Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

FH is a Trooper he worked all weekend on night shifts (upstate - I don't see him for a few days when he works) and I haven't talked to him at all today...I just called him and he picked up and said 'hey babe I'm processing a drunk right now let me call you back' Damn drunks ruining my goodnight call!

Any of you gals with Fh in law enforcement or Firefighters can relate I'm sure (or any profession that has non-traditional hours)...He's working Thanksgiving too Sorry I am a complainer but I'm new at this...he only graduated the academy in June...Any advice to get over the lonely holidays?? I mean I will be with family for sure but its not the same, you know?

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

Oh no is this what I have to look foward to?? FH is waiting for the call from the NYPD to go into the academy..
I just thank goodness sometimes that the economy is bad & they have been cutting the size of the academy classes so he hasnt gotten the call yet. I know I'm pretty selfish and a bad FW, lol but I don't want to be lonely all the time while he's out fighting crime and I want him to be safe. I like the job that he has now much better!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

---

Posted by FallBride2012

Oh no is this what I have to look foward to?? FH is waiting for the call from the NYPD to go into the academy..
I just thank goodness sometimes that the economy is bad & they have been cutting the size of the academy classes so he hasnt gotten the call yet. I know I'm pretty selfish and a bad FW, lol but I don't want to be lonely all the time while he's out fighting crime and I want him to be safe. I like the job that he has now much better!

---

Aww, I can relate its a rough life change process! it is definitely hard to get used to but now I can't see him in any other career! He was so made for this haha. I was selfish too...I think I even made him feel bad about it...the trooper academy was 6 months and in ALBANY!!!!! It was like boot camp they only let them call if they felt like letting them...if anyone in the class messed up the weekly call home was canceled! Eventually they ended up letting the recruits come home on weekends but that may have been worse because every Sunday it was another goodbye!

If it is his passion try to roll with it...it makes a gal proud to have a man in uniform too

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

---

Posted by Tessie728

aww I totally know how it is!! FH is in FDNY.. he works overnight shifts and there are times when I dont see him for 2-3 days straight... Now he is injured and out of work for a few months... I see him ALL THE TIME and I miss MISSING him!!!

---

Same here I usually don't see him for 3 days straight...he works pretty far away so he can't come home in between shifts, he has to sleep at his aunt and uncles house up there. Thankfully, he only has to work every other weekend I know what you mean about missing - missing him haha...we went to different colleges and when we graduated and I came back to LI I definitely missed missing him! I guess we have a good balance again

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

yea my FH is in the military and sounds like they have similar schedules...every other wknd off and 2 days on 2 days off besides that...sorry FH dosent have thanksgiving off :(. It can get really frustrating, but we've been together a long time now so i am really used to it and it used to be alot worse, we used to live really far away from eachother....hmm all i can say is it makes the time you guys are together that much more special :) and for me it helps me get through the week i always have something to look foward to (when im gonna see him again). Good luck and if you need more venting feel free to FM me!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

---

Posted by futuremrsreilly

FH is a Trooper he worked all weekend on night shifts (upstate - I don't see him for a few days when he works) and I haven't talked to him at all today...I just called him and he picked up and said 'hey babe I'm processing a drunk right now let me call you back' Damn drunks ruining my goodnight call!

Any of you gals with Fh in law enforcement or Firefighters can relate I'm sure (or any profession that has non-traditional hours)...He's working Thanksgiving too Sorry I am a complainer but I'm new at this...he only graduated the academy in June...Any advice to get over the lonely holidays?? I mean I will be with family for sure but its not the same, you know?

---

My DH is a Trooper & we live upstate too. Where does your FH work out of ?? If anyone knows what you're going through I DO HANDS DOWN! DH also has to work on Thanksgiving but he's got the 2 shift (7am-7pm) & was approved for 4 hrs PL time so he doesnt have to go in until 11 pm (which gives us most of the day together at our house w/my family. DH just celebrated his 13 year anniversary w/ NYSP in Oct. He started w/ NYSP when they still had 8 hr tours - there are pros & cons to the 12 hr tours - the con is that by the time you get done working you are so tired you dont want to do anything else but sleep, The pro is that you do get every other weekend off. When they did 8 hr tours you only got 1 weekend off every 6 weeks...ugh! I guess everything is a trade-off. I have been w/ DH a little over 6 years so I know what its like to be a trooper GF/FW & now DW. SO if you ever need to vent or commiserate - dont hesitate to FM me - we all have to stick together!

You have to know that once he gets more time/seniority on the job the holidays will get better b/c then once he has more seniority in the barracks he's working at he'll get 1st or 2nd pic for vacation time & then he can take time off for the holidays & you will get to be together. Sadly this year b/c we had 2 week HM - DH couldnt take off for Thanksgivng, Christmas & New Years. We lucked out that he's working Christmas Eve & New years Day so that gives us Christmas Day & New Years eve together this year. There were a few years when we first moved upstate where DH & I were just by ourselves b/c he had to work on a holiday - I tried to make it as nice as I could & sometimes I was able to visit him at work & drop off some food goodies to let him know I was thinking about him. I know this may be harder for you since you live on LI - but it's something you may want to think about for the future....(even when he is able to transfer down to a LI barracks) - DH used to work out of SP Brentwood when we still lived on LI & I went to visit him A LOT...hehe

I know what you mean about getting a drunk. There have been many times that DH gets a DWI at like 5 or 6 a.m. & then had to work OT b/c of all the tests, processing, & paperwork. It's happened when DH gets a car-deer accident too - b/c then he has to wait for DOT to come & remove the deer from the Thruway...yuck! There have been a few times where the deer isnt quite dead but all the legs have been broken so DH had to put it down...he said that's actually one of the hardest things he has to do on the job b/c he hated having to hurt an animal - but when it's in that bad of shape & suffering so badly, you kinda gotta do what ya gotta do

Anyway, Ive really rambled on here. Just wanted to let you know you're NOT alone & FM me if you have any ?'s or just need to vent!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

deleted

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

you will get used to it... my FH is NYPD and has been for over 5 years now. I have not spent one new years eve with him but i am with family so it is ok... he works the midnight shift so i know i won't have him around at night but he likes that shift and he is happier having made a switch to becoming a cop versus the old job he used to have... don't worry everything will work out fine!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

Thank you ladies , you girls are the best! Tomlaur you have FM!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

---

Posted by futuremrsreilly

Thank you ladies , you girls are the best! Tomlaur you have FM!

---

?? I didnt get - try sending again.

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

My FH isn't the one with the crazy hours it is me. So I can relate and know how you all feel. I work as a nurse and work the overnight. When I work 3 nights in a row, like this week, Mon - weds night I will not see FH until Thursday. (Yay that it is Thanksgiving and he will be home when I get home, instead of Thursday night when he would get in normally from work!).

But the whole working holidays and not seeing each other for days drives me nuts at times. Last Christmas I had to leave Christmas dinner to get to work, I cried when I got into the car because it was my first year working on Christmas and leaving everyone.

I never regret going back to school to become a nurse, I love it and I know in time as I move up that seniority ladder I will get my holidays off too! In the meantime I try to enjoy the nights off I do have and actually waking up next to FH.
Just try to remember it will not be like it is now forever! It is only for now!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

I can relate and you are not complaining. FH is a police officer and is working this Thanksgiving and New Years. He got the week off for Christmas. I also tend to not see him until the weekends and we usually speak to each other when he gets out. At first, it was very hard to not see him and I would get very frustrated that I couldn't see him whenever I wanted to. As time went on, I learned to appreciate the time we do get together. Now we are moving in together, the situation is still going to be the same as he works the 4-12 shift and I work during the day. My advice is spend time with your friends and family and have a good time. It does get easier. You learn to roll with the punches and adjust. When your FH gets more seniority, he will get more of the holidays off.
HTH.

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

I was a former NYPD officer myself and will be returning back to NYPD in Jan. FH is an NYPD officer for four years so I understand how ladies feel with their FH in law enforcement professions. There are pro's and con's to the job. A lot of patience and understanding will be tested. This is expected if you marry and start a life with someone who is in law enforcement/firefighter/EMT city-related jobs. While DH will try to be there or make it to appointments and important events, it is not guarantee that he will get the day and will most likely miss it. For ex. DH will be working holidays- thanksgiving, xmas, and new years. I know the feeling all too well b/c myself and DH met in college and joined the police dept together. I got burned out at one point since I was working midnights (9pm-6am) and DH worked 4-12 tour (4pm-12am). There is a lot that goes on in the department that I will not comment on the board. If any ladies need advice or has questions/etc. feel free to FM and I will answer back. I will conclude that this is a bit of a sensitive subject. I understand the job all too well that cops have the highest divorce rate particularly in the NYPD. Being time apart, schedule conflict and overexhausting hours will take a toll on anyone's relationship. I think in the end if you love a person and you will stand by him/her through thick and thin, you'll find a way to make it work and not let the job get in the way of your marriage.

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

I know its hard sometimes when they are away from us My FH is FDNY and although I know he is safe, its hard being away from him over night and like you, there are times I will 3 days w/out seeing him. I just try to remind myself how ,much sweeter it is when he does come home and we see each other again. Feel better!

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

My FH has been a cop for 4years now you get used to spending the holidays alone and going to alot of functions alone....MY FH is only off a holiday every 3yrs or so but you make the best of it you know...Hang in there when he has more time on the job he can take off for a holiday every so often.

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

I totally understand what you are going through at first is was very difficult for me. FH and I used to spend a lot of time together. FH is NYPD Police Officer has been working as one for 2 1/2 yrs and his schedule is bananas.

Re: Ladies with FH's in Law enforcement?

I totally relate...DH is a NYC firefighter and his schedule is all over the place with the overnights etc. However, he does have alot of time off once he finishes his tours for the week. There are times though, where he is always working and it *****...Especially the holidays. Since we do not have kids he has to work b/c it is the right thing to do to give the guys that do have children, time with their familes. I just hope he gets re-payed when and if it comes time for us to have chidren. Eventhough it will be a great help since he will be home more than me once we have kids...I can't help but think about the nights alone with a new child when he works an overnight..