Life as an Assistant
A co-worker of mine forwarded this to me and I thought it was too funny (and in some instances, rather true). I'm an Admin. Assistant for one of the Business unit President's at my company and wanted to share this with you all who can relate:
Life as an Assistant:
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4pm and then bring it in to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If its a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how I am doing. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of paper, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a parapalegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.
5. If you give me more than 1 job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.
9. I was born to be whipped.
10. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
11. Never introduce me to people you are with. I have no right to know anything. I am plankton in the corporate food chain.
12. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
13. Tell me about all your little problems. No one else has any and its nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good director.
14. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goal SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
Sorry so long girls..thought it was funny though![]()
Life as an Assistant:
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4pm and then bring it in to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If its a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how I am doing. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of paper, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a parapalegic and opening doors with no arms is good training.
5. If you give me more than 1 job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.
9. I was born to be whipped.
10. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
11. Never introduce me to people you are with. I have no right to know anything. I am plankton in the corporate food chain.
12. Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
13. Tell me about all your little problems. No one else has any and its nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good director.
14. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goal SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
Sorry so long girls..thought it was funny though
