Living Together

shoegal68 Posted: Mar 19, 2007 10:40 PM

Living Together

For brides getting married in the catholic church. Do priest ask you if you live together? Is it true they won't marry you if you do?

I am catholic but don't go to church as much as i should. Honestly, if we didn't move in together, i don't think we would be getting married. He lived with his Dad and when we met I lived with my parents. So it every night we would go back to our respective homes. Pretty awkward to sleep over my/his house. I eventually bought a co-op and he moved in a year later. We rarely saw each other because of his crazy hours. I don't regret living together as we got to know each other pretty well BOTH the good and bad. So its pretty safe say we both know what we are getting into. I rather get this getting to know ALL about you over before getting married.

july06bride Posted: Mar 19, 2007 10:45 PM

Re: Living Together

We lived together, we got married in church... my priest has known me since I was a child, and knows my mom well, there is a BIG chance he knew we lived together, but he didn't ask and we didn't tell

Luvbsb4eva Posted: Mar 19, 2007 10:46 PM

Re: Living Together

My FH and I don't live together, however... when we went for the initial meeting with our priest he never asked us anything like that. I was so nervous before the meeting too that they would ask us personal questions, lol... He seemed very layed back about everything and was just happy that we were in love with each other and wanted to get married in the church. I don't know if he was just an exception, or if all priests are like this though!

gaccrrm Posted: Mar 19, 2007 10:48 PM

Re: Living Together

My FH and I live together. Our priest did ask if we lived together, but it didn't go further than that. I know that every church is different though. Every couple in my pre-cana class lives together. I really wouldn't worry about it.

Mdolph6 Posted: Mar 19, 2007 10:53 PM

Re: Living Together

I am catholic and we got married in a catholic church....My Priest never asked us anything about that......but one of my friends who is also catholic when she was getting married (in a different church from me) the priest she wanted would not marry them because they did live together...she was able to get married in the church still but that priest would not marry her...

SO I dont know maybe it depends on the priest or the church....sorry I know that its not much help.

shoegal68 Posted: Mar 19, 2007 10:53 PM

Re: Living Together

Thanks guys! i am a worry wart by nature.. My FH never legally changed his address for a variety of reasons. It hasn't even been a year. I don't even think he knows my address by heart!

I just can't wait for the initial mtg to be over,. I am sure in this day in age they are used to many couples that live together. I really am all for it. it has nothing to with sex. You really get to know somebody when you live with them. Thats why i did it....so there will be NO surprises.. what you see is what you get!!

lb9977 Posted: Mar 19, 2007 11:22 PM

Re: Living Together

I live together with my FH. When we met the priest we had to fill out a form and my FH went first and then when I had to go I said my address was the same as his. All he said was oh that's okay very good. Be honest don't lie. The church isn't going to turn away anyone who wants a church wedding.

portjeffbride Posted: Mar 19, 2007 11:46 PM

Re: Living Together

don't lie.....

FH and I, when we registered as parishoners, registered as a couple with one address at our church. When we approached them to marry, they were fine with the fact that we lived together. They were much more heavy about being married before... (neither of us have been)...

So, if either of you were divorced, then it will be more of a challenge. Living together is common place these days... don't worry!

shoegal68 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 05:59 AM

Re: Living Together

the weird thing is when i called, i told him we were not registered with the church. he said thats ok. I went to church because i was looking for the priest that married one of my friends. He is nice & easy going. So hopefully he won't give us a hard time

Just in case in the unlikely event i have a hard time finding a church... is it too late to book the ceremony at the RH? did i have to book it when i booked the reception?

Hopefully i am worrying for nothing

rojerono Posted: Mar 20, 2007 07:15 AM

Re: Living Together

I live with my FH. I have 2 children with him. Each time I went to the church to discuss Batism for my sons, they asked me if they could marry us too. They didn't seem to mind that we not only LIVED together, but that we were clearly having SEX.

In fact, I was in our new parrish discussing religion for my 5 year old and it happened to come out that I was getting married to their dad in May and they were asking if I would consider being married at the altar so I could continue to complete my sacraments.

No worries there.

jteach711 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 07:38 AM

Re: Living Together

we live together and our deacon asked us for our address and when we had the same one he said, 'The church doesn't normally agree with that, but its your decision'. So we could tell he wasn't happy, but he wasn't gonna not marry us b/c of it.

kimNanthony Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:21 AM

Re: Living Together

When we met with the priest we didn't tell them we lived together and he didn't ask. We gave them our parent's addresses so they were different.

BubbasBride Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:23 AM

Re: Living Together

I am almost done with my precana, and out of the 8 couples in my group, I think me and FH are the only ones that don't live together!!

The church is very aware that nowadays people do live together before marriage. As far as I can tell it has been a non-issue for the couples in my group.

Don't stress about it!!

DanNette Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:24 AM

Re: Living Together

FH and I don't live together so our priest saw our different addresses and didn't ask.

But when my brother and SIL got married they lived together when they met with their priest. The priest suggested they move out until the wedding, but acknowledged that that was very unlikely. They were married in the church, but given a little grief.

Kara and Todd Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:37 AM

Re: Living Together

They didn't ask, but we didn't offer the information. We did give separate addresses - I gave my parents' address b/c they are the ones who live in the parish.

They cannot refuse to marry you if you live together, but many priests will want to discuss it and will probably ask you to live apart until the wedding.

ETA - I'm sure there are a couple priests who *might* refuse to marry you -- but it's not grounds for the church refusing to marry you!

hmv12 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:40 AM

Re: Living Together

I think it all depends. Fh and I having been living together for a while and the priest never formally asked us. When we did pre-cana, the couple who taught it said it was not a big deal. I don't think they can actually say we will not marry you..

Kara and Todd Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:42 AM

Re: Living Together

Oh, I should add I was SOOOOOOO nervous about the first meeting with the church. (Do a search, and I'm SURE my posts will come up - haha!) It wound up being NO big deal!!

AMGBride2008 Posted: Mar 20, 2007 09:47 AM

Re: Living Together

He didn't ask us if we lived together but it was obvious when we put down the same address.

Look at it this way... if the church denied every couple that lived together, they would no longer be in the 'wedding business'

Good luck!