Kids at wedding

I wanted to see what experiences others have had regarding kids at a wedding. My FI and his family are all from Indiana where weddings as not nearly as formal and pricey as they are on LI. It is one of those where you get invited and it is understood that the whole family is invited and they are just held at like a VFW or KofC hall. Well, we are keeping our reception small, but between his sisters there are 4 kids under the age of 6. This freaks me out tremendously!! Two of them will actually be a ring bearer and flower girl. I am worried about them running around at the reception. I have nighmares of little fingers stuck in my wedding cake and games of Red Rover on the dance floor!! Getting a babysitter for the wedding would be an insult I think, so do you think I should tell my FMIL that the kids need to be watched and behave and that it is not a free for all?? Or should I have my FH talk to his sisters. I'm sure I am overreacting and just anticipating the worst! Any advice?

Re: Kids at wedding

remember that after a long day of shlepping all over the place from getting ready to the ceremony, then pictures than to the reception, those kids are going to be tired and cranky, in which case it will be their mother(s) responsibility to watch their kids.... You can say something to FI to be on the safe side..

FYI, I will NOT be having children at my reception.. one of FH's Aunts will be having her nanny watch all the kids back at the hotel after the ceremony..

Re: Kids at wedding

We are only having kids who are immediate family at the wedding.There will be no exceptions to this rule because most of our friends have children so if one can't bring, then none of them can.
Most of the immediate family kids are around 10 or 12 so they won't be a problem. My one nephew is 3 and one other kid is 2, I think. I'm not worried about them because I'm sure the parents will watch them. I am glad they'll be there because I want them in the pictures with us.

Re: Kids at wedding

If you are going to have kids at the wedding and are worried about them running all over the place, why dont you make each of them their own unique favors. I have come across many ideas on these wedding websites including having a 'kids only' table with a basket 'centerpiece' with crayons, coloring books, stickers, etc in it.

You could also give each of them their own little 'bucket/bin favor' if you don't want to do a 'kids only' table and again put color books, stickers, crayons, cards, etc in it. This way they will be sitting w/ their parents but will have activites to keep them busy in their seat. YES, they are kids and will run around and it is up to the parent to 'control' them but when does that EVER happen?

Just some ideas for those who must have kids at their reception!

Re: Kids at wedding

I'm all over the crayon and coloring book thing! I have gotten each their own pack or crayons and a coloring/activity book. So hopefully that will occupy them for a little while! If that doesn't work, I may have to slip a little jack daniel's in their soda!!!!

Re: Kids at wedding

I think that if your FH just mentions to his sister that the day will be very long and if it would be easier to have a sitter come and get the kids around XX and then she and her husband can have a great time alone it can be easily arranged.
I would also make sure that the kids can get 'kid' food at the reception- chicken nuggets, burgers, fries. And I would provide them with a goodie bag full of crayons, coloring books, non-noisy toys without any small parts.
I wouldn't have nightmares though. I am sure his family will watch them.

Re: Kids at wedding

You're not overreacting. I have similar concerns.
Honestly, if you are worried about their behavior, you might want to re-consider having the kids in the wedding....

Two of the kids in my FI's family are extremely well-behaved (they are brothers) and will be part of the wedding. But two others are awful -- I have visions of them running up the aisle to interrupt the ceremony (and their parents laughing -- that happened at another non-wedding event we were all at...)

Anyway-- I think we will send the brothers their own invitation (kids love to get mail).... Everyone else with kids will just get the ol' 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' -- no kids' names, no 'and family'. If it is brought up to us (and I'm sure it will be), we'll deal with it. It would be a long trip, and a long day for them, and I doubt the parents would even think about bringing them. But ya' never know -- people can be pretty brainless!!!

Re: Kids at wedding

I am the youngest of 7, who are much older than I. I have nieces and nephews ranging from 28yrs old, just about my age to 4 years old. Our family has always had the kids at all the weddings, in fact all formal family functions, and we have never had a problem. The kids, especially younger ones, love to dance. If you are having a dj or band, they will most likely be dancing most of the night. The idea with the crayons, coloring books, etc is great too. These thing will keep them occupied. I also like to idea of a kids only table, we are going to do that for the 5-7 kids 10 and under. Most parents with kids like 8-12 know what their kids like and don't like. My sister had let my nephew bring his game boy to receptions before. He is a little old now for the whole dancing, but will sit quietly and play with the gambeoy, then hang out some with others closer to his age group. I am not sure if everyone had had as good experiences as I have, but I wanted to give you some good stories so there were more than just 'kids running all over' stories. Don't worry and good luck.

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I agree 100% with Decbride. I have posted about this before and it is what I am most adamant about. I WILL DEFINITELY have kids at my wedding. My FI and I both come from large families and wouldn't even DREAM of not inviting kids. They are such a big part of our lives and make ANY occasion more memorable and special. Think of when you have kids........ I can't wait to have mine. You'd be surprised at how kids act at functions like these. They can be better behaved than drunk Uncle Joe

P.S in total we have 19 kids invited between the ages of 1-14.

Re: Kids at wedding

At least the kids don't get mad when you make decisions about the wedding

Re: Kids at wedding

Thanks everyone! I'm sure they will all be fine...everyone just wants their day to be perfect. I am just concerned because there are no little kids on my side of the family, so we are not used to all the craziness of kids whereas FI family is kid-centered and they laugh and egg the kids on. Maybe I'm the one that will need the shot of Jack!!I'm sure it will all work out!

Re: Kids at wedding

I never thought about them sticking fingers in the wedding cake Oh no!

I too, had MAJOR concerns about having the kids there. I have a lot of cousins with young kids, and if I wanted my cousins there (which I do) the kids have to be there. Basically what we are doing is making a little activity center, which will include coloring books, mini games, slinkys, yo-yos, etch a sketch etc, and hopefully that will keep them occupied for a little while. I know it won't keep them busy the whole time, but every little bit counts. We have also spoken to the parents of all the kids and have said that they are the ones responsible for keeping their kids in line for the day. Hopefully everyone will compy. We are also keeping the kids with their parents at the tables so they can keep an eye on them more closely. One of my family members has agreed to take on the role of 'bad guy' so that if any of the kids are really acting out, they will be the one to talk to the parent right there.

This part is definitely stressing me out, but what can you do. If the kids have to be there, you just have to do your best to not let it ruin your special day! Good luck!