Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
christine1221
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Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
Why do you think the author wrote the mother's character as unsympathetic?
It's clear from the writing that she regrets her life ... then the fact that she does not seem to be involved in the pursuit of Susie's killer, the afair, running away ...
I had some STRONG reactions to this. I went to bed SO MAD while reading!
nylisa
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
I was so ****ed off at the mother. How can you leave your fsmily in a time like this? I know that she left because she could not handle it anymore, but a mother is always suppose to be there for her children.
christine1221
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
Lisa ...
All I kept thinking about was the son. How this affected him & his ability to have lasting, healthy relationships with women. His sister dies (murdered) and his mother runs away. What does this say to him about women? She served herself and her own interests.
do you think it is more provacative, though, to write this story based on the idea that the MOTHER leaves, rather than the stereotypical FATHER LEAVING scenario?
nylisa
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
I thought that she wrote this whole book out of the norm. Christine, I agree with you that the son would definately not have strong relationships.
michele31
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
The mother is human- she is not super human. Her life was one way, and then all of a sudden life throws you a huge curve ball. How do you react? The truth is that more than 1/2 the parents of missing and/or murdered children divorce- why? The stress of the situation, the pain, the fact that one person doesn't handle the situation the way the other does, people pull away when they are hurt. This family was torn to the core, and the truth is very few families recover from these tragic events. I am not saying that it was 'fair' of the mother to leave town, BUT none of what happened to the family was fair. It is life.
natasha
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
I agree with you Michele. However, I was dissapointed in her. I though she was being selfish in her actions -- she didn't seem to think about the consequences of her actions -- especially her two children who are alive and need her at time more than ever.
michele31
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
A bit of personal experience here but....when my parents divorced my mother and father went to their own lives and forgot that they had 3 small children to worry about. My mother basically had a nervous breakdown. She had gone from living with her parents to getting married at 20, had a baby 7 months later and by the time she was 25 she had 3 small children. My dad took care of all money, all decisions. He picked out what car she would get, moved her to another state and said, 'Here is our house'. Being on her own for the first time, with 3 kids, was too much for her. Plus she had to start working for the 1st time and didn't even know where to begin. My mom left us one day. It took years but with time and growing up I have learned to do my best and forgive her for it. Both of my parents were very selfish for many years, but parents are only human. The mother didn't want to hurt anyone, but she was pushed to the edge and had no other choice (in her mind). Not an excuse, not an 'that's okay what you did' but in the real world you have a choice; forgive or hate.
natasha
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
Thanks for sharing your experience Michele.
nycchic_24
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
When I was reading about the mother at first I thought how in the world could she do this to her living family. But after thinking about it, I realized people deal with grief in so many different ways. For example, my husband lost his mom and then his dad 2 years later while living in PA. My first reaction would be to stay close to my remaining family if god forbid this were to happen but what he needed to do for his survival was to move back to NY. I know this is a different situation but it made me realize that grief is handles so differently by people. The mother in Lovely Bones did that she HAD to do in order to survive, or else she would have drowned in her own sorrow.
Kris
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
Like someone said before, mothers and fathers are humans. Did any of you, as you got older, realize the faults of your parents? See them as people, instead of the 'all knowing' parents? She dealt with her grief differently, and less predictably than most would expect. Would there be a storyline if she just sat around crying all the time? No. The story would be much less interesting to read. Writers write books to invoke emotion in the reader.
The mother had spent her whole life dreaming about what she could have been. When Susie was a small child she spoke about her aspirations, etc. to her. After the sister and brother were born, it was as if that person died. After Susie died, she felt as she had given it all up for nothing. She gave up her life to be a mother, and that was snatched away from her when Susie died. Not that she didn't have 2 other children, but the grief struck her hard. Her grief was more subtly revealed than the father or the sister. But she escaped her terrible reality to live her fantasy life.
Becky
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
I thought the mom was a very sympathetic character. I agree with Michele about the stress of the situation. I also think there were problems in that marriage prior to Susie's death and that her death just made those problems so much more apparent.
Perhaps becuase the author went out of her way to draw parallels between mom and the heroine from Awakening, I felt that the mom was somewhat trapped in her role and that she had been questioning it for some time. The one scene where she is looking at the water and considering walking out into it is a pretty blatant rip off of Awakening, but that is another issue!
shamma
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
My question thru reading this was, why isn't anyone speaking to each other about their feelings?? why didn't anyone seek counseling. She just got up and left, that I could not understand.
Suzanne
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Re: Lovely bones ... Let's talk about the Mother's character ....
Shamma that is exactly what I thought.. but then I thought this was the 70's and Im not sure if counseling was as big then as it is now.. But most certainly they could have spoken to the priest or something but it just seemed weird that they all lived in the same house but no one spoke to each other about it..
