Lag time between ceremony and reception

I am starting to worry about the time between the ceremony, which starts at 3:15, and the cocktail hour which starts at 7. Since it will be a Catholic service, it will be about an hour. Drive time between the chuch and caterer is about 30 minutes max. This is great for us, because we have plenty of time to take pictures, but I am worried about what my guests will do, especially those who are coming in from Brooklyn, upstate or out-of-state. I am willing to pay to start the cocktail hour a half hour earlier. That still leaves almost 2 hours for people to wander Long Island and do what?? I took this is into account in the planning, but there was no way around it unless we had the ceremony onsite at the caterer. The church doesn't offer later times. Any suggestions appreciated.

Lag time between ceremony and reception

We have a long time between the ceremony & cocktail hour too. My parents are inviting people back to there house during that time (so folks that don't have hotel rooms or houses nearby have somewhere to go). Its not ideal, but that's how it worked out. I'm also considering going back to the house after the ceremony to take some pictures. Then the guests could watch us for a little bit and then we'd go the the park/beach whatever. Its the house I grew up in so I'd like some pictures there with everyone.

Lag time between ceremony and reception

I have a lag time between my ceremony and reception also. My ceremony starts at 1:00 and my cocktail hour begins at 6:00 and my reception hall will not let me purchase an extra half an hour. So my mother and FMIL will be having some people back to their house. Some guests who are coming from out of town may stay in their hotel room but other than that, I have nothing else planned. I believe people will figure out what to do. Maybe you can give a list of things for them to do or see in the area to pass some time.

Lag time between ceremony and reception

My ceremony is also a Catholic Mass and since most Churches have a 5pm general Mass, 3:00pm is the last time for weddings. My cocktail hour begins at 6pm. Since the Mass takes an hour, plus getting out of the Church some photos etc...I figure we will leave the Church at 4:30pm. That gives people 1 1/2 hours to do something. I am going to have my condo open for drinks and cookies for guests. I suggest asking a friend or family member to help you by opening their home for an hour or two. Tell them that you will purchase coffee, tea, water, soda and a few cookie trays.

Lag time between ceremony and reception

if you're having a large wedding and you're having a receiving line, this could also take about an hour.

Struggling with the same thing...

could you move your reception back by 90 minutes and have the ceremony at 6PM? (Some Catholic churches will do this) I think it would be nice to have no gap but if you have absolutely no other options - people will manage.

Struggling with the same thing...

Neither place will change the time, accept allowing me the extra half hour at the reception site. I didn't want to have everyone back to the house, as it is in the opposite direction of the reception, but that may be an option. Since it will be Sept., and hopefully nice weather, we can have an outdoor drinks and cookies hour on the patio.

Struggling with the same thing...

I got married in October and my church was at 3 and my cocktail hour started at 8. I was flipping out about it, but there was nothing I could do. By the time we got out of the church (I had a full mass) after the receiving line, pictures, etc, it was about 4:30. Plus I asked our immediate families to be at the hall by 7, so that we could get all the family pictures out of the way before the cocktail hour (and I didn't want to leave the room during the reception, which I didn't). Some people went back to my parents', but most people went back home, showered, dressed, and went to the reception hall later on. I know you're going to worry about it, but there's nothing you can do -- the church has one set time and the hall has another. And I'm sure you've been on the other side and had a gap to fill when you were a guest at a wedding. Honestly, as a guest, I liked the big gap so that I could go home and relax, shower, etc., instead of going to the church all dressed up and either sweating or getting wrinkled or whatever. Don't worry about it! You'll get some comments from relatives (I did), but you CANNOT PLEASE EVERY ONE and the most IMPORTANT PERSON TO PLEASE IS YOU AND YOUR FIANCE!! Remember those words, they are so very true! I spent more time flipping out over what everyone else wanted/thought, I started to forget what we wanted! And it all turns out ok! (And trust me, you'll get sick of hearing that one too, but it is so very true!!) Good luck (sorry this is so long)!!!

Struggling with the same thing...

My fiance has a very big family many of which are coming from Italy and will have absolutely no idea what to do. As his parents are renting a truck limo to accommodate all of the out of towners to from church & reception, most people will wind up going back to his house for a little bit while we go to Old Westbury Gardens to take pictures. I have been to weddings of other family members with his family before where everyone went to the groom's house and it was a lot of fun. They had light food prepared, wine and music. It was really nice and the time went by really quickly. I have also been to weddings where the bride and groom paid for a limo truck or bus to help out as well.

Struggling with the same thing...

Someone posted about the same exact thing about a week or two ago (if you do a search you will see other responses). Not sure if it makes you feel any better but there are alot of us going thru the same thing. My church is 3:00 (and I am not doing a full mass) and the reception is 6:30. My future in laws were giving my such a hard time about it and felt like calling off the whole wedding (it was that bad). Like bearsbabe_113 said, this is just how things work and it will be impossible to please everyone. I feel really bad about the time difference but there is not much I can do. You should not have to stress over something this little. People will find something to do. My future in-laws are considering seeing if the hotel has a conference room or something and having fruit and cheese platters. I have seen this done at a few weddings I have attended. I have been to soooo many wedings over the past three years and have been the guest in the situation and have always found something to do. Go for coffee at a diner, go to a bar and start partying, go to the hotel and freshen up, etc. One hall said told us this is a common situation and not too worry people will always find something if they really want to be at the church and reception! Also, you do not want to rush is your pictures. I plan on using this time to take my time taking pictures and have fun relaxing with my bridal party. I hear the night goes soooo fast why rush things? Good Luck.

Angie3 are you taking yor BP with you

to the Old Westbury gardens or will it just be you and your FI?? We are scheduled to go there as well for our pix and I do not want to be there too long, b/c I want to be a part of our CH, so I just wanted to hear what others were doing. Thanks

Thanks Bearsbabe...I know you are 100% right! *NM*

Bridetobe

I haven't told my FMIL this detail yet as she has had little positive to say from the start, including neither the church nor caterer is 'convenient' for her! I know what you are going through. To lighten my stress, I am doing the whole thing alone with my FI with little or no family input (my mother passed away and my father lives out of town), and the FMIL has done nothing but raise my blood pressure. Seems people don't realize it is suppose to OUR day, and not for their convenience, thus my anxiety about this whole thing. Sometimes I just sit down and tell myself I am doing the best I can.

Diana L.

It is sooo true. One she started giving me grief (as soon as we started looking for halls) I wouldn't book a hall until my fiance talked to her and told her exactly that. (She actually had me in tears one day!) This is our day and we love our families and of course we keep them in mind when we are looking at stuff but she has to let us do it our way. (Plus we are paying for it 100%). I had to stop it before it got worse. My fiance at first made it worse because he told her yes to anything she wanted even things we had no intention on doing so when we didnt do what she said of course it was me and my family's fault. I had to stop this before it got worse. Since then she has been a lot better. I can actually see her biting her tongue. I try to keep her involved by teling her what we are up to when we speak. I can tell she doesn't agree with everything we do but she has for the most part taken a back seat. She wants a show for her friends and forgets it is our wedding. Not to mention that is sooo opposite my personality. I am not into being showy. She's not happy the location(she wants a NJ wedding). She also doesn't realize that we both work jobs where we put in a lot of hours and planning this wedding is not the only thing going on in my life!!! Wish you all the best.

Lag time between ceremony and reception

I, too have a lag between the Catholic Mass and the reception. My fiance and I have decided to have a ''Hopitality Room'' set up at the hotel. We''re renting a suite in the hotel where we''ve reserved rooms for our guests. We''re setting it up with food, drink, etc. One of our good friends is responsible for ''manning'' the room (keeping it stocked, door open, etc.), and as a ''payment'' he can stay there that night. Those staying in the hotel will find out the room # w/ their gift baskets when they check in. We''ll tell other guests about the room # on the receiving line, and we''re already telling people about the fact that we plan on having a ''hospitality room'' for the lag. I''ve been to a few weddings where this was done, and eveyone loved it. Plus, there is no pressure on the parents.

Lag time between ceremony and reception

Don''t stress over it, like I said. My church was in Queens and my reception was at the Sand Castle (Franklin Square). Plus I had people coming from Jersey, Brooklyn, Long Island (Coram and further), Upstate -- all over the place. There was no way I could please all of them, but they all found something to do and somewhere to go and nobody complained (at least to me on that day -- LOL). You''re getting married the day before my one year!!! Where is your reception? I wish you all the best of good luck. Enjoy it and I know you''ve heard it before, don''t sweat the small stuff (and the big stuff) -- it''s all out of your hands and you have no control at some point. Everything turns out fine and you''ll find that on that day, you don''t worry about a thing! I had panic attacks (I hyperventilated on the altar saying my vows) and all kinds of stress meltdowns before the wedding, but it all turned out just fine. It was pouring the morning of my wedding, which would have set me off, but it didn't even phase me!! (I swear, I felt like I was having an out of body experience that day because I was unusually calm over most things, except when I pulled up to the church and then I lost it!) But the sun came out and it turned into this gorgeous day and you wouldn''t even know it had rained! My limo driver told me the balloons flew away and I was just like 'whatever' and that normally would have set me off BIG TIME, but I could care less that day. Once again, I''m babbling away -- sorry! I''ll shut up now!! :-)

Oh, and you're welcome Diana L. !!!! *NM* *NM*

Bridetobe

YOu hit the nail on the head: they want a 'show' for their friends. My FMIL wasn't happy because we aren't having it at a country club. She went so far as to talk to her boss, and have her boss 'sponsor' us at HER country club!! We already booked Coral House and she knew IT! I would like to keep her in the loop, but every time I try, she says something mean, so I am cutting my losses and not bothering. She can ask my FI for the info she needs. I cannot allow her negativity to bring me down anymore. Unfortunately, she hasn't learned to bite her tongue, despite my FI talking to her. If you ever need to vent, feel free to email! [email protected]

VMarie...good idea!! That may be a definite option! *NM*

Bearsbabe

We are having our reception at the Coral House. I have already started having strange wedding dreams...I wish I would have one where everything worked out fine! I know that by the end of next month I will be in better shape planning-wise and will feel better about everything. Thanks for all your kind words!