let down about MOH (long)

Previously, I had a tough decision deciding who would be my MOH- my best friend, or my closest cousin. Since my BF is married and pregnant with her first baby girl, some of the girls on this board suggested having my BF as Matron of Honor and cousin as MOH. Ok, so I asked my BF and she was happy, but she kind of assumed that she would be. She said she would be honored. YAY. Ok, so my cousin emails me and I email her back asking where she is so I can call her (to ask her to be MOH) she says she is on her way out and doesnt have time to talk, I say it'll only take minute...then she says her cell is in her car, wait 15 mins for her to leave her moms....well, I left work and my cell was over in mins. so i couldnt call her...she tells me to 'CHILL OUT. I said 15 minutes!' So, I get pissed,decide to wait a couple days to cool off, then call on Christmas Eve. Cousin sounds half asleep...but no, she sprained her ankle so was on pain killers and was all dopey. Funny how the week before she had a migraine and was also half asleep at 2pm...then I call again the day after Christmas...and once again, she is half asleep and says this time she got thrown from her horse and sprained her shoulder and bruised all her ribs and was on pain killers...notice a trend here? So I decide to go ahead and ask her and her response was 'sure' in this groggy voice. I am regretting this. The girl is obviously addcited to pain killers and anti-depressants (last month she said she had her doctor increase her script due to depression) Do I tell her mom? A family member? I am concerned for her. She has been there for me always and to tell her NOT to be in it would hurt her, but I don't know what to do....

ETS: I guess I was expecting a better reaction and for her to take this more seriously....

Is she always unreliable? Has any other family members noticed a trend with her?
I can tell ya one thing, I posted this on another thred, but I lost a few friends after I got engaged, we want people who are genuinely happy for us..its sucha happy time!!!
If you decide you dont want her in the wedding, you can always just say you are downsizing the bridal party? Im sorry you are going through that..its hard i know!

She has mentioned to me that she is dependent on pain killers. For the last 5 yrs she has been constantly taking them for 1 thing or another, It's like every other time I talk to her, she is injured somehow and is on these painkillers. She had gotten fired from 1 job after another and sleeps all day. She is DEFINITELY depressed and it's getting worse and worse. 2 weeks ago she called me hysterical crying....
I have to call her and talk to her tonight and just tell her how I feel. It's just hard to talk to someone who is ALREADY upset to begin with.....

BTW..you look like someone famous..I cant figure out who though!!

Just wanted to say good luck and offer

Thanks, Alicia....I was actually thinking of telling her mother, but her mom is a little looney as well...still, it's her mom....my cousin is FAMOUS for being unreliable, late, not showing up, and always some major tragedy as to why. It's never just 'I overslept.' It's 'I was driving down the hwy. and hit a cow that bounced off my windshield and caused me to swerve into this ditch and then...blah,blah,blah'

BTW: a lot of people have told me I look like that girl from Unhappily Ever After...Nikki Cox

Me too, whenever I see your picture you remind me so much of one of my friends from college.

What does her parent's say? Are they concerned?

this could be something rather serious i would tell her parents -
sounds like she has a real problem

I am going to call her mom...after work...when I have time...which could be a month from now if I'm lucky.
I am going to talk to her as well....do I take the 'tough love' approach, tell her she's out of the wedding unless she gets help, or go easy on her, tell her she can still be in the wedding but she really should get help?

PS: you know, there are some people that just have a familiar face I guess, because I can't tell you how many times people tell me I look familiar! I get it everywhere I go. My friends tease me and say I was adopted and was part of a set of quintuplets...

thats excatly who you look like!!!!
your cousin needs help if she is addicted, pain killer addiction is serious just as are other types of addictions..I wish you so much luck!!!! You are in a tough place!!!

I dont know what approach you should take..but if she is as unreliable as you say, maybe tell her your concerns that you love her and want her as part of your wedding but that she has been very unreliable and its scares you..
The girl you look like is on Vegas now, right? Must be nice going through life lookin like that!!

you do look famous...i think its' your smile - it's very friendly and welcoming.

about your problem though....i htink you need to sit down with her and let her know that you're worried abou hter. and tell her mother that you're worried. this could be a serious problem and if she's depressed, knowing that someone cares enough to say something could make a huge difference.
or it could backfire and she could distance herself. but either way - she'll know that you're concernec and yo'll know that you did what you could.
my brother had a serious drug problem about 7 years ago.....it took a lot to get him back on track, but knowing that he had supposrt from his family helped him a lot. the change has to come from her...but maybe you can give it a jump start by getting her to start thinking about help.
Fm me if you ever need to talk.
good luck

I wish I could sit down with her...she lives in FLORIDA! It's so hard to just get her on the phone....
but I will definitely call her tonight to talk.

Thanks everyone for all the advice, I feel better about telling her mother.

Good Luck! Let us know how everything works out!

Neesiepie, you've got forum mail!!

I'd be worried about her and I'd confront her. I'd also talk to her parents and not say 'she's addicted' but just ask if they think that the doctor she is going to might be putting her on too many painkillers.

A family member that I'm very close to has an eating disorder. I had to try to figure out the best way to talk to her about it and it was very hard. She didn't admit it, but I noticed that after our talk she started to eat more normally and her weight improved.

Good luck.