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long story
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Re: A little sad-- long story
hhhhmmm. . . thats a tough one.
i would write him a note explaining ur reasons why. like u i tend to get emotional and i forget what i want to say. at least this way with the note u get ur point across. if after that he still objects than i would just keep it at the neurtal location.
i would write him a note explaining ur reasons why. like u i tend to get emotional and i forget what i want to say. at least this way with the note u get ur point across. if after that he still objects than i would just keep it at the neurtal location.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
I wish I can help you. This very sticky situation
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Re: A little sad-- long story
I think I would discuss it with him again only because it is bothering you and if it bothers you then you need to talk to him about it. It is a tough situation to be in but I think talking to him and maybe he could ask his family how they would feel. They may not mind attending a church since it is for a wedding. They don't have to participate in receiving communion or anything.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
my dad went to a wedding of his cousin's son. his cousin was bar mitzvahed. he got married in a church, there was no rabbi. our family felt a little offended that they were attending a wedding for the family in the church. personally, i feel it should be a neutral site.. u should do what best for u and your fh
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Re: A little sad-- long story
If they are non-practicing then how is that offensive? Even if they are practicing how is that offensive? I am not Catholic & I am not offended by attending a Catholic ceremony....or a Jewish one, or anyone that isn't my particular faith...hell I am going to Israel to attend a Jewish wedding & I can't wait to see how other religions & cultures celebrate! I guess i enjoy the diversity & embrace it...haha
My FH's family are huge Catholics...I am Lutheran...(but i always say I have more faith than religion)...FH was raised Catholic but is non-practicing but believes in god....we are having our ceremony performed by his sister (she will get ordained on the web) at our RH...his family is a bit upset 1) because a priest isn't performing 2) it's not in a church...and I say....so freakin' what! The ceremony is for me & FH not his family or friends....go with what means the most to YOU and FH...do not change it to please other people, because in the end you will be disappointed! Good Luck!!!!
My FH's family are huge Catholics...I am Lutheran...(but i always say I have more faith than religion)...FH was raised Catholic but is non-practicing but believes in god....we are having our ceremony performed by his sister (she will get ordained on the web) at our RH...his family is a bit upset 1) because a priest isn't performing 2) it's not in a church...and I say....so freakin' what! The ceremony is for me & FH not his family or friends....go with what means the most to YOU and FH...do not change it to please other people, because in the end you will be disappointed! Good Luck!!!!
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Re: A little sad-- long story
i do NOT think you should feel guilty about bringing this up again. if it is that important to you to get married in a church, then you have to talk about it. i have been to several catholic/jewish weddings and it can be done in a church. frankly, if your FH's family does nto practice, then they should be willing to accommodate your family who does. you can include jewish traditions in your wedding. a friend of mine got married in st. agnes cathedral under a chuppah! they included many jewish traditions in her catholic ceremony. it can be worked out!!! the ceremony is for you BOTH and he needs to recognize your need and want to get married in a church.
also, you really need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him about this.... this is an issue that will be a part of your marriage for the rest of your lives. if he gets upset that you want ot get married in a church, then what happens when you have children? how will they be raised and in what faith??? how will holidays be celebrated ??? etc. etc.
good luck to you... let us know how it goes and i have information on inter-faith marriages in the catholic church (in terms of the requirements) if you go this route.
GOOD LUCK!
also, you really need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him about this.... this is an issue that will be a part of your marriage for the rest of your lives. if he gets upset that you want ot get married in a church, then what happens when you have children? how will they be raised and in what faith??? how will holidays be celebrated ??? etc. etc.
good luck to you... let us know how it goes and i have information on inter-faith marriages in the catholic church (in terms of the requirements) if you go this route.
GOOD LUCK!
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Re: A little sad-- long story
Posted by donegal419
you can include jewish traditions in your wedding. a friend of mine got married in st. agnes cathedral under a chuppah! they included many jewish traditions in her catholic ceremony. it can be worked out!!!
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Thanks- that is just what I would do if we had it at a Church. I just spoke with him & didn't bring it up again... maybe tomorrow
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Re: A little sad-- long story
hmm tough one. but i would try and talk to him one more time. if it means that much to you i would explain to him how you consider his feelings and you would like him to consider yours. good luck. let us know what the out come is.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
I was in the same boat. FH and I finally agreed on a chuch wedding. It came down to the fact of how we would like to raise our kids. He does not practice his religion at all so we agreed that getting married in a Cathlic Church and raising our kids catholic would be best seeing that my famly is also practicing. I think that you should talk to him again about it. I was also a little afraid of the topic b/c FH was so dead set on NO CHURCH but we came to a mutual agreement that made everyone happy. GOOD LUCK.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
I think you need to put the issue on the table ASAP. Also, what about your kids? How are you going to raise them. My sister is in a similar situation, she is a pracitcing Catholic and her husband isnt really anything, they decided to get married by a Catholic priest and have the baby raised in that religion because it is important to her. I think this is a situation that should really be talked about....good luck.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
If it means a lot to you-I would definetly bring it up again. No one should be offended by entering a church-why would they???![]()
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They are not converting-just witnessing a wedding.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
You girls are right. The only reason I would consider backing down on this one is b/c mutually we agreed to doing an interfaith ceremony from the begining.
I have always known that his immediate family isn't very religious but hearing him mention that religion meant nothing to him personally, I just thought to myself... we;ll if it means nothing to you, we should do it for me.
Wish me luck. I'll have to bring it up again after work tomorrow night.
I have always known that his immediate family isn't very religious but hearing him mention that religion meant nothing to him personally, I just thought to myself... we;ll if it means nothing to you, we should do it for me.
Wish me luck. I'll have to bring it up again after work tomorrow night.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
Huh... don't worry about ONLY 8 relatives.... they will get over it!!! Your Day.... YOUR WAY!!!!!![]()
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Re: A little sad-- long story
I would not feel guilty about bringing it up again. But if you feel that it is going to be emotionally trying on you I would maybe write him a note with how you feel and why it is important to you. I understand it would upset 8 people in the family...but in the full view of it-there will always be something that someone wont like! You arent going to make everyone happy-you need to do what is going to make you and FH on your wedding day and make it memorable for you two!![]()
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Re: A little sad-- long story
He should understand that religion is important to you and respect that. I think having both is a good idea, but why not in a church! nOPE, NOT FAIR
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Re: A little sad-- long story
hmmm tough situation
you have to do what is best for you and FH. It's your day. If it means that much to you to have it in a Church then you should talk to FH about it. You can't worry about other people and their opinions. if they are that offended that you are getting married in a church, let them decline coming to the wedding. focus on making yourself happy
good luck!
you have to do what is best for you and FH. It's your day. If it means that much to you to have it in a Church then you should talk to FH about it. You can't worry about other people and their opinions. if they are that offended that you are getting married in a church, let them decline coming to the wedding. focus on making yourself happy
good luck!
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Re: A little sad-- long story
Religion is a hot topic. If your FH isnt not a practicing member of his religion and it wouldnt offend him or you then I dont see why it should bother anyone to attend a wedding in a church especially if you are going to have a Rabbi as well. But some people are more sensitve about this subject than others. I dont think its wrong to talk about this. It is something that bothers you. If you two talk maybe you can come up with a solution.. Sometimes you have to forgo the feelings of a few and maybe forgoing the feelings of those 8 relatives that he only sees at wedding and funerals are worth the happiness of you two. JMO
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Re: A little sad-- long story
From what I have learned Jewish law dictates that for interfaith couples, the couple takes the religon of the wife. So if his 8 family members are religous they will know this and should not be offended. I personally am doing a rh ceremony but thats because neither one of us are practicing. You only get one wedding so push for what you want so you are not resentful down the road. good luck.
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Re: A little sad-- long story
I would talk about it and also have a discussion about it for sure!
I do not think you should have your wedding in a church though b/c it is too one sided.
THis is a sticky situation......perhaps you guys should have a discussion about all future scenarios like this too, and decide now how to deal with them. My best friend is in an interfaith marraige and when they were engaged they sat down and decided all the ways they were going do things regarding religion (ie: children, holidays that would/would not be celebrated, etc.)
That will eliminate future conflict.
GOOD LUCK!
I do not think you should have your wedding in a church though b/c it is too one sided.
THis is a sticky situation......perhaps you guys should have a discussion about all future scenarios like this too, and decide now how to deal with them. My best friend is in an interfaith marraige and when they were engaged they sat down and decided all the ways they were going do things regarding religion (ie: children, holidays that would/would not be celebrated, etc.)
That will eliminate future conflict.
GOOD LUCK!
