Ladies, please help! I dont know how to handle this!

Heres my dilemma, which I am losing major sleep over.

FH and I are not religious, but I dont want to get married at the hall. Growing up, FH had a mentor from his methodist church, who was with him into his distructive teen years. The mentor Rev. Beaven, left the congregation a year ago. I thought it would be nice to get married at Bellport Methodist, and bring Beaven back to marry us, along with current Rev, since FH would always say, I really want Beaven to marry us.

Ive been to the church 2x, and say i love it while im there. Rev Rassmussen is a sweetie, but when I get home and think about it, i have MAJOR reservations.

This church (PLEASE FM me if youve been to it...Bellport methodist) is extemely old, which to me, gives it a sense of charm. BUT, it only holds about 100 ppl. At first I was like...100...we wont have that many ppl! But the more i think about it, the more I worry!!

The aisle is sooooooo small. I walked it w/ the rev., who is smaller than my dad, and he said my dad would be a half step behind me, but i wasnt even thinking about my dress!! Its gonna be big!!

Theres no raised alter, so youll only see me from the waist up!

I thought I was doing a nice thing for FH. THe most important thing he tells me is that Beaven marries us. I talked with Beaven, and he doesnt want us to go to where he is now, cold spring harbor, bc its not polite to the new rev, but where do we go! We told the new rev wed get married there, but we havent signed anything, and we havent given any $$, he just said see you in Jan! Please help becuase im havign major anxiety and losing sleep. Ive been butting heads w FMIL. Shes very strong headed and I know will have a prob with this. Since when did i become evil! AHH!!!

How many people are you inviting?
What day of the week and time would the church be?

I wouldn't worry too much about not having a raised altar.

Fitting down the aisle is another issue altogether, though! It's hard to estimate. This may be strange but--can you try it out with your dad and you maybe wearing a slip over your clothes to simulate the skirt of the dress? Is it an a-line dress?

Is there any way you can get married at another location with your chosen Rev. or does it have to be at that particular church?

If you are not happy with the church and it's set-up, then don't put any $$ down and sign anything yet. Talk it over with your FH and sit down and weigh all your options.

I dont know if I can bring Beaven anywhere. Is it horrible for me to say im afriad of my FMIL? She thinks im going above and beyond this whole wedding thing, and I think shes gonna be hurt. I dont know why.....esp since FH says he just wants Beaven.

IM going to take my dad with me, but what happens if he doesnt fit!

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Posted by Smiles111

How many people are you inviting?
What day of the week and time would the church be?

I wouldn't worry too much about not having a raised altar.

Fitting down the aisle is another issue altogether, though! It's hard to estimate. This may be strange but--can you try it out with your dad and you maybe wearing a slip over your clothes to simulate the skirt of the dress? Is it an a-line dress?

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Its aline with a slip...there are pics in my album

I appreciate it!

I have nothign against the other church, but if dad cant walk me down, i mean..thats a big deal...right??

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Posted by Lools

As long as you can find another Methodist church to accomodate your wedding it shouldn't be a problem for Rev. Beaven to marry you. As long as he's a minister of the same faith as the church you want to be married in I don't see why it would be a problem. There are a lot of Methodist churches and most are really beautiful and traditional.

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I agree. Try another Methodist Church.

The United Methodist Chruch in Bay Shore is beautiful. It's also old, which you mentioned you liked, and has a lot of that old charm. And it fits alot more than 100, with room to expand if necessary. (And a raised altar)

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Posted by alison1daland

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Posted by Lools

As long as you can find another Methodist church to accomodate your wedding it shouldn't be a problem for Rev. Beaven to marry you. As long as he's a minister of the same faith as the church you want to be married in I don't see why it would be a problem. There are a lot of Methodist churches and most are really beautiful and traditional.

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I agree. Try another Methodist Church.

The United Methodist Chruch in Bay Shore is beautiful. It's also old, which you mentioned you liked, and has a lot of that old charm. And it fits alot more than 100, with room to expand if necessary. (And a raised altar)

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You know, you are not the first bride to suggest bayshore! Im going to look into it!

Do brides usually do this? Im going to have to sell on FH

honestly, I wouldn't choose a church for its appearance or layout. It should be chosen for what it means to you. Since this is where your Reverand preached to your FH and his family. then that's where you should be. Don't worry about logistics like the width of the isle.... many people got married in that church already, and they were fine.

100 person seating likely will be sufficient, even if you invite more guests than that, since not everyone will RSVP a 'yes', and of the ones who do, a certain percentage will skip the ceremony.

Be grateful that both the pastor AND the church are available on your day.... it will be a lovely memory of past times when the Reverand was still at that church....