Listen to what FMIL did NOW

R&J0806 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:17 AM

Listen to what FMIL did NOW

FH has a childhood friend, Brian, who he was THINKING about inviting into our wedding party. He doesn't speak to this guy very much...in fact, I have never met this person and I've known FH for 8+ years. But his groomsmen are his decision so I'd never comment on that.

So on Saturday, FMIL asks me if Brian is in the wedding party. I told her that FH hasn't asked him yet and that he actually wasn't sure if he wanted to. FMIL went on about how the wedding party is uneven (I've got 6 girls, FH currently has 5 guys) and I told her that it doesn't matter to me and that FH doesn't care either. So FMIL says, 'Well, I've already told Brian's mother (who is her friend) that Brian is in the wedding party.'

WHAT????? Can you please tell me why she thinks its her place to do that? I mean, her son was only THINKING about asking this guy and had not done so yet. She calls her son to talk to him about it and he hangs up on her. She doesn't understand why.

Now, I told myself that I'm not going to get involved with this. It's not my decision nor is it my battle. But the thing is, FH is a very quiet, non-chalant person and I have a feeling he won't open his mouth to his mom and tell her what she did was inappropriate and unacceptable.

angnick Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:20 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

oh boy that was very inappropriate..

i think u should try your absolute hardest to let fh handle this one..

sarahradio5 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:21 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

Wouldn't 'Brian' think it's weird that his mom has to tell him he's in the wedding party, when your FH hasn't even asked him yet?

What NERVE of your FMIL! I can't even IMAGINE! Just take a deep breath.... it's not the end of the world. I'm sure Brian isn't assuming he's in the bridal party until he's officially asked by your FH. I hope! How weird!!!

CLMon7906 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:28 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

That is appalling. I might have to disown that woman if she were my FMIL. (hee) What if your FH decides to ask 'Joe' instead???? Now Brian thinks he's in! Way to go FMIL, way to go!!!

mskittynj Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:34 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

WOW, that is MESSED up! I can't belive she had the guts to do that. It is not only innapropriate I think it's right down disrespectful. If your FH won't say anything to her and I were you I'd DEFINETLY say something. It is def. not her place and she should know about it! Good luck!
XOXOXOXO
Kitty

ChrissynRicky Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:36 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

Posted by robynlevy

Now, I told myself that I'm not going to get involved with this. It's not my decision nor is it my battle. But the thing is, FH is a very quiet, non-chalant person and I have a feeling he won't open his mouth to his mom and tell her what she did was inappropriate and unacceptable.

What she did was inappropriate and unacceptable, but honestly, this isn't your battle to fight. I'm sure if FH did have a problem with it, he would speak up about it.

You honestly can't fight his battles for him, especially when it comes to his mother and family. Otherwise it's going to build bad blood (if it's not already there) between you and them.

In the end, they are 'his' groomsmen, and it's not going to affect you directly.

Blu-ize Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:38 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

Funny I don't recall you asking your FMIL to take care of planning your wedding for you.

She needs to be told to stop planning your wedding.

mrsh2b Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:40 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

Hmmm...I think I'll stop complaining about my FMIL right now! I can't believe she had the audacity to do that. Who the heck does she think she is?

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 17, 2006 09:48 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

TOTALLY inappropriate of her to do!!

suven Posted: Apr 17, 2006 10:27 AM

.

Bridex100 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

The neverending problems caused by MILs.

I wonder if they exist to make us unhappy!

ali120206 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 10:41 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

That was wrong of her to do.

Did she not have a big wedding when she got married? It sounds like she's trying to have her perfect day or something!

Although this is another thing to add on to the extremely long list of things your MIL has done to drive you nuts, you definitely need to have your FH fight out this one though since it's his childhood friend and his side of the wedding party.

roxyspark Posted: Apr 17, 2006 10:58 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

That is a tough situation, but please have FH take care of it right away.

I had a similar situation with FMIL and our ring bearer. The thing is we weren't going to have a ring bearer, but FMIL assumed we did and asked the kid's parents if he could be in the wedding.
FH had to let them know that no children were going to be at the wedding.

TheBigDay Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:17 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

That is terrible! That is why i tell FH to watch what he says to his mom cause she changes stories around to be what she wants!... she would have done the same thing! Fh and I are not even sided, off by one... it is not a big deal... Good luck

Goldi1021 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:20 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

It is often very hard for men to stand up to overbearing mothers. Sometimes they just want to keep the peace. You obviously are not bothered by the uneven nature of your bridal party (personally I don't see why anyone would be bothered by it but thats my own thing) so there is no reason for her to be. Perhaps she used the 'uneven-ness' as a way to cover herself because she opened her mouth. Your FH needs to stand by the decisions that you two made as a couple. If he doesnt do that now, then it becomes harder in the future. Mommy isn't number one anymore.

JazzyT Posted: Apr 17, 2006 11:20 AM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

O wow , very inappropriate

ellebelle1 Posted: Apr 17, 2006 01:20 PM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

When I read this I actually laughed because of the absurdity of this woman. What nerve!!!! OMG. Who does these things? Honestly, she needs a kick in the a@#

JPand TT Posted: Apr 17, 2006 01:27 PM

Re: Listen to what FMIL did NOW

Wow...that is terrible. My MIL is obsessed with the wedding party also. She is constantly bringing it up. Now I just change the subject because I'm tired of listening to it.