for those of you that are living together and getting married in a RC church, did you tell the church that you live apart?
DaniandKen2010
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Re: living together?
Nope, we told the priest we live together and he had no problem with it. He was more concerned about either us having been married in a CH before because divorse is a no no.
JeanetteandMatt
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Re: living together?
At our church, the priest never came out and asked if we were living together. When asked for our addresses, my FH gave our current address and I used my parents. I think that's your best bet because some churches will not marry you if you live together.
Summer Bride 2011
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Re: living together?
FH and I live together; however, our mail gets sent to our parents homes..
dee1984
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Re: living together?
My priest asked us to put the address/addresses we wanted our mail from the church to go to. Never asked if we were living at that address, etc. I think a lot of priests have the don't ask/don't tell mentality.
Saying that, I did put my parents address, since that's where all my wedding mail is going to. He put our address, since the priest said all the mail would go to my address anyways (pre-cana info, etc.) HTH!
FutureCap
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Re: living together?
FH was not allowed to move into our new house until we got engaged (out of respect for my parents and sicne i sold my co-op for the down payment I wanted the full commitment first) We met with the priest while he was starting to move things in and told the priest we have bought the house and only I was living there and he would live there after the wedding. I used the house address and he used his parents!
FH is actually so scared of the priest and his or my church finding out (we are getting married at my parents church but doing pre cana at his) that he will not change his address on anything until after the wedding!!!
jonie523
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Re: living together?
we currently do not live together, but are planning to soon (before the wedding). When we had our first mtg with the priest, we were discussing the differences between a ceremony and a mass. He basically said if you live together, we really don't want you to have the mass, but the ceremony is okay. I do not know what we're going to say when we go back in may. We're planning on having a full mass.
FutureMrsG
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Re: living together?
We used the same address and were not questioned.
FutureMrsLMS
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Re: living together?
We met w the Deacon of FH's parish and the church where we are to be wed, and we told him we shared the same address.
He said ordinarily some priests would make an issue out of it, but he said he was pretty cool with it (he is very modern!)
Corinne Ann
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Re: living together?
well ... they were giving us a hard time bc even though we do go there every sunday and both our parents were married there and we were both baptized there.. we werent registered parishioners... meaning we dont put our donations in an envelope so they can track it.... then when we met with them the first time they were so strict and gave us a list of rules!
We decided we better LIE.... hahahaha they didnt out right ask us but they asked for our address... we gave our parents addresses!
FutureJOC
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Re: living together?
Posted by dCa51899
Posted by FutureJOC
I'm struggling with this too. We have not met with the priest yet but I am up in the air about whether or not to lie about living together. Problem is, the only people I knew who have gotten married at my church by the same priest didn't have this problem because they were not living together beforehand.
FH says we shouldn't lie and that if the priest has a problem with it than we will find someone else, but if I am getting married in a church I would really like it to be my church (if I had my way it would be getting married on a beach somewhere on a tropical island).
ugh i know, i don't want to lie, but if we don't and its a problem, then i'd be pissed. like someone said above, its a white lie, right?
I actually just realized that an old friend of mine just got married recently at my church and I know she lived with her husband beforehand. I just FB messaged her and asked her what she did and she told me she lied and said they didn't live together but about 2 weeks before the wedding I guess the priest asked for an address for whatever reason and she told the priest that they recently got an apartment together so they can start moving stuff in before the wedding.
I am most likely going to just lie because she had the same priest as me.
Neeks
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Re: living together?
Posted by FutureJOC
I'm struggling with this too. We have not met with the priest yet but I am up in the air about whether or not to lie about living together. Problem is, the only people I knew who have gotten married at my church by the same priest didn't have this problem because they were not living together beforehand.
FH says we shouldn't lie and that if the priest has a problem with it than we will find someone else, but if I am getting married in a church I would really like it to be my church (if I had my way it would be getting married on a beach somewhere on a tropical island).
The priest will have a problem with it. He is going to tell you to seperate. I hear they will not marry you if you live together.. My mother warned us in advance that her priest was going to tell us to seperate until we are married.
Future Mrs P
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Re: living together?
We did. We are having a deacon who knows us and my family. We purchased a home over the summer and my mom told him one day at church so he kind of already knew.
Danielle41209
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Re: living together?
I don't recall if my Priest was upset that my FH and I were living together. My situation is that we live in Newburgh and my church is in LI. I think he understands it but it doesn't mean that he likes it. So far, everything is set for 2011. I just have to complete the pre-cana... HTH!
dCa51899
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Re: living together?
Posted by Danielle41209
I don't recall if my Priest was upset that my FH and I were living together. My situation is that we live in Newburgh and my church is in LI. I think he understands it but it doesn't mean that he likes it. So far, everything is set for 2011. I just have to complete the pre-cana... HTH!
we have a similar situation - we live in philly and church is on LI...
I'm thinking about lying, but then what to do about pre-cana?
tmcnair414
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Re: living together?
He didn't ask
Christine N Ralph
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Re: living together?
We told the truth...we live together...It wasnt a problem
GinaMike24
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Re: living together?
I am not getting married in church but all of my cousins have - some living together for years- and there was never a problem...you're paying them right?? lol
JessNicole7EM
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Re: living together?
I went to college in Newburgh.
I give you a lot of credit for planning your wedding long distance. I mean I know it is not that far but that must be difficult.
Do you still have family here?
ttdiff11
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Re: living together?
i never changed my mailing address so i used that and fh used our current address lol
