It seems like most of my closest friends and family members have at some point done something to really upset or hurt me in the last year. I almost feel like some of them (in particularly one (ex) friend) is truly trying to make it so when I look back on this wedding planning, I have terrible memories. It upsets me so much... I am trying so hard not to be sensitive and not to care, but I do. And it hurts. I dont know if she is jealous...crazy or what... Are any of you having similar issues? Is it true that when we are supposed to be at our happiest others are always trying to bring us down?? I deserve to enjoy my wedding and the planning of it! I cant stand some people! err. ha.
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
I experienced the same thing with my MOH. When I first got engaged, I called her first and she was very bla. Then when she saw my ring, her comments were ' It is exactly what you wanted' Then a month later, she found out she was pregnant and just got married last weekend, so now she is better. I don't know if it is because she did it first, or what, but it really upset me when she was like that. Now she is great! I would say it is probably just jealousy. Is your friend married or engaged yet?
failurebydsign
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
it is no secret over on the 08 boards that i HATED wedding planning based on people and the way they treated me
i was a happy bride the day of and enjoyed my day
but there a a few people because of things that happend to me during planning process that i no longer speak to and dont plan on it until they apologize to me
i TOTALLY understand
and from past expierence
dont let anything ruin your planning
its supposed to be a fun time and i wish mine was more
the only times i was having fun was when i was on here
azailia
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
i totally know what you mean...
one of my friends STOPPED talking to me, because I didnt get to tell her i got engaged... someone else beat me to it.... she thought i did it on purpose...
another friend (who i was considering to me my moh), never returns my calls anymore... needless to say... she isnt in the wedding party... she doesnt even know i picked my girls!
its really weird the way girls behave.. isnt it?
MrsH09
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Oh as soon as I picked my bridesmaids...all hell broke out. Let's just say I now have one maid of honor & a best man. Just think of it as a time where you learn who your real friends are. I had an ooooold friend from highschool who I didn't speak to until she found out I was engaged. She's planning her own wedding, and she jumped in head first to help me with planning. I txt her a million times a day and she always answers. My 'friends' on the other hand, I'll call them and if I say something about the wedding it's like I cursed, they immediately change the topic to them & about how they are going to plan their wedding and then they proceed to tell me all the horrible things they think about my wedding plans. I say you only get married once, so you only get to plan this once. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Sure take your moments where you stress, and want to pull your hair out, and after that just remember why you're doing this in the first place. Don't allow them to steal your joy. I know it's going to fly by but be sure to enjoy your day also. I keep joking that I'm going to have bummer bodyguards...anyone that's a bummer will be asked to leave. LOL. Don't take it so hard.
PegaLega
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
YES!!!!!!!
I had this issue, when I look back at wedding planning all I can think about is how everyone felt it was necessary to tell me their opinion-and I dont mean on whether they liked my dress, etc. I mean things like why friday? WHy CB? Why is there such a large gap between ceremony and reception, etc.
Consider it alot of things-jealousy being A #1 reason for most of it. People always want to make you feel bad about your decisions when they dont know if they could do the same, when they dont think they will ever have it. In todays age alot of things are about money-this hall is more then that her wedding has to be better-that kind of crap...try your best not to let it show that it hurts. Just cock back and be prepared to fire.
The day of you will enjoy the helll out of yourself and no one can take that from you-no matter what they say now or later
Eternalyyourz
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Posted by MrsBtobe2009
I experienced the same thing with my MOH. When I first got engaged, I called her first and she was very bla. Then when she saw my ring, her comments were ' It is exactly what you wanted' Then a month later, she found out she was pregnant and just got married last weekend, so now she is better. I don't know if it is because she did it first, or what, but it really upset me when she was like that. Now she is great! I would say it is probably just jealousy. Is your friend married or engaged yet?
nope.. no where near it. And is still living with her mother because she cannot get out of debt... I think it is jealously but I still cant get over how mean & b*tchy she is. I need to get over it!
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Don't let it get to you. She will probably snap out of it and realize how important of a time it is for you and maybe she should be supportive. My friend finally has, but again I think it is because she is now married and realized all the things I did for her for her wedding and shower.
Eternalyyourz
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
I knew there would be other brides out there that understood me. It seems like no one else in my 'real' life does at all other than my FH- but at times he thinks I need to suck it up a little. I know I will get through it and I am trying to ignore them all and I will def. enjoy the day (and the rest of my life married to the man I love!) But it just hurts to find out the true colors of the closest people around you!
jaep129
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
I feel your pain!!! Me too! Three of my 'Friends' cant make my wedding for reasons. I am hurt b/c I thought we were friends. I have been hearing you see who your true friends and family are during wedding planning. Smile its your day and you deserve a great one. We all do!!!!
Vineyard72509
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Wow!!! And here I was thinking I was the only one who was experiencing a 'crazy' ex-friend problem... I mean seriously, harasment, lies, badgering, the works!!! You name it, its been said to me... Not like I would wish this on anyone, but its alittle relieving knowing that I'm not the only one (bride) who is dealing with this...
I am so glad that there are so many other caring people in my life who are out weighing this one negative. Try not to let it get you down too much. It's really not worth your energy
Vineyard72509
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
unfortunately, Its times like these when we realize who our true friends are ~ even if it hurts
AndRecKy
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Posted by Serendipity1141
unfortunately, Its times like these when we realize who our true friends are ~ even if it hurts
yep-isnt that the truth.
SusiBtoM
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
My only sister was a downright ***** during all my planning but I didn't let it bother me. I was planning MY wedding and doing it MY way. At one point I did tell her that I was 40 years old and she was not my mother.
I realize now that she was the way she was because for once, she was not the center of attention. But, my sister did herself some irreparable harm by being rude to my MIL, never said hello to her or acknowledged her in any way, and by making snide remarks to my husband. Puts me in an awkward situation with my very small family - it's only me, my dad and my sis, my niece and nephew and BIL. My sis has gotten a lot better now that the wedding is over, but how do I get my husband to let the past be the past ?
curiousgeorge
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Just keep your head up and stick up for yourself...its the best thing ive done for my own self! Im so lucky to have the girls I grew up with, we are more like sisters..and there is the reason why one of my girls felt she didnt fit in! Sometimes people can become, attention greedy and jealous. I realized in the past year that those people exist more and more. Sometimes when people arent happy with themselves...especially if they want to be married...just like you...they get all wierd!! Ive seen it with the same girl twice in two weddings..alls she did was talk bad about everything.
poopikins
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
LOL! I could write a short book about all the rude things that people have said since I got engaged:
- We are getting married upstate. I have gotten many, many complaints about this...someone even suggested that I cancel my reception upstate and have the party on LI where more people can attend (we are having a party in Hawaii where the groom is from..how much travelling do I have to do for this wedding?!)
- I have gotten rude comments about FI's employment situation...he is looking for work and temping in the meantime.
- I have gotten comments about the types of alchohol I am serving/ the types of flowers I plan on having/ including hotel block prices in save the dates.
At this point, I am don't care anymore. It bothered me at first, but I don't care - if they want to come, great. If not, that's fine too.
espo722
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
One thing I've seen while planning is that people for the most part all think the world revolves around them, and they truly cannot see (or don't care) how their actions are hurting you. While you may be sitting home stressing out about what they said, they don't give it another thought. So if I could do it over again I would only invite the few people that really care about me and FH. Pick and choose your battles and try to take the high ground whenever possible. But you're right to expect that for one flippin' day people that 'love' you revolve around you and focus on you. They may be invited to many other weddings, but you may not have another one where you are in the white dress.
MrsMorgan
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Wow...I didn't realize so many others are having the same issue. This process definately showed me who my true friends are and I have to say a couple of people will get cut off after the wedding is done.
Eternalyyourz
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
Posted by AndRecKy
Posted by Serendipity1141
unfortunately, Its times like these when we realize who our true friends are ~ even if it hurts
yep-isnt that the truth.
Yup that is true! Thanks so much girls for letting me vent- I feel a bit better! And for all you girls that got a chance to vent too---I hope you are starting to feel a bit better as well!
Good Luck girls!
LoveRocks
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Re: let's hurt the bride....
I only had a MOH and 2 BMs in my BP. 1 BM is barely speaking to me and really hasn't since the bach party. I haven't heard from the other BM since November. I got an email that she was having personal issues and I never heard form her again. She never even RSVPd and I have her BM dress taking up room in my f-in closet. The wedding was over 2 months ago and no word from her. I've made many attempts to contact her and I never get a response, so its time for me to let go.
Weddings really bring out the best and worst in people and frienships.
