Kinda wedding related vent

I feel that I have almost no real friends anymore. I feel like I have no one to share this amazing time in my life with and it feels horrible. I am stifling tears right now, and if I wasnt at work I would be crying.
I have 2 bff's, one I talk to all the time so her I still have, she's been great. the other one, which I call a sister and we have matching tattoos feels as if she could care less about my wedding or me for that matter. she never asks anything about my FH, or wedding plans progress, or how my job/life going. the only reason she contacts me and very rarely at that is to complain about her love life. she goes on and on for hours!!! I have no problem to listen and to advice - I love doing that, but I think this should be a 2 way street...
now today I was IMing her complaining about something wedding related, all she kept IMing back was 'dont worry its all gonna be great!' 'ur just stressed' etc. I felt as if she could care less and was trying to get rid of me. pissed me off so much! I ended the conversation abruptly by saying 'there's no talking to u', she hasn't even tried to see what's wrong - didn't write back even!
now I also have a family member that got married recently and I was there for her the whole time, now that its my turn, she only talks to me if I call. she IMs me but that's kinda not the same in my book, call me crazy.
I keep thinking about who will throw me a shower, and come up short. my mom is in another country, obviously she can't throw me one, and I just dont see anybody taking the initiative and surprising me. so I guess no shower for me. it's not the shower it's the consideration I want.
reading thru this I feel as a bridezilla, but I know that these feeling dont come from wanting all attention on me, all I want is to get the same attention and love I give when others have something wonderful happen to them

sorry so long.... just have to get it out and I would usually will never have written this if I wasnt this upset as I am right now

Sometimes people who aren't engaged and in this mind frame have a hard time understanding/sharing our excitement. It stinks, but I've learned who to share with and who not to.

Thats what LIW is for

this is why you have all of us. trust me when i say, you will never ever find better advice about your wedding anywhere else. im sure you miss your mom dearly and this is also affecting your emotions. hang in there.

if u ever need to talk im here for you

Thanks everyone! This is exactly why I love LIW so much. You guys are great!

About my friend, what bothers me the most has nothing to do with the wedding. Its just she knows nothing about my life here in NY. And never shows any interest. That upsets me cause she suppose to be 'my person' if to borrow Grey's Anatomy term.
This sux....

You're not a bridezilla AT ALL. We are all here for you and are excited to share your day with you! If the people who you were there for aren't being good to you, then F them, you are a better person! I think sometimes its hard for people to be as excited as we are because its not there special day, ya know? One of my girls is exactly the same way. I did everything for her wedding and she acts as though she doesnt care about anything to do with my wedding. I have come to realize, we are just different people. I love anything and everything wedding related and always have, she just isn't into it. So, keep your chin up! The people that matter most will come through in the end and those who don't, aren't worth your thought!

Like other brides have said, many of us are experiencing this. My cousin who is a BM acts just like your friend and it pisses me off sometimes. I was even at the point where I was ready to tell her she's out of the BP.

I feel the same way you do about getting the same love in return that you give to other people. Some girls are just upset they're not getting married and they don't know how to be happy for you.

Are you close to any of your co-workers, I'm always talking wedding plans with my co-worker and boss. They make up for the lack of support from friends and family.

---

Posted by NanandEric08

You're not a bridezilla AT ALL. We are all here for you and are excited to share your day with you! If the people who you were there for aren't being good to you, then F them, you are a better person! I think sometimes its hard for people to be as excited as we are because its not there special day, ya know? One of my girls is exactly the same way. I did everything for her wedding and she acts as though she doesnt care about anything to do with my wedding. I have come to realize, we are just different people. I love anything and everything wedding related and always have, she just isn't into it. So, keep your chin up! The people that matter most will come through in the end and those who don't, aren't worth your thought!

---

yes that's exactly my situation with my family member! to the point! ugh!

---

Posted by asg450

Like other brides have said, many of us are experiencing this. My cousin who is a BM acts just like your friend and it pisses me off sometimes. I was even at the point where I was ready to tell her she's out of the BP.

I feel the same way you do about getting the same love in return that you give to other people. Some girls are just upset they're not getting married and they don't know how to be happy for you.

Are you close to any of your co-workers, I'm always talking wedding plans with my co-worker and boss. They make up for the lack of support from friends and family.

---

I am not totally close to my co-workers, but I do talk to them all the time about my wedding and theirs. one of them is actually getting married in a couple of months.
this what gets to me, that these ppl that I pretty much only have a professional relationship are more excited and interested than my closest ppl in my life

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time esp with planning a wedding and juggling with work and everything else. I was in the same exact boat myself. I end up doing everything- the planning alone, the shopping, etc. I felt like no one cared when I told them how stressed out I was from meeting the vendors to coordinating seating chart/ceremony readings. My family joked non-stop about me becoming a bridezilla. It was far from it, they didn't understand the kind of work and effort it took to put together a wedding. Since my DH and myself were paying for most of the cost, we were trying to work with a budget. And it gets very difficult when money is a factor. Although you are going through an amazing experience and exciting time of your life, understand that everyone else incl family & friends will continue with their daily life. Until your big day comes, sadly no one will stop time to concentrate on weddings. I know, it's painful b/c you should have someone there to support you and be there for you esp in such an important time in your life. However, understand that they are not in the same frame of mind or time right now. Only you, yourself will understand and accomplish what needs or has to be done. Do your wedding planning and don't worry about anything else. Think about all of the hard work and that it'll pay off on your big day when you can relax and enjoy every minute. Don't fret about the bridal shower, if your friends/family end up w/o giving you one. Let me know , I'll be more than happy to throw one for you. Take it one day at a time.

---

Posted by Cassie15

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time esp with planning a wedding and juggling with work and everything else. I was in the same exact boat myself. I end up doing everything- the planning alone, the shopping, etc. I felt like no one cared when I told them how stressed out I was from meeting the vendors to coordinating seating chart/ceremony readings. My family joked non-stop about me becoming a bridezilla. It was far from it, they didn't understand the kind of work and effort it took to put together a wedding. Since my DH and myself were paying for most of the cost, we were trying to work with a budget. And it gets very difficult when money is a factor. Although you are going through an amazing experience and exciting time of your life, understand that everyone else incl family & friends will continue with their daily life. Until your big day comes, sadly no one will stop time to concentrate on weddings. I know, it's painful b/c you should have someone there to support you and be there for you esp in such an important time in your life. However, understand that they are not in the same frame of mind or time right now. Only you, yourself will understand and accomplish what needs or has to be done. Do your wedding planning and don't worry about anything else. Think about all of the hard work and that it'll pay off on your big day when you can relax and enjoy every minute. Don't fret about the bridal shower, if your friends/family end up w/o giving you one. Let me know , I'll be more than happy to throw one for you. Take it one day at a time.

---

thanks so much Cassie!!! so nice and so true
I guess I expected the same kind of reaction and support I always give others, but I do have to remember that we all are different people and support in different ways.
loved your review for ur wedding! I read it months ago, such a good and helpful review. and tnx again for the band referral!

It's true.... single friends are just gonna be bitter and un-helpful . it doesn't make them any less your friends... it's just hard to be happy for someone when you may not be happy yourself.

I'm feeling this from one of my girls too.
Complain to us we feel your pain!!!

Im sorry that you are going through this. I have found that single people who arent going through the same thing as you are just not that interested. They cant relate to the stress that you are under. Why dont you try talking to her about normal things that arent always related to the wedding and see if she still acts the same way

sorry you are going throuugh this and feeliing bad. its is an interesting time, and like many brides have said, everyone reacts differently to the news. honestly, i expected a bit more from a few of my BMs now...but then i remember that we are still about 11 months away. so just take it one day at a time. do you and do the best for you and FH. if you need to talk/vent, LIW is great!!!

but...its also not fair to compare everything to LIW. after all, it is made up of a bunch of BRIDES who are all like-minded....as we see, its not like this in the real world. and for the most part, people could care less about the planning and events leading up to the wedding. so eff them. just try to enjoy this.

as i am typing this i am also speaking to myself....cuz i know FH and I are 'slow' compared to most of the LIW'ers in planning and everyone seems to have many more people involved in their planning...but ya gotta take a step back and just try to do whats best for you.

i know im rambling....im sick and overtired...so i hope this makes sense.

we are hear for you!! as for the shower....im more excited about the 2010 LIW SHOWER than anything else !!! so make sure you come to that!!!!

I'm sorry this is all happening, but we're all here for you!

FM me if you ever want to talk, or even meet up for some coffee or something! =D

guys, u are all beyond nice!
thanks so much for the support, kind words and total understanding
I love u all