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Living with FH?

Original post by MillerFord742008

How is it? I want to live with my FH soooo badd. But we are trying to do the traditional thing. Plus we are like mentors to the youth in our church so we are trying to lead by example.

But I have like plans A B and C

A) Wait till after we're married and move in together

B) I move out of my parents house and find an apartment and he moves in after we get married

C) We move in together either the end of next year or few months before we get married

How do u ladies feel?
MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by beachbum05

hahahah kim!

I actually enjoy cleaning. Well, maybe that's stretching it. But sometimes its really theraputic for me!



I only like cleaning when I should be doing school work, funny how that works
AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by beachbum05

hahahah kim!

I actually enjoy cleaning. Well, maybe that's stretching it. But sometimes its really theraputic for me!



I get in these moods.... I just meant to wipe down the sink in the bathroom and then all of a sudden a half hour later the entire bathroom is spotless... I don't know what comes over me....
AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by LuvMyAlfonse


Posted by beachbum05

hahahah kim!

I actually enjoy cleaning. Well, maybe that's stretching it. But sometimes its really theraputic for me!



I do too - Nicole and PerfectPair - you can hire me!!! I'll even clean up dog doodies (I have 4)....



Hey! Jenn.... I'm the unemployed one! I'm very meticulous! Just ask FH!!! I do doggy doopdoop too!!!!
beachbum05 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

Jess and Kim - SAMEEE HERE.

My college roomates would ALWAYS know when a paper was due or I had a test coming up because I'd be scrubbing the cr@p out of the bathroom and taking a toothbrush to tiles!

Lately I find myself cleaning when I'm on the phone with people....it passes the time quickly, I guess....
SoontobeMrsH Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by LuvMyAlfonse


Posted by beachbum05

hahahah kim!

I actually enjoy cleaning. Well, maybe that's stretching it. But sometimes its really theraputic for me!



I do too - Nicole and PerfectPair - you can hire me!!! I'll even clean up dog doodies (I have 4)....



you have 4 dogs Can't wait to get another... I clean up Petey's when I walk him, nothng like being dresses for work, walking your pup, begging him to make
LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by perfectpair

you have 4 dogs Can't wait to get another... I clean up Petey's when I walk him, nothng like being dresses for work, walking your pup, begging him to make



4 does not = 4 times the fun. They're all little dogs. I call them the Rat B@stard Pack.
parkgirl212 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by eddies girl

as someone NOT living with FH - but KNOWS all of his annoying habits - do they go away or do you just get used to them?!

seriously - FH walks out of the shower and doesnt even grab a towel NOTHING just drips on everything and 'air dries' leaving a lake of water behind him. . . like who does that?!



yeah i dont live with fh but we have been together for 8 plus yrs so for all the girls that say living together is better before marriage....do u think it applies to my situation bc i dont see that


lol! ok well wherever you live, you need to make sure he won't rot the floorboards with his lake!!

i think you both change little by little until you find a comfort zone, but you can't expect the person to suddenly transform into the magical roommate/spouse if that's not who they were in the first place.

i come from a family of a billion divorces, so there was no way i'd marry someone without test driving the marriage first. my fh and i have been living together for about two and a half years (longer if you count the weekends he lived in my apt before that). we moved in after less than a year of being together...the beginning was tough for us, you are both getting used to each other and you both need to transition and decide whether and where there's a line. we don't go out much without each other, for example, and we usually don't visit our families without each other...but that's something we wouldn't have known to discuss beforehand so it could have been an issue for us.

on the other hand, my fh's brother was with his now wife for 10 years and they didn't live together before getting married. seeing some of the fights they had after they got married, i definitely think they would have been better off living together for awhile beforehand...i remember right after they got married, they got into a big fight and she called her friends asking if she'd made a mistake...probably something that they could have gotten out of the way if they'd lived together first.

i can tell you that no matter how long you've been with someone, nothing is the same as living with them...but i understand when people choose not to live together first, and i think the important thing is just to have realistic expectations and to understand that it will take time to get used to living together once you start. good luck!!!
TheFutureMrsM Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Nicole!! You keep your dog out of their way!!! That's so funny!!! My aunt did that too! She had a cleaning lady come while she was home too!!! You don't feel awkward?



Yes they come in, its a mom and her daughters.
I talk to them while they are getting set up. Then i go in the basement with my dog. and i talk on the phone the entire time they are cleaning. I come upstairs to check how its going every so often.

At first i felt bad, here i am sitting on my a** doing nothing, but this is what i am paying them for!!!
SoontobeMrsH Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

I feel so weird, like I straighten up before she comes so she'llnever know what I slob I am
MillerFord742008 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

FH's family got wrongly wrongly evicted from their home. So now he's staying with his friends. He doesnt pay ANY RENT! They told him they he can stay for as long as he could.

So before this all happened...I asked him did he want to move in with me...he told me NO because he always travelled with his baseball team and was never home and he wants to stay with his family. Now he's staying with his friends and I asked him again and he's like I dunno! So I said forget it.

NOW....I told him that I will probably move out into my own apartment next year...he started incorporating the word 'we' in with MY apartment. lol! The boy is driving me nuts.

The only problem I will have living with him is that he will ALWAYS have his friends over and I will always expect UNexpected guests over. I have nothing against his friends but he will find a reason for them to be over!
TheFutureMrsM Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by perfectpair

I feel so weird, like I straighten up before she comes so she'llnever know what I slob I am



I let my house get so bad, i always have to 'clean' for the cleaning lady

i dont really clean, just try to organize it so they dont think im a total nutcase
pov121 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

you need to set ground rules then before you move in together i told fh that that wasnt going to happen because this was our house and not a college keg party every night

SoontobeMrsH Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by TheFutureMrsM


Posted by perfectpair

I feel so weird, like I straighten up before she comes so she'llnever know what I slob I am



I let my house get so bad, i always have to 'clean' for the cleaning lady

i dont really clean, just try to organize it so they dont think im a total nutcase



At least I'm not the only one
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

i dont mean to highjack this thread but i just wanted to say something

i went to bed early last night and i woke up thinking :omg i hope no one was offended by my whole 'not living together' thread - i really was just explaining my personal reasons: and i come on and everyone is like so cool with everyone else on this board!

like hte girls living with FH are giving the girls who arent living with FH advice and stuff - and no one is saying 'wow you are stupid' or anything

thats just what i love about this board - sometimes i post on BHB and people are like sooooo against what i am saying - and they take everything personally - i sometimes just go back and delete posts. . .

i mean like if i write that i like a DJ - the next poster has to completely put down DJs or whatever and it is SO obvious they are just trying to go against what I am trying to say. . .

or just yesterday i posted that I wanted kids at my wedding and a few girls seemed to take it really personally like i was questioning their devotion to the kids in their family. . . and seriously - i wasnt thinking of anyone else, honestly i dont care what anyone else does lol

anywho - love this board for that!
SoontobeMrsH Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

that's b/c 08ers are teh best
Julybride08 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by AMGBride2008


Posted by beachbum05

hahahah kim!

I actually enjoy cleaning. Well, maybe that's stretching it. But sometimes its really theraputic for me!



I get in these moods.... I just meant to wipe down the sink in the bathroom and then all of a sudden a half hour later the entire bathroom is spotless... I don't know what comes over me....



I am the same way...usally 11:00 at night i start.
Julybride08 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by TheFutureMrsM


Posted by perfectpair

I feel so weird, like I straighten up before she comes so she'llnever know what I slob I am



I let my house get so bad, i always have to 'clean' for the cleaning lady

i dont really clean, just try to organize it so they dont think im a total nutcase



A friedn of mine is like this. She leaves early so she can get home before the cleaning girl comes...ha ha ha

I told her why don's you just finish cleaning and save your $$ then,
cherish83 Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

FH and I plan to live with our families until we get married. We plan on buying a condo a couple of months before we get married. His friend has agreed to move in with FH and pay rent and then move out a week or so before the wedding. 2 years ago, FH were seriously looking to move in together, but now with the wedding, i want to be more traditional and spend the first night in our home when we are married.

kellygirl Posted:

Re: Living with FH?

I have been living with my FH since September 2005 and it was the best thing we ever did! We actually fight less b/c we see each other more and luckily he is working days now. We also live in his GM two-family house, so we probably would've still been living at home if it wasn't for the the rent being so reasonable. And all of my friends who did the same, say that something does change when you get married, so who knows?!?!

PoeticJustice Posted:

Re: Living with FH?


Posted by MillerFord742008


Posted by PoeticJustice

I know what you mean about trying to DO THE RIGHT THING. We just moved in together in August right after we got enagaged and we are paying for the wedding ourselves so it is cost effective. We wanted to buy a home and doing this first was definitely more economical and will be more beneficial in the long run come tax time. Now we were torn of course: FI's father is a minister and my mother may she RIP was an Evangelist who raised me in the church. We are both Christian and we know we have to repent but in the long run we are trying to get married asap and make it right hence we pushed the date up from 09' to 08'.

So I say option B or C




See thats my situation my MOTHER is an Evangelist and I was raised in church and my momma feels as though when u live together of course ur sinning BUT she feels as though ur going to get pregnant after a while (she's southern). And she will ***** and moan the whole time.

On top of that my father passed last year and our house is paid for. But she will be here alllllll alone and I do not know how she is going to take that. We live in a two family house and I was hoping that her being afraid of living alone will make her offer us one of the apartments because she LOVES FH! But I dunno a part of me wants my own apartment even though its WAY Cheaper to live here with FH (she will not accept rent only payments in pocketbooks and shoes)




My dad passed away too and my mom moved from the North to the South after he passed and I was still in school so I did not livewith her and she wasok because alot of family was around andshe ran a Bible study group but I always went to visit her at least every @ months.

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