Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
AlisonMT
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Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
This has been on my mind so I wanted to toss it out and see what you all thought. We asked FI's aunt to be a reader at our wedding. She was so excited she cried. Next thing we know, FI gets an email from her saying how much she wants to do something special for us (as if reading isn't!) and she wants to throw us a 'shower' in Allentown, PA (where she lives).
This struck me as rather odd. Why would FI's AUNT throw US a SHOWER? My mom already has one planned for May up in NY. And what obligation do we have to go to PA?? She is a wonderful, wonderful lady, and I know this is very well-intentioned, but we also have the sneaking suspicion that she is doing it, in part, because FI's family in PA wants to see us and is not planning to come to the wedding because it's 'too far' (??) and on a Sunday night. He's not that close to that side of the family, except for this aunt, who we already know is coming, and originally said it's not something we should pursue and that we could just say 'thanks for such a lovely thought, but your being there and reading at the church is gift enough for us,' something along those lines. I agreed, especially since, with my classes, insane work schedule, trips up to NY, and all the other stuff we need to get done for the wedding, traveling to PA doesn't seem to be top of the list.
Now, all of a sudden, FI has changed his mind and is upset with me because I want to turn his aunt down on her offer. Help!!
dubliner
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
While it was a nice gesture, I don't think its necessary. If you don't want to go, donn't . But I understand there might need to be a comprimise, can they change it from a shower to a BBQ in the summer or something?
Sassy
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
A shower in PA??? Why should you have to go there for a shower???? I don't understand people. I am NOT traveling for my own shower !!!
AlisonMT
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
That's EXACTLY how I feel, Liz. I am ALREADY traveling for my shower, because I live in DC and my mom is having the shower in NY. As it is, I am back and forth to NY (roundtrip is 500 miles; min. 5-1/2 hr drive each way) at least once a month. Plus I have all sorts of stuff to do down here, between invites, dress fittings, etc. Not to mention work and school! I can't imagine taking another weekend out to travel to Pennsylvania!!! I mean, it's a nice gesture but...Argh!!
Sassy
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
Exactly Alison !!! Nice gesture or not, comon now..... Why doesn't she just send a very nice gift or come down for the one you're already having?
Anniegrl
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
That's a sticky situation to put someone in. She's just trying to do something nice, but it's putting you in a tough spot because you don't want to hurt her feelings. Now, if you LIVED in PA that'd be a different story. So just tell her that it was real sweet of her to offer but because of traveling, school, your busy schedule, etc, etc, you just can't make it. Having her attend your wedding is special enough.
fleeflee
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
I think you've got it right that the rest of the family is probably trying to bow out gracefully. Hey - at least they're making some effort to see you and, more importantly (heehee), shower you with gifts! That's more than a lot of my out of towners are doing! My wedding is a sunday evening also, so I guess I understand if everyone can't make the trip. I say GO!
HappyEverAfter
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
My FMIL and FSIL are throwing me a shower in upstate NY, 5 hours from my house. I agree its an annoyance to travel, but I think its a very nice gesture for anyone to offer to throw a party to celebrate our wedding. I honestly would never have even thought about not going, as some of FHs family is not going to be able to make it to the wedding, but still wants to celebrate w. us. After all, they are going to be my family too, and I cannot think of a 'nice' way to turn an offer of a shower thrown for you down without seeming ungrateful. JMO.
reallybehind!
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Re: Last post of the night: what do you think of this??
i have no idea what i would do in this situation, but i just wanted to ask alison if you've ever flown home instead of driven? i live in dc also and will only fly now b/c the drive is so horrible. southwest flies from bwi to islip for usually very cheap prices (under $100 roundtrip, which when you think about gas, tolls and time wasted is a good deal) and their frequent flier program makes it super easy to earn free flights. i've already earned four and used them to fly cross country! okay i sound like an ad now so i'll stop but i just thought i'd suggest it b/c it sure is easier than driving esp since you're going home so often.
