Ladies, I have a question & Need some help!

FH & I had a long discussion last night and we are thinking of making our marriage legal now, and then have our wedding celebration still in 2012.

My questions are:

- Will I have a problem having a ceremony in 2012 at the hall or finding someone to marry us if we are already married on paper?

- What do you think the pros and cons are of getting married at city hall to make it legal and then having a big wedding to celebrate 2 years later with our family and friends?

We are just discussing our options for this and we arent totally sure if this is what we are planning on doing, but before we make a final decision I would love to hear your opinions because you ladies are always so helpful!

The biggest reason for making it legal is so I am not a dependent on my mothers taxes and I can get financial aid on my own and go back to school to start a career before we have our big wedding. {since I was born in December of 86, I have no choice but to be under my mother unless im emancipated or married}

if you get married now, then what you have to do is renew your vows in 2012.

getting married in city hall costs $40 for the license and that's about it.

when sending out the invites in 2012 you would have to let everyone know that they are invited for a renewal ceremony.

also, if you get married at city hall, then you should send out some sort of notice that you were married in a small, intimate ceremony and that a reception will follow at a different date and time

two of my friends got married about a year before their 'wedding' (reception) ... they did it for health care reasons, as far as i know.

They didn't tell anyone (except for very close family) that they got married so when people came to the wedding itself, they thought it was the real ceremony.

i don't see any down-sides to getting married on paper now

Well, are you planning on having a Catholic ceremony in 2012? If so, it wouldn't really be renewing of vows, but would be a blessing of the marriage. But people will know the difference. I don't think you can really do a marriage ceremony after being legally married for 2 years.

Why exactly do you want to get married now?

The only thing that FH and I could stand to gain by being married now is FH could then be under my insurance. That would be a huge plus for us. But he can stick it out for 2 more months.

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Posted by 2BecomeOne

{since I was born in December of 86, I have no choice but to be under my mother unless im emancipated or married}

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That doesn't sound right... I was filing independent while I was in college....? Perm address at home... we had the option to file with my dad claiming me or for me to file seperately and we did whichever way the combined refund was more...

Yeah, there's no reason you HAVE to tell anybody. You can do it privately for your own financial reasons or whatever and then have a wedding. The only person you would have to tell is your officiant.

Maybe you should contact some officiants you're interested in now to ask them about what you would need to do for the wedding, some might have an issue with it and insist on it being a 'renewal of vows' and some might not, you might be a little limited in who you can have perform the ceremony. If you were getting married at a religious house of worship it would be more complicated and then you'd probably be stuck calling it a vow renewal. It all depends on how comfortable you are with people knowing that you're already legally married. In that case they would know because you wouldn't be able to get a marriage license, so that would alert them that you're already married.

My friends did this, and so did my uncle... my friends are having a religious ceremony so I am pretty sure it will be considered a 'new marriage' within the religion (performing it at the hall). My uncle had his at a hall and there was no mention of renewal anything, and not everyone knew they were already married.

There is no downside Christina..you already know my story.. Weve been married since 07'...big wedding in 2012...the invitations im doing is not the vow renewal version, it will be worded as if we were never married-getting married for the first time....
Christina you dont HAVE to do it any particular way. Its what you guys want to do.......Simple!

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Posted by JLWSJC

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Posted by 2BecomeOne

{since I was born in December of 86, I have no choice but to be under my mother unless im emancipated or married}

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That doesn't sound right... I was filing independent while I was in college....? Perm address at home... we had the option to file with my dad claiming me or for me to file seperately and we did whichever way the combined refund was more...

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I agree, I don't know why it would necessarily matter about the dependent status, she would just not claim you as a dependent, you are old enough. You should be able to do it that way and then not put her on your FAFSA... I have been doing it like that for the past 2 years and it gave me a lot more money in financial aid and we are not married.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

two of my friends got married about a year before their 'wedding' (reception) ... they did it for health care reasons, as far as i know.

They didn't tell anyone (except for very close family) that they got married so when people came to the wedding itself, they thought it was the real ceremony.

i don't see any down-sides to getting married on paper now

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i totally agree

tell no one!

it's your life an your business

i wouldnt want my invites to say 'renewal'

so id keep it private

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Posted by miamimerger

For the financial aid...are you going for a bachelors or masters degree? If it's a masters, you don't have to be emancipated. I went to grad school when I was 20, and you are (for financial aid purposes) considered independent when they come up with your EFC for financial aid.

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OOOH, is that what you're concerned about, your parents income being counted toward your EFC? Duh, I wasn't getting that.

Anyway, I think this is a really personal decision... Me, I don't think I'd do it, espcially if I were almost done with college and then grad school you're independent anyway... but if the financial benefits are substantial enough and they're important to you, go for it. I ersonally would feel weird about being married and then celebraing it so much later, I feel like I would have missed the boat...

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Posted by Melvin1297

i am going for my masters and they won't give me any help because i still live at home > i have paid all my bills on my own since i am 15 years old and now im 30 and they still want my parents tax info. and i pay rent, not fair

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You can fight it...
Independent Status:

•You are at least 24 years old on the day you file your FAFSA
•You are or will be enrolled in a masters or Doctoral degree program at the beginning of the school year
•You are married on the day you file your FAFSA
•You are a parent
•You have dependents other than your spouse who live with you and who receive more than half their support from you at the time you apply
•Both your parents are deceased (or were until age 18) a ward of dependent of the court
•You are currently serving on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces for purposes other than training
•You’re a Veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces.
•You were a foster child after the age of 13.
•You are an emancipated child as determined by a court judge.
•You are homeless or at risk of homelessness as determined by the director of a HUD approved homeless shelter, transitional program, or high school liaison.

You can fight it...
Independent Status:

•You are at least 24 years old on the day you file your FAFSA
•You are or will be enrolled in a masters or Doctoral degree program at the beginning of the school year
•You are married on the day you file your FAFSA
•You are a parent
•You have dependents other than your spouse who live with you and who receive more than half their support from you at the time you apply
•Both your parents are deceased (or were until age 18) a ward of dependent of the court
•You are currently serving on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces for purposes other than training
•You’re a Veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces.
•You were a foster child after the age of 13.
•You are an emancipated child as determined by a court judge.
•You are homeless or at risk of homelessness as determined by the director of a HUD approved homeless shelter, transitional program, or high school liaison.

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This is exactly why I need to be married on paper because I am under 24, I am not a parent, my parents are both alive, or any of the others above do not apply to me!! FASFA is so DUMB!

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Posted by allornil

i say do it and dont tell anyone. honestly, we're thinking the same thing. I save a ton of $ on my ins etc if we get legally married.

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I totally agree.

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Posted by 2BecomeOne

You can fight it...
Independent Status:

•You are at least 24 years old on the day you file your FAFSA
•You are or will be enrolled in a masters or Doctoral degree program at the beginning of the school year
•You are married on the day you file your FAFSA
•You are a parent
•You have dependents other than your spouse who live with you and who receive more than half their support from you at the time you apply
•Both your parents are deceased (or were until age 18) a ward of dependent of the court
•You are currently serving on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces for purposes other than training
•You’re a Veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces.
•You were a foster child after the age of 13.
•You are an emancipated child as determined by a court judge.
•You are homeless or at risk of homelessness as determined by the director of a HUD approved homeless shelter, transitional program, or high school liaison.

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This is exactly why I need to be married on paper because I am under 24, I am not a parent, my parents are both alive, or any of the others above do not apply to me!! FASFA is so DUMB!

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I was responding to melvin 1297