i feel like my relationship with my mom is getting worse and worse with all this wedding planning.
We used to be so close ... we went dress shopping together and i bought a dress + headband + veil at the store with her ... now i told her that i'm going to try to cancel the headband and veil (and buy them elsewhere) and she didn't think i was making the right choice ... then she told me that i'm starting a fight with her (even though i wasn't) ... then she brought up that i didn't like her idea for the engagement party entertainment ...
it all made me so sad that my eyes started tearing
AdriandSteve
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Re: kinda bummed
as someone said to another bride before on here.
welcome to wedding planning!
It doesn't all have to be like this but i've heard (and experienced) that this is one of those times where parents and children will get along the best or the absolute worst! Everyone has an idea of how things 'should be' and if you don't take their 'opinion' you are really going against them. Let the venting begin. The only thing I can suggest is take everything as a grain of salt.
jennybee
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Re: kinda bummed
Amen to the 'grain of salt.' The mother/daughter relationship is always a crazy one. My mom and I get on like peas and carrots mostly, but when she gets a bee in her bonnet....
(what the heck is up with me and all the phrases??)
AdriandSteve
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Re: kinda bummed
Posted by jennybee
Amen to the 'grain of salt.' The mother/daughter relationship is always a crazy one. My mom and I get on like peas and carrots mostly, but when she gets a bee in her bonnet....
(what the heck is up with me and all the phrases??)
Becca2010
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Re: kinda bummed
My Mom and I went through this when I first started planning. If it wasn't the guest list, it was the shower or the amount of bridesmaids or how much the RH is or anything!
Now, Mom and I are fine. It was like that sticky beginning of planning period where everything was new and jarring! We're used to all of it now (to a point) and we're definitely not fighting as much. Still a little here and there because we're both stubborn, but that's expected.
You and your Mom are going to be fine!! She just needs to get used to all this wedding stuff.
AwaitingAugust
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Re: kinda bummed
haha, thanks for the advice ...
it's just a shock to me, i guess ... we went from being unbelievably close, to this.
and is it weird that i would've felt BETTER if she DID fight with me about it? I guess her giving up and telling me to do whatever i wanted made me feel like she just doesn't care.
AdriandSteve
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Re: kinda bummed
Posted by AwaitingAugust
haha, thanks for the advice ...
it's just a shock to me, i guess ... we went from being unbelievably close, to this.
and is it weird that i would've felt BETTER if she DID fight with me about it? I guess her giving up and telling me to do whatever i wanted made me feel like she just doesn't care.
aaah.. remember that the grass is always greener but not necessarily better.
Becca2010
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Re: kinda bummed
Posted by AwaitingAugust
haha, thanks for the advice ...
it's just a shock to me, i guess ... we went from being unbelievably close, to this.
and is it weird that i would've felt BETTER if she DID fight with me about it? I guess her giving up and telling me to do whatever i wanted made me feel like she just doesn't care.
OMG my Mom pulls that crapp too!! It's so annoying!! It's passive aggressive BS that leads to you feeling like utter crappola. I guess that's a Mom thing???
jennybee
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Re: kinda bummed
Oh she cares!!! Trust me!!! You're her baby and it's probably hard for her that you're making all these 'grown up' decisions without her. Try to include her where ever you can without stressing yourself out too much. Make a joke out of things where you can. I'm like you, I'm sensitive and get upset when those I love are upset, but I've learned from my FH that one little silly comment, joke, smile, hug or all of the above usually turn the tables. Easier said than done but give it a shot...
jennybee
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Re: kinda bummed
OMG my Mom pulls that crapp too!! It's so annoying!! It's passive aggressive BS that leads to you feeling like utter crappola. I guess that's a Mom thing???
Oh my mom can push all of my buttons at once in 5 seconds or less. How do they do it??? Mom School?
halfbaked
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Re: kinda bummed
Don't let it bother you, wedding planning brings out the crazy in everyone. I think there should be a show 'Momzillas'.
And you're definitely better off not fighting. Trust me, I'm not talking to my mom at the moment and it's over ridiculous wedding nonsense and it hurts like hell. Three days before Christmas.
AdriandSteve
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Re: kinda bummed
Posted by jilliibabii
Don't let it bother you, wedding planning brings out the crazy in everyone. I think there should be a show 'Momzillas'.
And you're definitely better off not fighting. Trust me, I'm not talking to my mom at the moment and it's over ridiculous wedding nonsense and it hurts like hell. Three days before Christmas.
little j
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Re: kinda bummed
fact is everyone has their own set of expectations. she has probably been looking forward to this time with you as well and she has her ideas in her head. and when you arent fitting into those ideas and, goodness, have your own ideas. sometimes there is conflict
just take a breath. remind her how you feel but try to reinforce how you value her opinion and her input.
its a hard time. i have had many issues w my mom during this whole process, and i cant say its perfect. but its not as bad (THANK GOODNESS) as it was a few months ago....and really, i think it just comes down to the expectations we set on eachother and how the reality doesnt always fit the situation (which brings on disappointment)
sorry girl. if you need to talk im here. fm me
hth
Future Mrs H
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Re: kinda bummed
Your not alone! If you were on here 6 months ago- I was venting about my mom once a week. She didnt like alot of my ideas for the wedding. It has since gotten better. You have to remember you and your mom are not going to see eye to eye on every aspect of you wedding. If it happens, we are here! Vent away!
