LI WEDDINGS!!!! Can you help us? (Girls please read)

Hahaha

This is the funniest thing I've read all night:

Wedding Forums > Rules
You are entering the LIWeddings.com chat area, bulletin board service forum. Long Island Weddings, Inc. does not control or endorse the content, messages or information found in these areas and, therefore, Long Island Weddings, Inc. specifically disclaims any liability with regard to these areas.

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Posted by Baldshrimp

From what I understand one vendor I went to works with LIW to have negative post taken out. And monitor very closely.

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How untrue! First , there are over 4000 new posts per day. No way to monitor them all let alone closely. No vendor works with us to monitor any postings.

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Posted by palebride

This is what the rules state:

Wedding Forums > Rules

.......... you will not:
Defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights of others.
Publish, post, upload, distribute or disseminate any inappropriate, profane, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent or unlawful topic, name, material or information. .....
.

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A negative review about your FIRST HAND experience with a vendor does not do any of these things.

I agree and I think that what we are acutally all looking for is the definition of defamatory . Or, the definition LIW uses in order to determine whether or not a thread/post should be pulled. I understand that they have to cover themselves and I bet it's not an easy decision to make all the time. It seems to me though, that it's easier to pull a thread when that line is blurry than to take the chance of getting sued, or risking the posting bride getting sued, for defamation.

Maybe if we had available to us the guidlines LIWeddings uses in determining whether or not a thread or post should be deleted we would be better equipped to post our honest and factual experiences without or with lessened risk.

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Posted by NYCHICK

A negative review about your FIRST HAND experience with a vendor does not do any of these things.

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And that is why you will find many of them on the boards. They are not removed!

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Posted by LIWeddings NYCityWeddings

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Posted by NYCHICK

A negative review about your FIRST HAND experience with a vendor does not do any of these things.

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And that is why you will find many of them on the boards. They are not removed!

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Very confused B2B here. Please tell us what does get removed so we have a clear understanding of our boundries. So we cannot say anything disparaging about a vendor???????????????

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Posted by NYCHICK

Very confused B2B here. Please tell us what does get removed so we have a clear understanding of our boundries. So we cannot say anything disparaging about a vendor???????????????

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Here are some general so called guidelines. Remember, if you have questions please ask us. I have seen many ideas, concerns and comments posted that are totally off course.

1) If something is slanderous in nature it is removed. (i.e. - posting do not use, stay away from etc) Posts like that could grant you a day in court. So, they are removed to protect you. They also do not help a bride-to-be to make any kind of proper decision. Post the facts!

2) Repeated posts about some negative aspect. Okay, this one is under interpretation but I'll explain it the best I can with an illustration. A bride is not satisfied with a particular vendor. So, she posts about her experience (this should be done on the review board). We are fine here. But every time she sees someone mention this vendor she gets on her soap box and brings up the situation or simply posts FM. Here is where she can get into trouble. This can be viewed as stalking a vendor and could get her into legal trouble. People use the review board to do their research. They will find your comments and contact you if they have any questions. As I stated this one is under interpretation. So, if we feel it is getting out of hand we will handle it.

3) Posting negative comments and or review about a situation that you had no part of. Example - I once heard that someone was not happy with that person/vendor. This is total hearsay and again has no bearing on helping a bride.

4) Person that STARTS a thread asks for the entire thread to be removed. Or someone asks for their individual post to be removed.

5) Quite frankly the Brides Help Brides board is for the planning of weddings. So, if something is not wedding related it can be removed. If you have general comments about things use the NWR board - that's what it is there for.

6) I almost forgot this one. We remove the drama threads.

Also, if you have questions you would like to ask us please send us an FM. There is no way we can monitor some 3000 - 4000 new posts per day. That is why some questions may appear to go unanswered and why some things that should be removed appear that we are leaving them there. Remember, this site is here to help you. That's the reason it was started and exists today!

All The Best!

PS-I can't believe I ended two sentences with prepositions. I'll try to be better with my grammar, okay?

1 - I get it and completely agree
2 - I absolutely AGREE
3 - AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!
4 - I don't understand
5 - ditto!!
6 - Please explain what consititutes as drama

thanks nikki

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Posted by NYCHICK

4 - I don't understand
thanks nikki

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There have been brides that have contacted me and have asked that the thread they started could be removed. So, we remove it. It is their thread, right? We do not post a message saying so-and-so asked us to remove their thread we just do so. And of course everyone then thinks we are up to something. This also holds true for individual posts.

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Posted by NYCHICK

6 - Please explain what consititutes as drama

thanks nikki

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Oh boy! This is very open ended but I think everyone knows what is drama and what isn't. That's why some will post, 'more drama'. But, as an example if a thread turns into heated bickering it's gotta go. Imagine coming to the site trying to do your research through the threads and you keep coming up with my father can beat up your father. We need to keep to the business of planning weddings. If it's not wedding related put it on NWR.

4 - Removal by request. I got it.

6 - Does it mean that as long as it is not on the BHB board then it is find to have a 'heated debate'( notice my anti-inflamatory words there ) then it is ok?

Am I annoying yet Just trying to get all my ducks in a row.

ps - Could you please fm me and let me know why MY thread was deleted in regard to these rules.

Thanks
Nikki

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Posted by Ophelia42

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Posted by Baldshrimp
From what I understand one vendor I went to works with LIW to have negative post taken out. And monitor very closely.

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This is why I am finding it hard to believe things here now. I initially was thrilled to find this site - all of this info with real life opinions! But now I see that posts that detail problems with a vendor get removed, while the good stuff stays, making it look like a vendor that may have problems is perfect in everybody's eyes.

I don't know what I can believe anymore now. I guess I'm glad I figured this out early in my planning rather than later.

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I heard the same thing and it's terrible. I also couldn't agree more. It's not right or fair, but it is clear who is sharing the money with whom. It's also obvious that the brides' best interest isn't what's most important to this site. It's all about pushing a specific vendor and ignoring the real problems a future bride should be made aware of.

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Posted by sunnydays
It's also obvious that the brides' best interest isn't what's most important to this site. It's all about pushing a specific vendor and ignoring the real problems a future bride should be made aware of.

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I am sorry but I strongly do not agree with you. While I don't always agree with LIW, they are trying their best and walking a very fine line. They have to keep us happy as well as the vendors. They do care about their brides and they do care about their vendors. This is a business, but if you are here long enough you will also come to see that for a lot of us this is like family.

The vendors which some of you are not speaking kindly of (AND THIS IS A GENERAL STATEMENT), do try to help us as much as they can. They offer opinions and advice as well as quotes. Case and point- Stan Wiest, I didn't use him, I had already booked my band before coming on the site, I started having concerns about my band. I asked Stan's opinion and for his advice. We went back and forth over several FM's. Did he get paid for this NO! Did he get a booking for this NO! He did this simply-because he is also here to help! Did he have to do it absolutely not! Will I recommend him now, absolutely, but he got NOTHING FROM ME, except my complete and total GRATITUDE!

Yes, sometimes it is confusing why things get deleted and you don't always have to agree but you do not own the site, you do not pay a fee, for this site, so you do not make the rules. Ron and Liz are very caring individuals. They go out of their way to put together GTG's for us, add places for us to 'virtually' hangout here LONG AFTER our weddings are done. If they only cared about the vendors why would they do that. I don't think that many of the Newlyweds will be booking a band soon again.

Sorry just my 2 cents

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Posted by sunnydays

I heard the same thing and it's terrible. I also couldn't agree more. It's not right or fair, but it is clear who is sharing the money with whom. It's also obvious that the brides' best interest isn't what's most important to this site. It's all about pushing a specific vendor and ignoring the real problems a future bride should be made aware of.

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Oh how far from the truth this is. Like I said, if you have a question ask us. No one pushes any vendors but the brides themselves. Look at the many official so-and-so threads. You have never ever seen us push a vendor. Nor will you ever. There are many vendors with different styles, personalities etc. It's up to you to make your own decision. And like I stated previously - post in your review the facts of your situation. It will be found.

Oh, I forgot one other thing that may be deleted. When someone registers a second profile for the purpose of causing trouble. Now, sunnydays is a second profile for another bride. Thus far there haven't been any problems. But with this recent post it could go there. I certainly hope not!

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Posted by NYCHICK

4 - Removal by request. I got it.

6 - Does it mean that as long as it is not on the BHB board then it is find to have a 'heated debate'( notice my anti-inflamatory words there ) then it is ok?

Am I annoying yet Just trying to get all my ducks in a row.

ps - Could you please fm me and let me know why MY thread was deleted in regard to these rules.

Thanks
Nikki

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Getting annoying - close but not there yet!

Heated debates that have zero to do with wedding may be deleted. Depends on the thread and should not be on BHB.

Would love to FM you about your thread but I don't know what thread you are speaking of so please FM me and refresh my memory, okay?

I agree one humdred percent everything should be wedding related!! This is a happy time not a time for drama u work so hard for this one special day!!

A negative review about your FIRST HAND experience with a vendor does not do any of these things.

Precisely....FIRST HAND.

I have to say, although I really did not want to get involved in this conversation, alot of the recent drama & counterdrama has been from PASSED on information & opinions formed from OTHERS' experiences.

To start with - I feel that first hand information is exactly that - information, and that should be the purpose of this board.

Secondly, vendors on here know that any website with a chatroom has the potential to backfire every ince and a while. They chose to take that risk. Most of them need not worry because the quality of their product and their reputation usually supercedes one or two negative posts.

Thirdly, LIW does monitor this website. We do not own it, we participate in it, and unfortunately, as far as I am concerned they can edit as they see fit, unless we, as anonymous posters, are protected by freedom of speech provisions, which I do not know if we are.

We all know the rules before we post, or have access to them. Unfortunately sometimes we disagree & sometimes we post inappropriately.
I think in the end this site is way more helpful to brides than it is hurtful to anyone.
JMHO

my father can beat up your father

Very cute!

BTW.... my bridal attendant can beat up my father....

My $.02
I had a vendor opinion.. it was removed because I was a little irrate about them (Bridal Reflections Carle Place)
This was a FIRST HAND experience of rudeness.

I FM Ron and asked why my thread was removed.. he told me. It wasn't that I was posting an honest opinion it was more an issue with slander/liable (I forget which is which).

So once he got around to replying to me..

I reposted. SAME opinion just more 'objective' use of words. I will continue to say my own PERSONAL exprience with Bridal Relfections was EXTREMELY bad.. they were in my own opinion rude and caused me to feel uncomfortable as if I didn't have enough money to waste their time on. They could use lessons in customer service. I feel they were very short, curt and needless vague about their handling of bridesmaid dresses and I would NEVER recommend them to a soul.

Apparently That's ok.

As far as other posts go.. like the long who's lying about who is or isnt really getting married at what imaginary or real location.. I must admit those have a habit of festering for other reason than to single out folks that others can then FM Ron and say 'see .. they said' and it's completely out of context.

'Keep it bride related' I understand for BHB, but I don't get the same applies to NWR (which by meaning is NOT WEDDING RELATED). Now there I'm confused.

thank you for the clarification LIW!