Long overdue....

Well, this has been a week from hell for me...

I just wanted to share with you all that my wedding is no more. I have decided it's just not the right thing to do at this point.
He has really said some nasty things to me that I can't forget and can't forgive. I have been pondering it in my mind for so long and I've finally been brave enough to do it.

I wanted to wish all you ladies the best.
I may lurk and post once in awhile if you all don't mind ;)

So, to add to all this depression of the no wedding business, I found out I can't have anymore babies. I'm grateful for having Hannah when I did... my health has detriorated so much over the past few years, the doctors have told me my childbearing years are over. I look fine on the outside, but between my Lupus, chronic hypertension (which they can't get under control), liver issues, and blood clotting disorder, I'm all screwed up. Doc feels I may be diabetic, but I'm waiting on the results.

I really feel like crying.... but for whatever reason, I can't. I guess I'm trying to be strong for Hannah. She's really not taking it well. I left her father 7 years ago when she was a baby. Several years ago I met Jeff and she knew we were planning a wedding and that one day he'd be her step-father. Tonight she asked why she won't have him anymore and what's going to happen to her 'grandparents' (his parents) UGH!!! I feel like dying inside....