kids at the wedding, a couple of out-of-towners, really need your help!!

Hey Girls, I am hoping you could help me with a little something. We weren't planning on having any kids at the wedding, except those in the bridal party. (which would be 5) But, since our wedding is out of state, I have had a cousin ask me if his kids were invited. Being on the spot, I said yes. Ever since I have said it, I have regretted it. Obvisously, I can't take it back, but I am wondering how to word it to others that are in state. For example, I was thinking of maybe inviting ONLY MY (or FH) first cousin/immdiate family kids. There is only one on his side (she is our FG) but that would add another 10 kids on my side.

My other option (which, I don't know if this is proper or not) is to only, by word of mouth, invite the children for the family from out of town, which would only be 5 more kids. But, if I do it that way, it would leave out my one cousin's two kids, when her own brother's kids are attending.

UGH! I am sure someone else was in this situation, and I am just wondering how everyone handled it. I was thinking of getting a babysitter for people, but I really don't know anyone, and I myself wouldn't feel right leaving my own kid with someone I don't know.

Should I just stop the insanity and just invite the 14? Or just invite the kids from out of state and hope that no one is the wiser?

Well, I can tell you from experience that not inviting some kids, but inviting other kids can cause problems. A few years ago, my cousin got married in Connecticut. His now ex-wife and him invited the out of state cousins, but not us who lived very close. It caused a huge fight during what was supposed to be a happy time. My parents were offended, and didnt go to the wedding, and some of my aunts ganged up on my uncle (father of the groom). Thnings still arent great between them- and it all started with this event.

geesh! Thank you for sharing your story. How closly related to you was this cousin? Maybe I should just blanket it with only MY (FH doesn't have any) first cousin's kids.

Or, I could just tell everyone no kids, and if my out of town cousin who I already told to bring his kids does, i will pretend he did it without my knowledge.

ugh!!

UPDATE!!

I have been throwing ideas around in my head ALL DAY and finally I realized- my first cousin (who is 20) must certainly have some girlfriends willing to make 100 bucks for 4 hours, so I gave her a call. She is calling her best friend tonight to see if she will be able to do it. So, now I have the piece of mind to tell my OOT cousins that although kids are not invited, they will have a paid babysitter provided by me to watch their kids.

I am soo relieved to get this off my chest!!! I figured I would just have her watch them in the hotel room that they are staying in.

Has anyone else tried this?

My fiance and I are not having children at our wedding (with the exception of his 3 nieces and nephews).

I ran into a problem similar to yours. My MOH just had a baby (a little over a month ago). She knows we're not having children at the wedding and told me that she's going to have to bring the baby...end of story. I must admit that I was a bit angry when she made the comment. When she told me this, the baby hadn't even been born yet. One of my BMs had a baby a week before my MOH. Here's where it gets sticky: FI reluctantly said we need to make the exception for my MOH. I made the mistake of complaining to my BM (the one w/ the newborn) when my MOH told me she intended to bring the baby. My BM thought it was inappropriate for my MOH to TELL me she was bringing the baby and said, 'Just tell her that I'm in the same boat and realize I have to make other arrangements.'

Long story short: I'm freaking out because I'm now imagining screaming babies at our ceremony. I admit I'm being a bridezilla, but truth be told, I don't want crying children there for the ceremony. If we make the exception for my MOH and this BM, we're now going to have to extend it to the rest of the wedding party (most have been married for a while and have children).

A babysitter isn't an option since they'd never leave their babies with a stranger (I cannot blame them one bit).

Hmm, maybe we can give out teething rings as favors.

Oh, it's a whole thing with my MOH. First of all, I've regretted asking her to be MOH instead of just a BM. Long story short: she said something I found rather hurtful back in early May. Rather than speak with her about it (as an adult would do), I chose to ignore her until I was no longer angry. It took me about a month to calm down and call her. I never mentioned how hurt I was by her comment (having nothing to do with the wedding since I wasn't even engaged yet).

FI proposed in September, and I asked her the day after he proposed. About a month after I asked her, we were speaking on the phone and she said she was hurt that I didn't speak to her for a month earlier in the summer. This would've been the opportunity for me to be an adult and explain that I was deeply hurt by something she'd said. Instead, I made up a bunch of malarky to excuse my lack of contact.

We've spoken about 4 times since I got engaged. Every conversation has been one that I've initiated. Despite only speaking 4 times, I've called tons. I began feeling like I was stalking her. I realize asking her was probably a mistake because she really is unable to help out with wedding things. She does have a newborn and it was my error to ask someone I knew wouldn't be able to help when I needed it. Obviously her child comes before my wedding.

One of my BMs has been picking up the slack. My FI has been telling me that she's the one I should've asked from the beginning. She and I are much closer and she really is acting as my MOH. I've been thinking about having a Maid of Honor AND a Matron of Honor so that my BM (who is basically doing everything) is acknowledged.

I was emailing this BM about my bachelorette party and she said, 'I'll be more than happy to plan everything.' I thanked her and she responded saying, 'All I'm missing is the title.' She's right.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking this thread.