Just a random question, but this is my new stress right now....
how many of you guys live with your fiancee? It's come up as a way to save money but I'm totally freaked out about the idea....does it 'ruin' things -- as in the day after your wedding/honeymoon you return to the same place you've been?
I know I sound ridiculousy cheesy but it's my new stress -- and you girls have gotten me through my other stresses so far!!
misswitty
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
My FH moved in with me in May - we, too thought it would save us money... then he lost his job. This is what we fight about ALL the time... but every situation is different. If it wasn't for the money, it would be GREAT!
mrsjpc3
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
we have lived together now for 2+ years. We love it - I think its a good thing to do,, to kind of iron out the kinks before you get married. We know what pi$$es each other off, like leaving his shoes and hats everywhere... dirty dishes out, and stuff like that. I would recommend living together first, if you are able to. I dont think it spoils a thing. Its just like being married..... and if it will save you $$ for you wedding, that is even more of a reason.
sophisticat13
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
DH and I only moved in with each other after we got married (I'm a little old-fashioned). But, we also had our own homes before we met each other so in a way we didn't feel the need if that makes sense?? I think that living together or waiting until after the wedding is an individual decision. There are advantages to both living together before marriage and to waiting until after marriage...one advantage is that you save $$ and you don't have to learn to live together after you get married which can be stressful But one disadvantage is (IMHO-I don't know if anyone else thinks this and I don't want to offend anyone) is that after the wedding, you go home to the same arrangement and it doesn't feel like you got married as much because nothing about your living arrangement has changed. At least this is what my friends who got married after they lived together have told me.) I also think it would be very stressful to learn to live together while simultaneously planning a wedding. One of my friends did this (I had advised her against it- I told her live with him way before OR after the wedding planning is over) and she almost called the wedding off because she was so stressed out from learning to live with her FH and plan her wedding at the same time (they're married now).
Make your decision carefully and good luck to you
PrincessBride09
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
FH and I are moving in together Dec. 1st. I will let yoy know! Personally, we are very excited about living together. We are working on furnishing our apartment right now and we are having so much fun picking things out together!
111508Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We have been living together for a little over two years. I don't feel as though it will ruin anything...but that is just me. We actually bought our house, and were engaged four months later.
I think you should do what you want....but I do agree with a previous post...it does help to get 'used' to eachother before being married.
mosh424
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
we don't live together yet, we still live with our parents so we can save money. we won't be living together until we are married, i think it is something special that we are really looking forward to!!
lila
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We moved in together a week after getting engaged, but it was planned 6 months in advance of that. wasn't stressful at all! we knew all of eachothers bad habits from living in the same dorm in college, and sleeping over a lot, so it was just really wonderful.
i admit things werent that different after we got married bc we came back to the same routine and same apartment, but it was really nice to have one less thing to worry about (moving AND planning a wedding). we're probably moving in the next year, so then it will feel different -- plus, the name change feels different!
i wouldnt do it just bc of the money though, make sure you are ready!
MrsList09
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We live together and it's way better because we get to see each other every day. I'm staying at my parents' for a couple nights before the wedding so we won't see each other except for the rehearsal dinner and then we're staying in a hotel the night of and Sunday night in the city becuase our HM isn't until a month later.
Stephlover817
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
DH and I lived together for 4 years before getting married. It definitely does work out all the kinks and we feel it didn't ruin anything. When we first moved in together we bickered a lot because we were very different but now we hardly fight. We have learned how to deal with eachother...lol!! I am all for it especially if it saves money!!
Reymiliz
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
IMO i think the bestthing to do is move in before the wedding .. you learn a lot of things some that u may not have known about FH ...and it gives u a chance to experience what married life would be ... and if it doesnt work out ... u save money on getting a divore ...lol
Oh and its a good way to save money
Felice917
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We dated for a few years, then moved in together before we even got engaged. The first 2-3 weeks were an adjustment period, but we absolutely love it. We get to be closer and get to know each others little habbits. Everytime I thought I figured out his habbit that would drive me crazy, it turned out that I only loved him more. Knowing all the little things is what makes each relationship different and special. Just remember to communicate clearly and always respect each other. I would say do it as long as the wedding is more than a few weeks away, that way you get to adjust before you get down to all of the last minute planning.
CloudNine
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
although i think it is great to have the new experience of living together AFTER you get married i think there are a lot of down sides to that
lets face it...nowadays the divorce rate is sky high and if you can prevent it in any way then i'm all for it. FH and i moved in together after only 5 months of dating, it was an adjustment but now its over 2 years and we have conquered that hurdle. its just one less thing for us to worry about.
we joke that after we get married everything will be the same since we already live together but it wont be. as husband and wife i think there is a whole new whirlwind of feelings that we'll be going through
in the end it depends what works for you but i personally wouldnt marry someone i didnt live with first
Renee77
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We moved in together just about a year ago. It wasn't making sense for us to be paying rent individually since we were always together. I ended up getting laid off from my job about 2 weeks before I officially moved out of my apartment. It would have been really difficult if I had to pay my rent by myself. So it all worked out for the best. We got engaged this past May. It gave us the opportunity to save some money and we're actually in the process of looking for a house!
I used to have mixed opinions about it but, I am happy we made the decision to move in together before getting married.
Gracie821
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We have lived together for 2 years now, and I love every minute of it. It does save money, but it is more than that, it made us 100% sure we are ready for marriage. I do not think it will ruin anything for when we are married, because that will just be the next chapter in our lives! I would totally recommend living together first, it is just another way to bring the two of you closer! I hope I wasn't too cheesey here!
KPetekie
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
FH and I bought an apartment together before we got engaged (around February). We also live with one of our best friends from high school. (We all know each other from high school and other than freshman year, he and I went to the same college). I kind of feel like the learning to live with each other thing kind of happened for us during college since we were always together then so it was easy to transition into living together. After we are married, as long as our friend still wants to live with us, she is welcome to. We are really social people and around having others around so we don't feel smothered by it in the least. We will be together 9 years by the time we are married and we feel like we have there rest of our lives to live alone together so we might as well enjoy the single/married combo (living with a roommate and having a significant other). It just works for us. Anyway, the way I feel about getting married is that I hope nothing changes after. I hope we still hang out with our friends just as much and still do fun things on weekend. I don't want to be domesticated or anything like that. In my opinion, you get married because you like your life so why would you want things to change. So, living together before is just getting a jump start on starting the life you want early.
wundmoretime
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
We lived together for 2 years before. I understand what you are saying and I think there can be a difference. But my dad once said to me 'you have to try it before you buy it'. Sometimes there is an adjustment to living together and it can be difficult. Some people have found they are not compatible after living together. It will let you know if you can. It takes compromise. The money saved is a huge added bonus.
wo0shply
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
FH and I just moved in together in June, its been a struggle since hes use to living alone but after we got use to it its been really good.
dont be worried, just remember it takes getting use to.
ttdiff11
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
we have been living together since december. i always thoguht that id never move in with a guy until we were married, but that went out the window lol. im soo glad we did though!!
FallBride2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: living together
I have the same fear of nothing feeling different after the wedding. FH and I have already been living together for 3 yrs...and just bought a house. By the time we get married we will have lived together for 5 yrs! I'm tempted to move out a few months before the wedding. LOL
