Long Vent semi wedding related

This might be a stupid way for me to feel. But I'm getting married this september. Having been laid off almost two years ago I have been working many different jobs trying to make extra cash for the wedding. It blows because I have a college degree and really all I can get is a part time job at 200.00 a week. It is difficult for me to feel desearving of this wedding, or good about myself when I come from an attention seeking, competitive family. And although I am proud of my one cousin who recently graduated from an ivy league school in film and got a gig right away and had a huge party thrown by my family to celebrate. I can't help but feel envious and like I'm waisting my life. Noone in my family is responding to my questions in regards to the guest list or even answered any of my emails. I appreciate what some members where able to pay for but how they do it is sort of mean like for example ' Heres my deposit for your invites, thats your wedding gift, your birthday and christmas gift'
I never asked for anything, they offered. But besides the point I feel like crap and feel like noone in my family cares about this wedding. I also feel like I do above, they always ask me about work and when I have nothing to tell them I can't help but feel worse about myself when they tell me how well others are doing. What am I doing wrong..what can I do?

Sorry for the long vent. I needed to let this out. I'm sad.

i'm so sorry you're having a hard time.

in the meanwhile, remember that you DO deserve this wedding! you're a good person (i know because only a good person would feel the way you do) and you deserve happiness!



ps: my FH's company is looking for people (he just started there about a month ago but loves it so far). They pretty much do marketing research (they stand in the malls and ask people to take surveys) ... but they get full benefits and a pretty good (not great, but good) base salary. Only crappy thing is the hours. If you want more info, FM me and i'll send over some details.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Please don’t be so hard on yourself- times are very hard right now but they will turn around and you’ll be ok.

im sorry, this makes me sad :(

Thanks girls, somehow I know someone in my family is going to make the wedding all about them becuase thats how it's always been.

and I'll take the offer on that FM if there are any details about it. Thank you all for listening, well reading.

So sorry you are feeling this way! It will all be great in the end!

Thank you everyone, I'm starting to feel better because of you all. Your all my LI wedding peeps! lol thanks

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's very common to feel this way when you're out of work, but it's not your fault! It's hard for ANYONE to get a job right now. Your cousin just plain got lucky with that job!



Here's hoping you find something more permanent soon!