living together

Re: living together

FH and I don't live together, and a large part of the reason is because both of our parents are very old fashioned and roman catholic and do not support us living together before marriage. also, my parents are paying for our wedding and would not be if we were living together. FH & i talk about it often, and although we become very frustrated when we have to separate, we know that we have come so far and decided to do it the way our parents want us to. we respect our parents and want to do the right thing by them. we are so excited to live together after we are married- it will be starting a whole new part of our lives, and we'll be experiencing something new for the first time-- together.

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We've lived together for almost 3 years. We love it. We've dealt with a lil speculation bc we're active in our church, but we deal. We've loved every second of it. And we're only in a guest house on my parents property, so whenever I don't feel like cooking I can still enjoy the comforts of mom's cookin'!

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I've been living with FH for almost 3 years now and I think it's actually good because you get to know someone on another level and see if you can really handle that personality day in and day out all the time. It's a good test and I'm happy I did it early on.

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We lived together in an apt for 2 yrs...loved it
& we just moved into our new 4 weeks ago SUPER LOVE IT!! Yes, it's a little backwards, but I wouldn't change a thing!

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Me and FH lived together for almost a year before we got engaged, and for us, i couldn't have imagined doing things any differently. Granted, we had a diff situation from most (we went from a pretty long distance relationship to seeing each other every day) and it definitely took a few months to work out all the kinks, but i think it all worked out perfectly. Having been long distance for so long, we really needed the time together in close proximity to get to know each other better and see all the little things about the other person you never see when you don't live together (i.e. good/bad habits, personality flaws/quirks).

I think it can be a really great thing b/c then there's much less chance of any bad surprises after you do get married (like wondering why he's encouraging the dog to jump into bed with you when you're not a dog-sleeps-in-the-bed type of person). It's really more of a personal choice about what works better for each couple but i for one, def thinks it helps, not hurts, the relationship. The only real question it leaves is if things will feel different after coming home from the honeymoon...same lifestyle, different titles

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we are moving in together on 11.15..so excited...i dont think it ruins things...the night before I plan to stay at moms house though...wont spend the night with fh....lol

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the fh & I have been living together for 2.5 years... i love waking up to him everyone morning and going to bed to him everynight... For us its been such a learning experience...

Re: living together

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Posted by Reymiliz

IMO i think the bestthing to do is move in before the wedding .. you learn a lot of things some that u may not have known about FH ...and it gives u a chance to experience what married life would be ... and if it doesnt work out ... u save money on getting a divore ...lol


Oh and its a good way to save money

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i agree - its a good way to see what life will be like - kind of a glimpse into the future - we've been living together for a few years....i dont think either of us would have felt comfortable enough to get engaged/married without living together first, its kind of like testing the waters....

everyone is different though - i dont think it has any negative effect on the wedding - i think coming back to our home after the HM as newlyweds will still be exciting - i do think that it would be slightly stressful coming back from the HM and living together for the first time - especially if neither one of us lived on our own before, for some reason the thought of that would scare me which is exactly why we are already living toghether ....every relationship is different, for us, i think being newlyweds will still be amazing and i dont think coming home will be any less exciting - right after the wedding we'll have our first xmas and new years as husband and wife - i am so looking foward to that! i dont living together beforehand has put a damper on any of it......

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we've been living together since before we got engaged. i needed to make sure we wouldnt kill each other after getting married. we know what pisses the other person off and what doesnt. it was very important for me to really get to know the person before getting married.

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I used to think 'old fashioned' and believed that things would not be special after getting married for the same reasons that someone pointed out earlier. I had moved in with my FH maybe 4 months to the wedding (my mom was so upset). But the only reason I did it was because he lived one block from our job and I used to get home around midnight from school so it was easier on me being I could wake up later than usual...sssshhh don't tell DH I really didn't experience the whole 'married life' until we got married because I would always get home in time to go to bed and wake up and the same routine would start. We got married in June so during my summer vacation we really got to experience the married life and experienced getting to know each other...in the 'living together sense.' I guess, if you guys really need to save money and moving in together is the solution than go for it!! I also went back to my mom's house 2 nights before the wedding. Then again the stresses of life never made us feel as we were really living together.

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FH and I do not live together. We are saving money in the meantime, and i think its something special that i have to look forward to after the wedding! I guess i am a bit old fashioned. I don't have worries about living with him though, i have been with him 6 years now and we have gone away together so many times that i am sure i will be able to put up with his little quirks when living w/ him lol

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DH and I moved in together before we were married. We were getting married in march and my lease was up in May. So I didn't want to sign on for another year in the city cus then I'd have to worry about finding someone to sublet or worry about getting out of it early. So we moved in together. I also didn't want to worry about finding an apaprtment around the same time as the wedding and honeymoon. That would have been too stressful. So for us, moving in together was the most practical thing. I dont think it ruined anything, but had I had grown up around here, I prolly would ahve waited till after. It just wasn't possible in my situation. Do what you think is best for the two of you!

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My FH and I are living together and have been for the past two years. We are debating whether to move into a new home after the wedding or stay here untill we get pregnant...lol But its not bad at all i mean its sooo much easier on the both of us.

Re: living together

i didn't get to read everybody else's replies (because there were so many of them), but my own personal opinion on the matter is that I definitely did not choose move in with my FH before the wedding. I actually had considered it because we have a long distance relationship and neither of us could handle the separation any longer. We thought maybe I'd move there and save money for about a year before we get married, but then as i thought of it more and more, i just began to hate the idea. I want everything to be fresh and new and exciting after we get married. I personally feel like it does ruin something when couples move in before the wedding. Like you said - afterwards, they're just going back to the way it always was. And i know that for me, when I GO to a wedding, it always seems so much more special when the couple is FINALLY able to be together. When I'm at a wedding where they were already sharing the same house/apartment, it loses a piece of the romance. It almost seems like they were already 'married' now they're just making it legal (which loses the excitement I'd normally feel for them). So, i dunno. Don't get mad at me for feeling that way, it's just my opinion. But living together before the wedding seems to spoil something special people could of had.

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it all depends on what works best for you and your situation.. DH and I couldn't possibly live together even if we wanted to but it was great to come back to our apt, our new home.. just us.. everything new.. it's really exciting and it still is.. we feel like grownups..

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I think it totally matters on how you view the wedding/marriage, for people living apart from their FH it's the beginning of a whole new way of life, living with a guy and sharing everything, and for people living together already it's more about the commitment to each other and taking the next step in the relationship toward being a real family. For me, I moved in with FH last year and we won't be getting married until summer of 2010. With law school, FH teaching, a part time job, and all that fun stuff, we wouldn't ever see each other if we didn't live together. It does feel like we're married a lot, but in the functional ways, like sharing bill paying and he picks me up at night from work. When FH proposed to me over the summer, it was because it was all about the commitment, which I think is nice in a different way. We could have gone on living together and not married but instead he is saying that he loves living with me as a family and wants to do that forever. So it's special in its own way. And yes, I'm sure that the after the wedding period isn't the same for people who have lived together prior to the wedding as people moving in together for the first time, but I think that's just about timing. When I moved in with FH, it was totally exciting, and the wedding will be totally exciting because we'll be husband and wife, the two things just won't be at the same time. There are total advantages to either way, but I can tell you that I don't think I will be disappointed because it's always a trade-off, I wouldn't give up the 2 1/2 years of living together before the wedding just so I have an extra exciting after-the-wedding period, I'll have a honeymoon and a husband, and I'm fine with that Also, we're okay with waiting a while for the actual wedding to save money and plan at our leisure with less stress because we're in no rush, our living situation won't change.

BUT - I totally respect the girls who do wait and that is a very special experience, the two are just different choices and either one is fine. It's a 'what works for you' kind of thing.

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It definitely didnt ruin things at all. We lived together 4 years before the marriage and I wouldnt have done it any differently. The topic of moving in before marriage is a difficult one because there are a lot of factors that play into it. Some people want to do it but take their parents feelings into consideration. Actually thats one of the biggest reason I see for some older people not living together. In my case, my mother is not traditional, nor is my father. My mother actually urged my sister and I to live with someone before marrying them. Actually, Im pretty confused when people who have been together a few years decide not to move in together (when they really want to) because of their parents. Isnt the problem the parents have because they think sex before marriage is a sin?? But a lot of couple although theyre not living together are still having sex, and Im sure parents know that So sometimes I dont get why some parents have an issue with their children having sex while living seperately or having sex while living together But thats my confusion with parents mentality.

Okay I just completely rambled on. Yes we lived together before, not it did not ruin anything. It was wonderful, we ironed out kinks that we would have had to deal with as a newlywed couple and I liked not having that stress of learning how to live with someone as a NW couple.

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We lived together for three years before we got married. Even though we had been living in the same place It still felt different after we were married. It was also good because we ironed out all of our kinks before tieing the knot.