i was just curious why wouldnt some of you girls want children in your family at the wedding? i can see if they are insansly misbehaved but i cant imagine my wedding without the kids there
laural2979
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Because if you let one come then you have to let them all come. An evening wedding that goes until 1am is no place for a child.
06NovBride
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Re: Kids at wedding...
We didn't have kids more because of the number of them rather than the fact that we didn't want kids at the wedding. If we invited one, then we had to invite them all. Actually all of the parents were happier that they weren't invited because they enjoyed a night out.
sr081906
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Multiple reasons for not having kids:
- budget / max number of guests - kids running around like crazy, bumping into people, etc.. - time of the wedding
I went to weddings where kids were very behaved then I went to a wedding once, I would not leave my chair or you would have kids running between the tables, bumping into people. That was VERY annoying. Especially if you are a guest and those kids are not your adorable relatives.
I had 2 kids at my wedding. The FG and the RG. While they were nice, I know they ran around and gave them 'the look' a few times and calmy told them to calm down. That did the trick!
Kara and Todd
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Well, to each his own. I understand why some people want kids at their wedding, but IMHO, children don't belong at wedding receptions... but this is just my opinion. I understand others disagree. I personally do NOT want children at my wedding.
First, my wedding ends at midnight. I cannot imagine our nieces and nephews lasting until midnight. A party that goes from 7 to midnight is no place for a child.
Second, the adults coming to my wedding reception want to enjoy themselves and not have to be running all over the place minding their children. None of them would bring their kids anyway, even if we did invite them. My cousins and brothers actually wanted to make sure we weren't inviting kids to the wedding - b/c they don't believe kids belong at an evening wedding reception either!
Third, even at half price, the cost for kids to attend the wedding adds up (and they don't count toward our minimum). I personally cannot afford to have 20-30 kids at the wedding - that's like paying for 10-15 people to come that don't count toward the minimum. Personally, it's not in our budget.
Fourth, if we had to invite family's kids, we'd have to invite everyone's kids. I'm sorry, but at a wedding that should be around 140-150 guests, I just don't want an additional 25 children under the age of 10 there, and there would be at least that many. It's an adult party, not a kids party.
Fifth, even the most well-behaved children will get tired and bored at weddings... maybe not all of them, but most of them will. Even with coloring books and dancing and all that for them, it's an adult party. They are going to get bored and possibly mischievous.
Sixth (and this may be an unpopular opinion), but I think the kids would become very annoying to the other adult guests. Even the best behaved children are - well, children! They are going to be running around, not watching where they are going, taking out toys to play with, etc. IMO, that interferes with my guests enjoyment of what should be a pretty sophisticated party.
For me, it comes down to the fact that we want our guests (and us, too!) to enjoy the wedding reception without having to run after children all night long.
I love all the little kids in our family... but we are not inviting them to the wedding for lots of reasons, even beyond those listed.
nifheim
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Re: Kids at wedding...
I am inviting my niece and nephew who will be six because they are my ring bearer and flower girl, 4 other kids from cousins but one wont show so i am not worried his kid who would be two.
Thats it and to be honest the only reason i am inviting them is because my sister in law thought it would be mean not to have playmates for my niece and nephew. To be honest since its night wedding on a sunday i am not sure if both cousins will bring there kids anyway. They are drinkers and probably wont want to be bothered with them IoI
eelharas4700
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Re: Kids at wedding...
All my family is from Michigan, and I couldn't imagine them coming with out the kids, who are my cousins. My family is HUGE though. Fh didnt want kids either but I dont see the harm. I plan on having a few things for them to do like activity books and things like that. It'll be good fun!
lredhead79
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Im having a Sunday wedding. I have 7 children under the age of 10 attending. They are my 1st cousins and I wouldnt want to insult my fmly or my cousins for that matter. Children get disappointed easily. If I was having an evening wedding things may be different.
july06bride
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Re: Kids at wedding...
I had some children at my wedding... a RB who was 4, a FG who was 6 and the others ranged from 8-13.
They were flying in from various parts of the country to attend my wedding..it was inevitable that they were coming... and NO , we did not invite our friend's kids, or our parents friends kids...JUST Family...They were dancing and having fun all night... they were not annoying, they were generally wellbehaved. At one point the DOC told them to go in the other room-and they had fun all night... it was no big deal at all
soon2bcopswife
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Re: Kids at wedding...
We chose not to have children at our wedding because I think it's insane to pay $75 per kid to eat chicken fingers. Our wedding went until 1am and I don't think it's appropriate to have them out. Also, it's for adults to enjoy and not have to watch over their kids. I have been to weddings where kids cry and do other inappropriate things like when the vows are being recited. It's not the kids fault, he doesn't know better, but I didn't want to hear that on my video. To each his own.
MJDoc12
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Posted by Soon2BeMrs
i was just curious why wouldnt some of you girls want children in your family at the wedding? i can see if they are insansly misbehaved but i cant imagine my wedding without the kids there
if you love kids at your wedding, that's great! i think it's totally up to each couple.
for me--we have hoping to have about 120-130 guests at our wedding. and if we let all the immediate family members bring their kids, that # would jump to about 150-160. and quite frankly, many of those kids are totally ill-behaved by theirselves...now add more kids to it that are bad azz...it becomes a romper room! not to mention a budget concern.
i guess my big issue with it is, it's a wedding reception that is meant for adults. there's alcohol, dancing, and lots of conversations. i want my guests to just enjoy themselves and have a day where they are just having a good time, and not having to monitor their children...or in some cases, allow OTHER ppl to monitor their children at an event. (my brother and his GF think they have a ROOM full of babysitters when they bring their kids somewhere.)
and i'm sure i might get flamed for this, but i just gotta say. sometimes i think that parents feel like they just can't go ANYWHERE without their children. like if you they are away from their kids for a couple of hours, the world is going to end. yes i know that it can sometimes be tough getting a babysitter---but i've given ppl as much as TWO YEARS NOTICE to find someone. and sometimes it seems that they wait until the last minute to tell a bride & groom that they just couldn't find anyone and have to bring the kids. (i've seen this A LOT on these boards, where girls post about being upset that someone HAS to bring their 2 yr. old or something). i just find it sooo rude.
okay, stepping off soapbox now.
NY031978
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Re: Kids at wedding...
having kids at my wedding was a NO for us bc i felt bad picking and choosing who. I felt if we had 1 or 2 we needed to have them all. I dont have many kids in my family that id even invite except my 3 younger cousins. But they are just wayyyy to wild and theres NO way id have them. Only kids we are having are our 2 FG which are our daughter whos 2 and neice whos 1 (but i know my neice wont be there all night anyway just CH and intros!) Then our RB whos 3 and our BM son so he also will be there for CH and intros only! A wedding till 1am may not be the place for a baby but id never have my wedding and not have our daughter there w/ us! It kill me and i know how much shes looking fwd to being a 'princess' that day! At 2 all she talks about is her wedding haha its not mommys its hers! Then she says how shes going to be be a princess w a tiara. Id just feel terrible if i took that away from her!
TheFutureMrsFazio
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Re: Kids at wedding...
FH and I were not sure what to do about this. His niece is 10 and she will be in the wedding party and my three brothers who are 13, 14 and 18 now will also be in the wedding. Kids are half price under age 13. Basically, they're like a 2 for 1 deal. We're going to ask his cousin to use her two kids for a flower girl and ring bearer...he's very close with his two cousins and aunt and uncle on his mothers side b/c his parents passed away 11 years ago. Long story short....she has 3 total kids and her brother has 2. So with all those kids thats 6 kids which are like 3 adults so we basically said what the hell and decided to make a kids table. They're all very well behaved kids and kids make a party fun. They'll be dancing and will look adorable and cute in pictures!! Their parents also know it's their responsibility to watch them so Im not worried. The only thing that worries me is that the other side of the family will be annoyed we didnt invite their kids, but they all have older children and from most of what Ive heard they all like a nice night out w/o their children to relax and enjoy themselves.
Espo22
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Posted by Soon2BeMrs
i was just curious why wouldnt some of you girls want children in your family at the wedding? i can see if they are insansly misbehaved but i cant imagine my wedding without the kids there
I love kids but heres the thing, I would have to pay $90pp with the possibility of over 30 kids its a bit much. Plus we are getting close to our maximum . And we went recently to a special occasion and there were a bunch of kids, i didnt hear any speeches bc the kids were running around in the middle crying and screaming. Plus with 30 kids, that means more tables like i said before, which means more centerpieces, menu's and so on, so it would cost us quite ALOT of more money for kids.
Espo22
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Posted by laural2979
Because if you let one come then you have to let them all come. An evening wedding that goes until 1am is no place for a child.
Yeah exactly, thats another thing. MY reception is ending at 1:30am.
DanNette
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Posted by Kara and Todd
Well, to each his own. I understand why some people want kids at their wedding, but IMHO, children don't belong at wedding receptions... but this is just my opinion. I understand others disagree. I personally do NOT want children at my wedding.
First, my wedding ends at midnight. I cannot imagine our nieces and nephews lasting until midnight. A party that goes from 7 to midnight is no place for a child.
Second, the adults coming to my wedding reception want to enjoy themselves and not have to be running all over the place minding their children. None of them would bring their kids anyway, even if we did invite them. My cousins and brothers actually wanted to make sure we weren't inviting kids to the wedding - b/c they don't believe kids belong at an evening wedding reception either!
Third, even at half price, the cost for kids to attend the wedding adds up (and they don't count toward our minimum). I personally cannot afford to have 20-30 kids at the wedding - that's like paying for 10-15 people to come that don't count toward the minimum. Personally, it's not in our budget.
Fourth, if we had to invite family's kids, we'd have to invite everyone's kids. I'm sorry, but at a wedding that should be around 140-150 guests, I just don't want an additional 25 children under the age of 10 there, and there would be at least that many. It's an adult party, not a kids party.
Fifth, even the most well-behaved children will get tired and bored at weddings... maybe not all of them, but most of them will. Even with coloring books and dancing and all that for them, it's an adult party. They are going to get bored and possibly mischievous.
Sixth (and this may be an unpopular opinion), but I think the kids would become very annoying to the other adult guests. Even the best behaved children are - well, children! They are going to be running around, not watching where they are going, taking out toys to play with, etc. IMO, that interferes with my guests enjoyment of what should be a pretty sophisticated party.
For me, it comes down to the fact that we want our guests (and us, too!) to enjoy the wedding reception without having to run after children all night long.
I love all the little kids in our family... but we are not inviting them to the wedding for lots of reasons, even beyond those listed.
Well Said!
AMGBride2008
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Re: Kids at wedding...
this is JMO... I think weddings are no place for kids. My #1 reason though for not wanting kids at my wedding (which is a battle I've already lost, so there will be kids there ) is because I want my guests to have a good time, not watch after their out of control/clingy kids all night long.
To each their own though... I think kids at weddings can be beautiful, it's just not for me.
libby2595
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Re: Kids at wedding...
the children at my wedding were: two flower girls, ring bearer, ring bearer's brother, two jr bridesmaids, one nephew, and my son.
i really didn't have to worry about children. luckily there aren't any guests (besides those mentioned above) who have kids to bring.
but, if there were more, i would have said none-except for my son and the bridal party. this is because of:
as stated above... money running around and getting into things not a time for children to be out.
jmho
giggles62
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Re: Kids at wedding...
Posted by Kara and Todd
Well, to each his own. I understand why some people want kids at their wedding, but IMHO, children don't belong at wedding receptions... but this is just my opinion. I understand others disagree. I personally do NOT want children at my wedding.
First, my wedding ends at midnight. I cannot imagine our nieces and nephews lasting until midnight. A party that goes from 7 to midnight is no place for a child.
Second, the adults coming to my wedding reception want to enjoy themselves and not have to be running all over the place minding their children. None of them would bring their kids anyway, even if we did invite them. My cousins and brothers actually wanted to make sure we weren't inviting kids to the wedding - b/c they don't believe kids belong at an evening wedding reception either!
Third, even at half price, the cost for kids to attend the wedding adds up (and they don't count toward our minimum). I personally cannot afford to have 20-30 kids at the wedding - that's like paying for 10-15 people to come that don't count toward the minimum. Personally, it's not in our budget.
Fourth, if we had to invite family's kids, we'd have to invite everyone's kids. I'm sorry, but at a wedding that should be around 140-150 guests, I just don't want an additional 25 children under the age of 10 there, and there would be at least that many. It's an adult party, not a kids party.
Fifth, even the most well-behaved children will get tired and bored at weddings... maybe not all of them, but most of them will. Even with coloring books and dancing and all that for them, it's an adult party. They are going to get bored and possibly mischievous.
Sixth (and this may be an unpopular opinion), but I think the kids would become very annoying to the other adult guests. Even the best behaved children are - well, children! They are going to be running around, not watching where they are going, taking out toys to play with, etc. IMO, that interferes with my guests enjoyment of what should be a pretty sophisticated party.
For me, it comes down to the fact that we want our guests (and us, too!) to enjoy the wedding reception without having to run after children all night long.
I love all the little kids in our family... but we are not inviting them to the wedding for lots of reasons, even beyond those listed.
Exacty why we are not having children.
ant n tilde
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Re: Kids at wedding...
see, i am definitely in the minority here
i feel that marriage is a celebration of the union of two families INCLUDING children - while i understand everyones reasons. . .to me - if i got married and my nieces, nephews and young cousins werent there to celebrate - something would DEFINITELY be missing.
however, kids are always invited to all my family's weddings and also FH's family - and FH and I are usually the ones dancing and playing with the little ones - i think they are the most fun! my niece was on the dance floor the whole night for my brother's wedding - she had the best time. . .and she ate some fries and chicken fingers and fell asleep on a chair after a while. . . my sister was not restricted from doing anything. . . i mean she got to eat, dance and socialize while the kids just had a blast!
I can understand if people dont want to bring their kids so they can relax etc. but i would be heartbroken if my brother or sister decided to do that!
lol, just talking about this makes me sad - seriously if my nieces and nephews couldnt celebrate my wedding with me - it just wouldnt be the same!
I can guarantee though that my neices and nephews - AND FH's cousins have never been 'annoying' at family parties - for us, nothing is better than watching children enjoy themselves!