats a little young- but not young enough to start crying and make a scene (plus he's my cousin so I couldn't not invite him).
bridezilla2b
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
in the end, my issue is not with the baby, JUST WITH A BABY AT THE WEDDING!
The baby is a crier .... I just CAN'T imagine a child crying during my service.
We are having NO CHILDREN at this thing ... I have even woken up upset over this
WeddingGem
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
First of all, the poll didn´t come up when I opened this so I couldn´t answer the poll before reading. Personally I think that´s a little young. I would also think that parents would not want to bring children that are that young so that they could have a night out by themselves. From what I understand most people put an age limit to how old they allow kids to be that are invited. My family has done this a lot. When I was younger there were weddings I was not invited to. My baby sister (no longer a baby at 23!) was left out of a lot of wedding when she was younger. All our cousins and Family memebers had an age limit.
However, this is a decision that has to be made together with your FH. I would address it from the angle of it being her baby and you think she´ll make the baby cry. That way you are making it personal. It may make him feel like he has to defend the baby (even though you obviously don´t have anything against the baby, this is how he may react).
I think you should talk in general terms about why there shouldn´t be any children under xx age. You can use arguments such as they won´t remember, they might cause a disruption, etc. Whatever are you´re personal reasons for not wanting babies at your wedding. Maybe if you approach it from this angle it would work better. But do it when you are both calm and not stressed and talk about it. Thats just my opinion.
Hope it helps.
Corinne Ann
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
we are having no kids either but certainly NO BABIES..... NO WAY!!!! reguardless if its is neice or not a wedding is not the place for a 7month old!
evemg00
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
aside from the isuues going on, I personally feel a baby that age is TOOO young for this type of event. Someone else posted that yes thats your niece, however, being 7 months old she's too young to be expected to 'behave' and not cry and she will not remember when she's older. She'll have other things to look forward to that she'll love doing with you as her auntie. She will not hate you forever because she couldn't attend your wedding!
Your FH really needs to understand that it's not about the isuues involves in all seriousness. This is a wedding not a family reunion, not a birthday party!
pjankowski
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
No babies!!!! For that matter-- no children. My godson and his sister are my RB and FG. they are being picked up after they are announced at the RH. There is no reason for a child to be there. A 7th month old will not be a part or remember your day. Like previously said, you need to convince FH... hopefully not fight with him on this. MY FH was unsure of the whole kid thing and when his mom and sister out and out agreed with me he backed down--- BIG time.
Good luck! She doesn't belong there!
JessNicole7EM
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
Posted by bridetobesteph
I understand your anger, but the polite thing to do is allow the baby to be there.
I did cut children under 16 from my guest list (unless I wanted to add another 100 people no joke) besides my flower girl and ring bearer.
In my Emily Post book it says you can cut extended children out of the wedding, but your neice and nephew are front and center. The baby is your soon to be calling you 'Aunt', and it is not worth your fighting with your man.
I know that it ***** and you guys hate each other, but you will most likely 100 percent be dealing with each other forever. What if she left your kid out of anything? You'd most likely be upset especially if you hate each other.
Good luck & Best Wishes!
I agree with this - you're going to be that child's aunt. Plus I can see why this would cause a fight because his brother can't be there the next best thing is the brother's child.
In the end it's your decision but definitely find out the specific reasons why it's so important to your fiance to have the kid at the wedding. Maybe his reasons will make you realize this is really really important to him because his brother can't be there or maybe his reasons will make it obvious that the child shouldn't be there after all.
Tetelove
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I would let FH know that you do not get along with her and your really being NICE by allowing her to even come. I would not allow her to bring her childand if she does not want to go then thats all for the best....
MrsCM
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
No babies! Especially if you are not allowing others to bring their older children!
Our two exceptions to the no kids rule were our flower girl and ring bearer.
azailia
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
having a 7 month old is very inappropriate...it is not a barbq it is a formal affair.
jenturch
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
This is such a personal decision. Who knows...maybe she won't come anyway due to the bad blood between the two of you.
Shellymd
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
Total oppostite answer here. I did not exclude children from my wedding at all. I sent the invite including all children expecting the parents to make the choice. I had a very formal evening wedding. MY FH's cousin brought her 3 month old baby and it didn't bother anyone. My FH has a little sister and also a few cousins from out of town. THey ALL came and I got some great pictures dancing with the kids. I guess I am different but I really dont see what the big deal is with having kids at the wedding. In the end, you need to be comfy with your choice. If you really dont wnat her there with the kid then you and FH should decide together and stick to it. Everyone's opinion will be different with this but I wish you luck with your choice :)
hcl777
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I'm not sure if this is relevant, but in the past when I've participated in weddings, I've seen them put infants and their mothers in small rooms adjoining the main hall that had a view of the ceremony but was soundproofed so that crying babies and fidgety toddlers couldn't disrupt the ceremony.
Bottom line, I totally agree that it's too risky to put a baby in the middle of a ceremony. The question is not whether they will make noise, it's how much and how loud!
RellyBride
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I'm in the minority too in that I don't think nieces and nephews of any age should necessarily be excluded. I also work with young kids and I think that crying kids are a natural part of life- we were all there at one point too!
If the baby is crying, they can be taken outside. But, they will be calling you 'Aunt so-and-so' someday and I think its so fun to be able to talk about your memories of them at the wedding when they're older. Maybe its just me.
greeneyed bride
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
Im just sorry your staying up at night over it......these are such stressful desicions. The truth is (only in my opinion) most of the time children do not need to be at a formal affair. If you a big fam w/ lots of kids and you want all there that sounds like a great time....but......its Defiantly not the expectation of most and it really gets sticky when there is an exception or exclusion. Much easier when it is all or nothing.
that being said....'how important is it' ? Its better to be happy than right....if this is very important to FH.....you may wanna cave and suck it up.
JAAMS
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Re: k .. a bit angry .. help with a tiff with fh
I don't think it is a known fact that babies don't go to weddings-- if you want people to know that, you'll have to tell them.
As of now, the youngest child will be 2, but if someone has a baby before then, the youngest child will be younger
