Ladies who got married at City Hall prior to your wedding..

did you keep it hush hush from the family and keep it between you and FH?

or did your family know you were doing it?


FH & I are thinking of doing this because I am loosing my mom's health insurance this year on my birthday so to go under FH's insurance I need to be married to him.. We're not getting married until 2012 so I just wanted some ideas of what you ladies have done.


Thank you for any help!

My FH and I are gonna do a joint bachlor/bachlorette party in Vegas with our friends and get married there before the 'real' ceremony. I'll prob tell my parents after cause for us its kinda a gag.
I think it should be up to you if your going to tell them or not. Of course you guys are going to get married with the ceremony and all, but if you need the stupid paperwork for the insurance (i was in your situation, it sucks), then i wouldnt worry about it.

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Posted by JLWSJC

DO you live together? Could you if you don't? If you live together you could consider looking into domestic partnership under his insurance, some companies are providing this as an option now.

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bear in mind that if you file domestic partnership, you have to claim 4k as income. I could have done this years ago but didnt want to pay the irs for it.

FH and I are doing it as soon as I get a copy of my birth cert. my mom lost mine!

we're not telling anyone bc my family will be like, then why do you need a wedding.

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by JLWSJC

DO you live together? Could you if you don't? If you live together you could consider looking into domestic partnership under his insurance, some companies are providing this as an option now.

---

bear in mind that if you file domestic partnership, you have to claim 4k as income. I could have done this years ago but didnt want to pay the irs for it.

FH and I are doing it as soon as I get a copy of my birth cert. my mom lost mine!

we're not telling anyone bc my family will be like, then why do you need a wedding.

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I was just throwing it out as an alternativ, it's not or everyone...

but don't you claim your income anyway? What am I missing?

your getting married in 2012, so bear in mind, getting married in 2010 is actually getting married much sooner.
technically, when you have your reception in 2012, you really should make it known that you are renewing your vows, and not getting married for the first time since you have been married a that point, for like 2 years almost

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Posted by Moonmist09

your getting married in 2012, so bear in mind, getting married in 2010 is actually getting married much sooner.
technically, when you have your reception in 2012, you really should make it known that you are renewing your vows, and not getting married for the first time since you have been married a that point, for like 2 years almost

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Well if we do get married at city hall, we would send out on the invitations that we kept our marriage quiet and we are just celebrating now with family and friends.. My cousins just recently did that [shes been married for 1 1/2 years now] so that gave us the idea.

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Posted by JLWSJC

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by JLWSJC

DO you live together? Could you if you don't? If you live together you could consider looking into domestic partnership under his insurance, some companies are providing this as an option now.

---

bear in mind that if you file domestic partnership, you have to claim 4k as income. I could have done this years ago but didnt want to pay the irs for it.

FH and I are doing it as soon as I get a copy of my birth cert. my mom lost mine!

we're not telling anyone bc my family will be like, then why do you need a wedding.

---

I was just throwing it out as an alternativ, it's not or everyone...

but don't you claim your income anyway? What am I missing?

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you have to claim an additional 4k on your taxes! hey if I had NO health ins Id totally do it.

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by JLWSJC

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by JLWSJC

DO you live together? Could you if you don't? If you live together you could consider looking into domestic partnership under his insurance, some companies are providing this as an option now.

---

bear in mind that if you file domestic partnership, you have to claim 4k as income. I could have done this years ago but didnt want to pay the irs for it.

FH and I are doing it as soon as I get a copy of my birth cert. my mom lost mine!

we're not telling anyone bc my family will be like, then why do you need a wedding.

---

I was just throwing it out as an alternativ, it's not or everyone...

but don't you claim your income anyway? What am I missing?

---

you have to claim an additional 4k on your taxes! hey if I had NO health ins Id totally do it.

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I am confused about this too I thought all you had to do was ask your company if you can claim your FH/FW as a domestic partner? I never heard of any IRS fees?

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Posted by FALL LOVE12

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Posted by Moonmist09

your getting married in 2012, so bear in mind, getting married in 2010 is actually getting married much sooner.
technically, when you have your reception in 2012, you really should make it known that you are renewing your vows, and not getting married for the first time since you have been married a that point, for like 2 years almost

---

Well if we do get married at city hall, we would send out on the invitations that we kept our marriage quiet and we are just celebrating now with family and friends.. My cousins just recently did that [shes been married for 1 1/2 years now] so that gave us the idea.

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exactly, let everyone know that it was an intimate ceremony. in 2012 when you send out your invitations, they should state that you are renewing your vows. good luck!

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Posted by bella_bride

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by JLWSJC

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Posted by allornil

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Posted by JLWSJC

DO you live together? Could you if you don't? If you live together you could consider looking into domestic partnership under his insurance, some companies are providing this as an option now.

---

bear in mind that if you file domestic partnership, you have to claim 4k as income. I could have done this years ago but didnt want to pay the irs for it.

FH and I are doing it as soon as I get a copy of my birth cert. my mom lost mine!

we're not telling anyone bc my family will be like, then why do you need a wedding.

---

I was just throwing it out as an alternativ, it's not or everyone...

but don't you claim your income anyway? What am I missing?

---

you have to claim an additional 4k on your taxes! hey if I had NO health ins Id totally do it.

---

I am confused about this too I thought all you had to do was ask your company if you can claim your FH/FW as a domestic partner? I never heard of any IRS fees?

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check with your company. it said it on the bottom of the health insurance forms for FH's co so i decided not to do it.

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Posted by FALL LOVE12

We live together but his mail doesnt come here because we live in the basement of my house. We have thought about domestic partnership, but that won't work. I think city hall is the best bet. Just to have our marriage down on paper.

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Why won't it work I am under FHs insurance as his domestic partner.

just did this June 30th. Our parents/siblings know, and one or 2 close friends. We did it for health insurance/child care reasons, FH's insurance doesn't cover domestic partnership . My FH (still calling him this, even tho he is technically husband), doesn't consider us 'married' because he says we didn't do it in front of our family and friends. I respect his wishes and we are still having a wedding in 2011.
If you are both ok with it, and still want to have a wedding, I see no problem with it, because you still want to share your day with the rest of your family and friends.

here it is

The IRS

Same-sex couples cannot be treated as spouses for federal tax and employee-benefit purposes, regardless of state law. The IRS has determined that employment-based health benefits for domestic partners or non-spouse cohabitants can be excluded from taxable income only if the recipients are legal spouses or legal dependents.

The federal and state governments do not tax benefits for spouses. But the federal government taxes benefits for domestic partners because it does not recognize those relationships. Also, in some instances, an employee who receives benefits for a domestic partner has to pay for the premium with after-tax dollars and then pay taxes again on the cost of the benefit because it counts as income.