kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
kimmy02
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kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
at first my FH and i were on the same page.. we were planning on having an adult party.. but now things have changed... Were sending out STD's soon and need to get the official list together.. but FH informs me that he apparently thinks if some of his family members are coming from CA they should bring their kids...
i say there is no grey area... i cant tell my family in the next town to get a babysitter so his family with children can come cause they are traveling.... and his mother already mentioned its ok to bring their children... ???
am i wrong?
KrisD72310
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
No, I don't think you're wrong. If that's your decision it has to apply to all IMO. We're doing the same thing. When my sister got married my dad freaked out that she wasn't inviting my 5 year old cousin (who we hardly knew). Well, now that FH and I are doing the adult only wedding, my dad knows that all of FHs nephews and cousins who are under 18 aren't coming and he knows he can't say a word to me. All I keep saying is, if I do it for one, I have to do it for all of them. I'm standing firm on no kids!
Diana508
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I think you have to do it across the board with no exceptions. If they can bring their kids, your side should be able to also.
We had this same discussion. My cousin, who I'm close to, won't be able to bring her daughter since we're not including kids on his side. It just wouldn't be fair.
MikesBride2B
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I don't think you are wrong, however I see where he is coming from, since many of my OOT relatives have children. We are having an adult only reception, but I've already decided that if child care is the only thing holding someone back from coming to the wedding, we will provide a babysitter or two (depending on how many children there are) at the hotel during the wedding/reception so that the adults can attend and not have to worry about the children.
jmgoncal
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I think you are absolutely right - we actually had this discussion recently about family coming down from Canada. I don't think it's right that they should be able to bring their kids but those that live closer woudn't. Ultimately, those distant cousins from Canada can easily ask another family member on LI to put them in contact with a babysitter for the night of the wedding. So that's what we decided. The only children that will be there are my 1st cousins.
chelley720
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I am also doing no kids but since my whole family consists of 16 ppl including aunts cousins and grandparent plus immediate fam. I know really small!!! My cousins will be 10 at the time so we decided that no one under 10 can come with the exception of my one cousins baby who lives in CA it would be my grandma's first time seeing the baby and she will not fly so I thought that it would be nice to have her play w the baby but thats it. My sis is plannin on having a baby b4 my wedding and I already told her that the baby is not invited!!!
AngnShaun
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
We decided 13 is the cut off age.... there are too many little kids in both families.... we also spoke to a few parents and they said they would be leaving the little kids at home anyway... the reason we did 13 was so FHs little brother could have people there his age
elp6421
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
My FH and I decided not to have kids for the fact that it is already expensive let alone paying $100+ for a kids dinner. The only children that will be there are part of the wedding party.
Bee12
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
kimmy02, no you are not wrong... in order to be fair and avoid the drama.. both side need to respect the 'adult only memo'....
bride2be1012
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
The only children I will be having are my flower girl, my ring bearer and the ring bearer's two brothers ( because I think it would be rude to not invite his brothers and not him). They aren't that young either. They will be 12 and 14 at the time of the wedding.
Cassie15
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I can say from experience that you are not wrong for thinking that way. It's your big day and you have the right to invite and include whomever you wish. However, keep in mind for guests with children who are taking time off from work or attending right after work, which will get hectic for them to find a sitter or to find someone who can look after their kids. Originally, I planned on not having any children attend my wedding b/c of the noise. Also, parents will be looking after them more than relaxing at the wedding. In the end, DH explained how it would be difficult for every parent & guest to find someone who would be available to look after their kids. Relunctantly, I made the exception. And to my surprise, the kids were well behaved, DH's aunt brought along two 1 yr. old's. They were quiet the whole time. No crying, fussing or screaming. And this was an outdoor tent wedding in the summer. Although, that may not be the case or work out in favor for every person, I can say that it's harder for working parents to find someone to care for their children. If it means a lot to you and your FH for this person to be at your wedding, I would say at least make it easier on their end and let them bring their children. Find open section in the room and set up a kid's table with activities- crayons, coloring books, etc. to keep themselves occupied.
MrsDR2010
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
No you are not wrong. It may start problems thats why I said I am only having the kids in the BP.
harts2976
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I have a few cousins that like to ask the week before and say they can't come with out them. We are only having my nephews who are the RB and my FH neice who is the FG. Even them we are having a daughter of my moms friend at the wedding to leave with them when they get to tired. Other than that its no kids. I think you have to pick one. Having some from one side and nonefrom the other can start som problems
JayBee216
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
since we're having 4 FGs and 2 RBs, we have to have kids at the reception. We will be providing a babysitter for the bridal suite so the parents can party and still chk up on them.
elisa112101
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
from what i am told... you should not waver on the no kids rules for anyone!! if you dont want kids then make sure that the OOTers know BEFORE they rsvp! that way there wont be conflict(yeah right!) good luck on this!
Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
Whatever you decide is what it will have to be. We are having kids but limited to immediate family (nieces and nephews) so we did not invite cousin's kids or friends kids. Already FH's cousin replied she is bringing her son. I let it slide because he is only 2 so he's free and if we tell her no and then she sees some kids there how will she feel. These are the things you will have to deal with as they come but I think for the most part adults probably wont want to bring their kids so they can enjoy the night...
BrideC
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
You are not wrong!! FH and I had the same exact problem. We are having an absolutely no kids wedding. BUT he has family coming from CA so we didn't know what to do. We decided that the kids would NOT be invited. If we invited them we knew all the other aunts and uncles would be upset they couldn't bring their kids.
FMIL said 'if you have one you have to have them all.'
And I feel she was right. Although they are coming from CA, they will have to put their kids with the other young cousins that are getting babysat that night. It ***** but you are right there can't be a grey area. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neeks
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
no kids sorry!!!!! there wont be any babysitters at the wedding and the kids dont want to be there
Tetelove
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
I don't think that you are wrong. Both you and FH have to form a uniform decision on this issue. If you are not allowing not one child on your side of the family to come to the wedding, then it should be the same for him...Sit and talk to FH and make him understand that having kids at thewedding is something that you don't want...period. Good luck..
Nina1010
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Re: kids or no kids... has this been an issue for anyone?
We had a similar situation so we decided that only family children will be invited to our wedding... and those who live OOT. Although there shouldn't be a grey area... when it comes to weddings, there always is. Most often, people do understand and could use time away to enjoy themselves and celebrate the event.
