Ladies I REALLY need your help. Bridesmaid Question

So, I've been thinking about it for a LONg time. How am I going to incorporate my sorority sisters in my wedding? We don't have enough guys to have all these girls as bridesmaids. I already have 4 bridesmaids and 1 junior bm.

My solution:
At my e-party ask each girl (6) to be either a 'guest
of honor' or 'attendant'

Which sounds better???

Their duties:
-wear red dresses (our sorority color) and my wedding color (they can pick their own dresses out as long as they are red)
-hand out roses (in memory of my dad) to guests as they enter the church
-hand out programs
-hand out flowers for petal toss to guests
-seat guests
-walk down the aisle before my bridal party


I figured this was the next best thing to being IN The bridal party and they don't need to be
involoved in the cost of being a bridesmaid.


What do you all think??? What else can they be responsible for??

If red is your wedding color, are your actual bridesmaids wearing red, too? If so, then will it be 'easy' for your guests to differentiate your attendants from your bridesmaids just from their duties?

IMHO, I think it's a great idea, but maybe there needs to be one more thing that diffrentiates them from the bridal party if everyone will be wearing red dresses. If the bridal party isn't wearing red dresses, then it should be easy for them to be different in their own way.

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Posted by Annoulak

If red is your wedding color, are your actual bridesmaids wearing red, too? If so, then will it be 'easy' for your guests to differentiate your attendants from your bridesmaids just from their duties?

IMHO, I think it's a great idea, but maybe there needs to be one more thing that diffrentiates them from the bridal party if everyone will be wearing red dresses. If the bridal party isn't wearing red dresses, then it should be easy for them to be different in their own way.

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the other girls will be wearing green and purple because we are using jewel tones for our wedding. Purple, red and green. so only the sorority will wear red.

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Posted by snowcat

my MOH had the girls do the same thing at her wedding- they walked down the aisle before her bridal party- it looked really nice

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what else did the sorority girls do during the wedding?

Thats a really nice idea... Im sure they will be so excited & touched

I am not sure if I read this correctly -- so let me make sure...
You are going to ask your sorority sisters to do 'jobs' at the wedding and buy a certain color dress and walk down the aisle -- but not be in the bridal party

This is just my opinion and not trying to start anything here, but I don't get it. I get that you want them to feel like they are part of the wedding but if one of my friends asked this of me I don't think I would feel honored I think I would feel like I didn't make the cut but I still have to buy a dress of a certain color (one I may not like).

I personally don't feel like BPs need to be the same amount of people (mine isn't even close) so if it they are that important to you just have them.

If that is not your thing, ask them to do these things, but walking down the aisle before and wearing a certain color to me is just 'second best.'

I can see pros and cons to what you are doing. I like the red dress idea (and I'm assuming they all already have red dresses they like since it's your sorority color) but an alternative might be to give them each a small corsage or pin with red flowers to honor them.

I'd also tone down how many jobs you give them since they are not in the bridal party. Maybe instead of having them walk down the aisle (depending on how many there are) you could have a song dedicated to them at the reception or something else. I'd focus on honoring them as opposed to giving them jobs.

I have a bunch of friends from a group that I would like to honor in some way, but I didn't ask them to be BMs because I'd have to double the size of my BP (cant pick some without others) and I have only known them 1-2 years. I'm thinking I'm going to make little flower pins or something because there is a flower that is significant to us. I'm not giving them any chores. Just a thought. (maybe you could use your sorority's flower?)

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Posted by bluegreen08

I can see pros and cons to what you are doing. I like the red dress idea (and I'm assuming they all already have red dresses they like since it's your sorority color) but an alternative might be to give them each a small corsage or pin with red flowers to honor them.

I'd also tone down how many jobs you give them since they are not in the bridal party. Maybe instead of having them walk down the aisle (depending on how many there are) you could have a song dedicated to them at the reception or something else. I'd focus on honoring them as opposed to giving them jobs.

I have a bunch of friends from a group that I would like to honor in some way, but I didn't ask them to be BMs because I'd have to double the size of my BP (cant pick some without others) and I have only known them 1-2 years. I'm thinking I'm going to make little flower pins or something because there is a flower that is significant to us. I'm not giving them any chores. Just a thought. (maybe you could use your sorority's flower?)

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Those are good ideas!

i like what bluegreen08 mentioned above..

IMO i'd rather have that honor then be asked to wear a specific dress and so on... at that point i'd rather be in the bridal party..

but if you are worried about the size of your BP go with the suggestions above - think they are more special..

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Posted by anneandchris

I am not sure if I read this correctly -- so let me make sure...
You are going to ask your sorority sisters to do 'jobs' at the wedding and buy a certain color dress and walk down the aisle -- but not be in the bridal party

This is just my opinion and not trying to start anything here, but I don't get it. I get that you want them to feel like they are part of the wedding but if one of my friends asked this of me I don't think I would feel honored I think I would feel like I didn't make the cut but I still have to buy a dress of a certain color (one I may not like).

I personally don't feel like BPs need to be the same amount of people (mine isn't even close) so if it they are that important to you just have them.

If that is not your thing, ask them to do these things, but walking down the aisle before and wearing a certain color to me is just 'second best.'

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I agree 100%. Your BPs don't even have to be close to even. For example. I have 6 girls and FH has 11 guys. Not even close. But it's not a big deal. I also wouldn't feel honored being given a job and told what color I have to wear (even if I can pick my own dress) but not being a BM......I would be annoyed that I can't just enjoy myself and wear what I want. just my opinion. How about you just play a song for them at your reception and you can all dance together with your FH?

i like the idea 'bluegreen' had, too. instead of giving them chores to do during the ceremony, i would just give them each a red coursage, or a coursage of your sorority's flower. maybe put something in the program about them like ' the girls wearing the red coursages today are my sorority sisters, who have been there for me and deserve to be honored today.' or somethig liek that.... and also dedicate a song to them at the reception...

i think that asking them to buy a certain color dress and giving them ' jobs' to do without actually having them IN the wedding party is kind of like saying ' sorry, you didn't make the cut as a BM, but you have to do stuff for me anyway'... not sure how i would feel about that.
i think the flower idea is a much more 'diplomatic' way of honoring them...

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Posted by missliss

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Posted by anneandchris

I am not sure if I read this correctly -- so let me make sure...
You are going to ask your sorority sisters to do 'jobs' at the wedding and buy a certain color dress and walk down the aisle -- but not be in the bridal party

This is just my opinion and not trying to start anything here, but I don't get it. I get that you want them to feel like they are part of the wedding but if one of my friends asked this of me I don't think I would feel honored I think I would feel like I didn't make the cut but I still have to buy a dress of a certain color (one I may not like).

I personally don't feel like BPs need to be the same amount of people (mine isn't even close) so if it they are that important to you just have them.

If that is not your thing, ask them to do these things, but walking down the aisle before and wearing a certain color to me is just 'second best.'

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I agree 100%. Your BPs don't even have to be close to even. For example. I have 6 girls and FH has 11 guys. Not even close. But it's not a big deal. I also wouldn't feel honored being given a job and told what color I have to wear (even if I can pick my own dress) but not being a BM......I would be annoyed that I can't just enjoy myself and wear what I want. just my opinion. How about you just play a song for them at your reception and you can all dance together with your FH?

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I agree with Missliss... I would be kinda annoyed at having to buy a red dress, have a bunch of duties and not even be part of the 'real bridal party' (which will be awkward when you're taking pictures, etc.). I would just make them bridesmaids or honor them in some other way. I think your heart is in the right place, though!! Its really sweet that you want to do something special for them.