Kinda bummed

Yes that is frustrating.

I dont want to divulge any thing either but I DO know someone that goes through the same thing. FM me if you want to talk. Hope you're alright.

first off
second..im so sorry for fh loss

trust me when i say i have members in my family who r the same..i lucked out fh is notlike that but i know all to weel what u r saying..

u really need to talk 2 fh and tell him how u feel..he might not even see anythign wrong cause thisis what he has been used to all his life..holding it in will only fire u up even more and its better to talk bout it now b4 the wedding and b4 u move in together..from what u have said bout fh i can seehow much he loves u and knowing u feel this way im sure he will do what he can to make it work and make u both happy..but even if it starts a war between u two he has to know how u feel..it will eat u up onside if u dont..hope u feel better
fm me anytime..u knwo that

and i will def miss u this wekkend..i will have a drink for ya..and well do it again soon so pugsly can be reunited with his long long sister wednseday

Sorry about your FH's loss.My FH's family is the same way. When he lived at home they never bothered with him but now that we live together they are always hounding him to come visit them and have a movie night when before they never even cared.His mother calls him every single day to say she misses him and sends him cards saying i miss you like he's 10 years old. There's nothing you can really do because if you say something about what they do with their family..World War III breaks out.

Hopefully your FH's family will stop relying on him so much...as i too hope the same

I am deeply sorry for your loss- even though it's FH's Uncle- it does affect both of you.

I can KINDA relate. My FH is the 'good son' and he has a Sister whom I get along with but she doesn't do anything for anyone.

Anways, here's an example- FH will bend over backwards for his family if he WANTS to which I think it's the way to go. But one night- like last week I think his Mom asked him to pick up milk and he said okay because he was going out anyways. Well, he came over my house and completely forgot and his Mom flipped out.

Not for nothing but she can get the damn milk herself. AND I told FH that. He agrees and he told his Mother that.

I am not worried when it comes to this because FH doesn't do anything he doesn't want to when it comes to his Parents. AND FH does stand up to his Parents when need be so that's a plus.

SO does your FH ever stand up to his family or no?

First I'm sorry for your husbands familiy's loss.

But you must have you FH stand up to his family now, otherwise you are going to encounter these situations for the rest of your life together!

If you are planning on staying close to his family (in terms of driving distance to his parents' house) then you need to speak with your FH about this. This behavior doesn't seem to change on its own. Does your FH like being at their beck and call? Maybe he doesn't realize the affect it's having on you?

You don't want him to think you're making him choose between you and his family, because soon YOU will be his family too. You want him to re-prioritize his obligations.

for the family death

for you!

I sorry you have to go through this. EVERY family has their own share of drama. Some better and some worse than others.. but no doubt it's there!
I just hope that as time goes on and your lives get busier and more hectic (im picturing kids and stuff here) that his family's constant feelings of needing FH will dissapate. Eventually though FH will have to just stop jumping for them. And it will be hard for you to break him of his bad habits (the not doing things because he was always babied). I hope that he comes to terms with helping you around the house and not expecting a mother out of his wife.

Ha ha.. I can't help but think part of our jobs of being a 'wife' will be to break them of their bad habits they learned from their mother or families.

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Posted by pa56

If you are planning on staying close to his family (in terms of driving distance to his parents' house) then you need to speak with your FH about this. This behavior doesn't seem to change on its own. Does your FH like being at their beck and call? Maybe he doesn't realize the affect it's having on you?

You don't want him to think you're making him choose between you and his family, because soon YOU will be his family too. You want him to re-prioritize his obligations.

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ITA! Couldnt have said it better myself!