Long overdue....

Well, this has been a week from hell for me...

I just wanted to share with you all that my wedding is no more. I have decided it's just not the right thing to do at this point.
He has really said some nasty things to me that I can't forget and can't forgive. I have been pondering it in my mind for so long and I've finally been brave enough to do it.

I wanted to wish all you ladies the best.
I may lurk and post once in awhile if you all don't mind ;)

So, to add to all this depression of the no wedding business, I found out I can't have anymore babies. I'm grateful for having Hannah when I did... my health has detriorated so much over the past few years, the doctors have told me my childbearing years are over. I look fine on the outside, but between my Lupus, chronic hypertension (which they can't get under control), liver issues, and blood clotting disorder, I'm all screwed up. Doc feels I may be diabetic, but I'm waiting on the results.

I really feel like crying.... but for whatever reason, I can't. I guess I'm trying to be strong for Hannah. She's really not taking it well. I left her father 7 years ago when she was a baby. Several years ago I met Jeff and she knew we were planning a wedding and that one day he'd be her step-father. Tonight she asked why she won't have him anymore and what's going to happen to her 'grandparents' (his parents) UGH!!! I feel like dying inside....

I'm so sorry that this is such a difficult time for you. Please post whenever you need to.

I am so sorry you are going through all this.
If he wasn't right then you made the right choice. You have to take care of yourself and your beautiful daughter.
Of course we do not mind if you post.

I wish you well.


Hang in there.

I'm so sorry.

I am truly sorry for what you are experiencing both emotionally (for yourself and daughter) and physically. I hope you are able to make peace somehow and eventually find someone who will love you and Hannah the way you deserve to be loved.

I'm so sorry. I wish you and your adorable daughter all the best.

I am so sorry, hang in there, there are better days to come for you!

I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time!

It is better that you realized now that he was not the right one for you!

The most important thing right now is your health & daughter!

So sorry to hear. I'm sure no one would mind if you're still around.

I'm so sorry.

wow cynthina- thanks for opening up and sharing and let me just say how sorry i am that you have been through all this.

i know it must be so hard to leave a person that has been in your life for so long but if your gut is teling you its not right, then its just not right.

i am sure you are doing the right thing for your emotional wellness as well as your daughters eventually.

i am sure your daughter will grow to understand, and love any man in your life. and she will love even more the right one.

i wish you so much luck getting through this and being string. you will be just fine and remember that you did the right thing. a lifetime of being happy sure beats a marriage with a person that is not right for you.

i wish you all the best!!!

Wow Cynthia. I don't know if I should feel sad or proud. so many women stay in a relationship that isn't right for them because they lack the strength to leave. You, obviously, are not one of those people. You are an excellent role model for you daughter.

I know how difficult it is when children are involved, especially when they grow attached. it may be hard to explain to Hannah now, but she will eventually understand.

Please take care of yourself and your health and feel free to come on here anytime! DO NOT become a stranger!

God BLess you and your beautiful little girl.

Cynthia, you are an incredibly strong woman. You and Hannah will get through this, and you'll come out of it stronger than ever.

You're in my thoughts and prayers - and please stay and post whenever you'd like!

I am sooooo sorry I pray that your health improves and that you find happiness in your life....