Has anyone ever had to kick someone out of their bridal party? I have a friend who well I thought was a good friend. I asked her to be in my bridal party and her answer was 'i dont know lol'. Right there I was suspicious. Then I let it go and she said she would do it. I tried to plan a get together to have all the bridesmaids go out one weekend. She right off the bat told me she couldnt go out that night because she didnt have enough money. Then I read on facebook the same night that she is out partying at a club. I just feel like shes not going to 'be there' for me or help out like a bridesmaid should. Our friendship in my eyes is even questionable because of past experiences. I just really want to avoid conflict and avoid looking like the bad one. So anybody have any ideas how I can kindly let her know I no longer want her in my bridal party?
suzie411
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
I would maybe approach her in a very non threatening way (bc it is an uncomfortable and sensitive situation), and explain there are a number of things involved that require some money and time (dress, hair, makeup, shoes, bridal shower, nails, bach party, etc.) and she may not be able to really make that commitment, and give her the opportunity to choose not to do it before kicking her out.
give her the out now. you still have a lot of time.
HTH, JMO
Watermelon5
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
Idk...i know its tempting but idk if you can really kick someone out! maybe just do as suggested and raise your concerns that financially this may be a burden on her to maybe give HER the opp to back out, otherwise i just dont think there is a nice way to 'demote' your friend lol...im sorry
irisheyezrsmilen
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
Honestly and not to sound mean at all.. But if you do go along with kicking her out just be prepared that may be the end all to your friendship. I know you said its on the rocks already but that could be the final straw.
Maybe talk to her first and just bring up some concerns or how you may be feeling. Cause you cant really bring up her money issues, she may have told you that she is tight on cash and went out the same night but keep in mind her priorities are much different on how she spends her money. I would just talk to her first and let her make the decision of if she wants to be a part of it still or not.
Good luck tho
BklynBabe1624
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
Personally, I wouldn't baby her at all. She lied straight to your face about not having enough money to be going out but ended up at a club. Her initial response to asking her to be a bridesmaid was 'I don't know'. Maybe she is the one who feels uncomfortable to take on the responsibilties but doesn't know how to decline such an honor. If I were in your shoes, I would sit down with her and ask her if she feels too pressured to be a bridesmaid. Explain the responsibilities, and the commitment to it all and see what she says. If she still says 'I don't know'. I would take that as a decline, and tell her it's okay. If your relationship has been ruined in the past, is this someone you see having in all in your pictures, sharing in on your special day? Think about it, but from the outside looking in, I don't think she wants to be a bridesmaid and doesn't know how to tell you. Either way, it may work out better if she is just a guest at your party. No hard feelings or brizezilla wars.
VCanizalez
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
Yes I have kick ppl out n people have 'gave up' On me.... So yeah if you feel soemthigns NOT right... Then go with ur gut... I got SCRW bc i keep thinkin 'ahh nah everything will be fine.. I dont want to kick them out.... '
ourwedding9510
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
I would simply offer to go to coffee and talk to her. Tell her your concerns and if she doesn't understand well frankly that's her problem. I WISHED I would have kicked out a member of my bridal party. She was USELESS and did nothing but talk about her wedding, ask if I needed help and then come up with some excuse but I went above and beyond for hers. Now, she's in all my pictures and my memories and I want to punch myself (and her) for not kicking her out when I had the chance. Our friendship is over (she's a C U NEXT TUESDAY) and I have nothing to do with her but all these reminders of my wedding of her!
Do what you gut tells you to do otherwise you will regret it!
Jenn7982
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
i'd kick her out! you still have plenty of time before your wedding, so it's not like she's been there with you through this process and all that
Mel-N-Az 2011
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
If she is stressing you out now with a year + to go, i would talk to her about whether or not she can make a commitment.
AugustFeather
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
Did you formally ask her to be a BM?? Her 'LOL' response would imply that she wrote back. Did you verbally and formally ask her or did you ask through a text or email?? Just thinking could be the reason she isn't taking it all the seriously?
RFutureBegins2day
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
I dealt with a similar situation. What I did was called them out on it knowing they would drop out, so I did not even have to ask them.
RFutureBegins2day
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
Posted by suzie411
I would maybe approach her in a very non threatening way (bc it is an uncomfortable and sensitive situation), and explain there are a number of things involved that require some money and time (dress, hair, makeup, shoes, bridal shower, nails, bach party, etc.) and she may not be able to really make that commitment, and give her the opportunity to choose not to do it before kicking her out.
give her the out now. you still have a lot of time.
HTH, JMO
This!!!!!
TeAmoChris
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Re: Kicking out a bridal party member
tricky tricky....I would throw it back on her and be like I think it would be easier or more conveient for you not to be in this...it seems your too busy but thank her anyway....
