Kind of a parenting questions, but CIRCUMCISON

a friends father had diabetes with complications and had to be circumcized around the age of 50. It's a very suseptible area.

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by jaclyncalderon

Marymoon....you're FH's parents are jewish right? Is that going to be a problem??

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You mean if we don;t circumcize our sons? Yeah, probably. But they have something to say about everything, and we have decided to do our own thing.

I have to be clear on this. FH is fighting me tooth and nail over this particular issue. I mean of course he is, he's jewish, and he'll probably win out, but as I say that I cringe because I just can't imagine somone cutting parts off of my newborn baby. That's part of the reason for this post. i'm trying to understand the reasons, and so far it just makes me more resolute in NOT wanting them circumcisec because to me most of the reasons cited are not good enough reasons to give surgery to an infant (imo...of course it's a personal choice).

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Out of curiousity do you plan on raising your kids Jewish? Was your FI raised in a religious family?

FH is Jewish(not overly religious) - I'm catholic and haven't decidied what we will be raising our kids

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Posted by june262004

Ok Im going to be bold.... Whats it like being with someone sexually who isn't?

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No difference in sensation for me and to be honest, when I have seen the uncircumcised penis, I found it quite unattractive.

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by june262004

Ok Im going to be bold.... Whats it like being with someone sexually who isn't?

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No difference in sensation for me and to be honest, when I have seen the uncircumcised penis, I found it quite unattractive.

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Well I have seen one not in person though

Just wondering.

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Posted by june262004

Ok Im going to be bold.... Whats it like being with someone sexually who isn't?

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honstly there is no difference.

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Posted by jantany26

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Posted by june262004

Ok Im going to be bold.... Whats it like being with someone sexually who isn't?

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honstly there is no difference.

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Well not that the guy would now but they say it feels better for them right.

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Posted by jaclyncalderon

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Posted by marymoon

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Posted by jaclyncalderon

Marymoon....you're FH's parents are jewish right? Is that going to be a problem??

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You mean if we don;t circumcize our sons? Yeah, probably. But they have something to say about everything, and we have decided to do our own thing.

I have to be clear on this. FH is fighting me tooth and nail over this particular issue. I mean of course he is, he's jewish, and he'll probably win out, but as I say that I cringe because I just can't imagine somone cutting parts off of my newborn baby. That's part of the reason for this post. i'm trying to understand the reasons, and so far it just makes me more resolute in NOT wanting them circumcisec because to me most of the reasons cited are not good enough reasons to give surgery to an infant (imo...of course it's a personal choice).

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Out of curiousity do you plan on raising your kids Jewish? Was your FI raised in a religious family?

FH is Jewish(not overly religious) - I'm catholic and haven't decidied what we will be raising our kids

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We plan on raising them with both traditions, which I guess you would boil down to saying is they'll be christian, but not forgetting the jewish background of christians. Actually we'll be teeaching them what we believe (Fh and I have religious views that are 90% similar), and I don't know how you'd label it.

For Fh, of COURSE he wants his sons to be circumcised, and until I thought about it, I thought sure, fo course, because that's what everyone does...but I never do anything b/c everyone does it, so I did have to think about it, and right now I don't see why it's necessary. I'm not going to argue against anyone's religion, but even for religious reasons, there is a LOT of stuff in the bible that we don't apply today, circucision has lasted through the ages, but maybe it shouldn't have.

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Posted by june262004

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Posted by jantany26

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Posted by june262004

Ok Im going to be bold.... Whats it like being with someone sexually who isn't?

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honstly there is no difference.

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Well not that the guy would now but they say it feels better for them right.

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According to my DH, it does...but he's never been circumsized...so...

but I will say, it is easier on my *ahem* wrist action!

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Posted by jaclyncalderon

What I am surprised to read is so many people saying that they want their son to look like their father because he is their role model - I just don't understand what son is seeing his father's penis? I know FH has never seen his dad's (asked when I read this) and I have never seen my mother naked - I hope I don't offend anyone I was more just curious and wanted to throw this out there

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When we were little...I'm talking under 4 or something...and we were short on time (ie my mom needed to get out of the house quick in the morning) we would take showers with my parents. me only with my mom, but my brother with either my mom or my dad. I don't think it's that unusual.

marymoon, you keep saying that this thread is just reinforcing your position against circumcision, that's fine, but I think that just like you said that 'because everyone else is doing it' is not a good enough reason to cut an infant, I think that 'just to be different than what everone else is doing' may also not be a good enough reason to NOT do it. I know that's not your only reasoning, but let me just throw out a hypothetical:

What about if your son comes up to you when he's older and asks you 'why am I different from all the other boys? Why didn't you and Dad want me to look like the other boys?'

Your answer will be because *I* couldn't deal with them cutting the genitals of an infant? Because *I* think it's barbaric? So now HE has to feel 'different' because YOU didn't like the idea? I can only imagine that a boy would be thinking 'well, that's great MOM, but you're not the one who has to live with it!'

I just think you have to consider how the child is going to feel about it later in life, not just how you feel about it now. And yes, you can always say that at least if you don't cut it as an infant, he has the choice to cut it later. But we've all heard that it's much more painful to be circumcised later in life.

Well obviously me not wanting them to cut my baby's genitals is out of concern for the baby, and not wanting to put a baby through an uneccesary surgery for no reason. I'd tell my son there's no reason for the surgery, and that he is the way God made him, and how god designed him to look, and I didn't want to mess with that.

It has nothing tod ow ith being different, it has to do with, why have elective surgery if you don't need it, just because everyone else does? it makes NO sense. I think more helpful would be to remove every baby's tonsils when they are born, that way they woudlnlt have to go through the hell I went through for more than a decade with them..but I'd never do that either

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Posted by marymoon

Well obviously me not wanting them to cut my baby's genitals is out of concern for the baby, and not wanting to put a baby through an uneccesary surgery for no reason. I'd tell my son there's no reason for the surgery, and that he is the way God made him, and how god designed him to look, and I didn't want to mess with that.

It has nothing tod ow ith being different, it has to do with, why have elective surgery if you don't need it, just because everyone else does? it makes NO sense. I think more helpful would be to remove every baby's tonsils when they are born, that way they woudlnlt have to go through the hell I went through for more than a decade with them..but I'd never do that either

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Mary people have surgery all the time fpr cosmetics..

when i was growing up there was a girl in my kindergarten class that had a birth mark on her face....

They had it removed....because she felt inadequate...there is nothing wrong with that...same with this!

Goldi - I agree, that's why I said we need to find a guy who was circumsized after he first became sexually active to see what he thinks!

I think that what marymoon is getting at here is that there's no particular medical reason WHY it should be done, so she doesn't feel it's necessary. Yes, there are religious reasons. I'm not sure that I *think* (please note, I Think = this is an opinion) that the 'my kid won't look like everyone else' argument is really valid. I feel it's my job as a parent to make my kid feel as confident and comfortable with himself however whatever his situation. I know a little girl who was born with webbed toes and her mom told her she had 'special toes' and she was just thrilled with them and would show everyone. She didn't feel bad because she was different, she reveled in it! Yes, children can be cruel, but I will teach my child to be proud of their bodies.

That said, my situation is also that my DH, kids and I will live on both sides of the Atlantic...so he will always be in the minority somewhere.

As for the hygeine thing - the fact is that there are A LOT of men in the world who are not circumsized. If not being circumsized caused infection on a regular basis, don't you think that more men would be circumsized? You hear about men with problems because they've had problems. I mean, no one's going to walk up to you and say 'Guess what? My penis is not circumsized, but I've never had any infections, hygeine problems, etc' Those with hygeine problems are in the minority when you look at the larger picture.

All I'm saying is that when making this decision you (the general 'you') should be careful that you are really taking into account the child's best interests, regardless of your beliefs. That may lead different people to different decisions.

If we lived in Europe or South America, obviously the debate would be somewhat different.

Well what i don't want for my child is to think he has to change himself to be accepted and loved. I want him to be proud of who he is. You're always going to be different for something. If he's circumcised, then maybe he'll still have a big nose, or webbed feet or a **** or whatever.

I think it's important no matter who you are to be confident in who you are and how god made you. You can't protect your kids from everything

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Posted by marymoon

Well what i don't want for my child is to think he has to change himself to be accepted and loved. I want him to be proud of who he is. You're always going to be different for something. If he's circumcised, then maybe he'll still have a big nose, or webbed feet or a **** or whatever.

I think it's important no matter who you are to be confident in who you are and how god made you. You can't protect your kids from everything

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i agree with what you are saying but imo it is hard being a kid and if i can help my child in certain ways i will.

I do not think a child shouldn't have to feel inadequate because mommy doesn't agree with how he/she feels.

AND to say that well teacher, mommy or daddy should teach him/her to love thy self....COME ON.

We all were in grade school and know that is a load of poo poo.....kids are goign to feel that way no matter what

And although i am not going to go and let my kid have a boob job and suck...
a nose job, circumcision, and such i will!

A lot of italians i know pierce their childs ears before their daughter is even 1 years old!!! Is that wrong too?

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Posted by RedHead

A lot of italians i know pierce their childs ears before their daughter is even 1 years old!!! Is that wrong too?

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mine were done when I was 20 days old! (A week before my baptism) - I'm so glad they were done early, obviously, I don't remember ANY pain!

I defintiely understand your perspective, I really do, but it seems like we're taking part in a self fulfilling prophecy here. A vicious cycle, because all kids get circumcised, we all circumciese out kids, so then all kids get circumcised and it continues.

Also, I really REALLY hope the other kids in grade school aren't seeing my kid's penis.

I understand it can be hard for them as a young adult, t be different and to think that girls won't like it, etc I'll think about it.