i know everyone has their own reasons why or why not. yesterday FH & i were at a BBQ & someone brought up the subject of living together before marriage.
so we said why we do, (FH's parents were not able to live together once they were married so it was important to him that we did). it was then asked, would you let your son or daughter live with someone before they are married?
FH said daughter no, but son yes. i was annoyed when he said that because i feel that sons & daughters should be treated equally. so i was just wondering what everyones opinions would be.
amandah75
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
FH has the same mentality as do my parents. It's such an old school train of thought. It was OK for my brothers to stay at their girlfriends homes or have them stay with us, but I was a wh*re when I did the same with my BFs. Oh the life of double standards. My parents informed me the reason for their belief was due to the fact that I could get pregnant and would bring the baby into their home where if the boys got a girl pregnant more than likely her parents would be the ones to deal with it.
For me, as long as they are in a LTR and she was treated very well, I would not have an issue with my daughter moving in before marriage. I wouldn't require a ring either.
christine2010
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
i agree 100% with you. besides if when i have a son he gets someone pregnant that would be my grandchild too & i wouldn't see if any different then if it was my daughter.
not only that i feel that is a parents job to teach their kids about birth control & obviously the consequence of your actions.
Alyssa79
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
i just feel everyone should before even considering getting married or a long term relationship. It is SO DIFFERENT when you live with the person than just seeing them or hanging out all the time.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
Posted by christine2010
not only that i feel that is a parents job to teach their kids about birth control & obviously the consequence of your actions.
Sometimes, even when you teach your children about BC, surprises do happen and the children should def be held responsible for their actions. But, to answer the question, I would have no problem with my son or daughter living with someone before they were married.
amandah75
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
Posted by Alyssa79
i just feel everyone should before even considering getting married or a long term relationship. It is SO DIFFERENT when you live with the person than just seeing them or hanging out all the time.
I totally agree. Living with someone is definitely different. Adds such a different aspect to the relationship. There are things that put stress on a relationship that you never even considered.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
While I'm glad FH and I decided to live together before, I also see the other side; FH's sister just got married and moved in with her husband for the first time and it is a wonderful experience for them. They couldn't be happier that they waited.
JenBill61210
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
My parents are old school as well (traditional italian parents) so i am not living with FH until after i am married, although i would have no problem if my own kids someday wanted to live with their significant other.
Nurse12985
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
We aren't living together. The biggest reason is because we want to save money.
My FH's parents are very old fashioned and do not belive in sex before marriage. They truley belive that we have never/ would never have sex unless we are married. She would die if we lived together because it would be basicly like saying 'haha we're def having sex before were married! Your beliefs are stupid because people in the bible got married at 13!'
FH and I let her think what she wants because it makes her happy.
grrulz
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
I totally agree with you I feel sons and daughters should be treated equally...In my case I won't live with FH before our wedding because my parent's are very old fashioned...also we are tryint to save as much money as we can and the best thing to do it is leaving home. I really feel when you have children you should treat them equally that way they are no grudges against parents
DWKSwed
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
I wouldn't care if my kids wanted to live with their significant other, boy or girl, as long as they were old enough (not right out of high school or anything preferably!!!!) but I mean, in their 20's would be no problem for me. The only concern I might have is financial, what if something goes wrong, etc.
I live with FH and I love it, my parents didn't care, his parents had a BIG problem with it and it led to a big fight but that was half the reason we had to move out on our own anyway. I would miss FH so much if we didn't live together because our schedules are otherwise not as compatible, and we're used to living together so it won't be so much of a shock when we get married. It's worked out for a lot of practical reasons. I can see the other side though and I don't get to get all excited if he's coming over, and I have less personal space, but it's always a give and take, you can't have it all! There's something very nice about building your home together and moving in together as husband and wife, it just wasn't our way.
CristinanBen2010
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
Posted by jenny8484
My parents are old school as well (traditional italian parents) so i am not living with FH until after i am married, although i would have no problem if my own kids someday wanted to live with their significant other.
I have the same type of parents and so does Fh so we dont live together but if my children want to, I would let them.
MrsL2010
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
I live with FH. My mom didn't have a problem with it, but FH parent's are not happy with it. They don't want him telling the rest of his family that we live together or go away together either. They are old fashioned.
mosh424
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
We are not living together before marriage mostly out of respect of my dad, but if it was up for me i think we would, but it doesn't truly bother me because we can save a lot of money this way
stinenandy2010
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
FH & I live together. My parents had a difficult time at first but now everything is fine. I think it was especially hard for them bc I am the oldest daughter.
I do think that sometimes parents are more overprotective of girls than boys. Its all in how you raise your children.
trophywife
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
FH and I moved in together last year, and got engaged this year. We had been long distance for a while so our parents were understanding. Also, we were both 25+ so it's not like we really needed permission or approval.
SummerBride10
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Re: living with FH before the wedding
Posted by Alyssa79
i just feel everyone should before even considering getting married or a long term relationship. It is SO DIFFERENT when you live with the person than just seeing them or hanging out all the time.
I completely agree with this! I'd be living with FH if we both could afford it. I dont think my parents would have any problem with it either.
