Maid of Honor drama!!

I'm having some issues with my bridal party!!! I really don't have much time to get things done but when I do I try to get a lot done at once. I have two maid of honors who are both in school. I am in school full time and I worked 2 jobs!!

Today one finally decided to call me back after a week later and chk her email almost two weeks later. I'm having my engagement dinner tomorrow n she never even asked do u need help, is everything is order, etc. She did though create the save the date and purchase them. The wedding is in October and I feel like I have nothing done!!!!!!!! The other cant come because of work but purchased chocolates mints that we are using as favors so that was nice.But she has been real hard to get in touch with too. At this point I feel like ditching both of them. I thought a maid of honor was supposed to help you out and be ' your right hand'..Right now the only help I'm getting from is myself.

This wedding has been nothing but stress!! I have not had one fun moment with this whole thing. Well yes, I have trying on dresses and now that is a dilemma in itself....

Just wanted 2 vent

***Sorry so Long

I've had the same experience to some degree. My sister is my MOH and she has a baby, my other sister's done NOTHING and my BMs live out of state.



At least you have LIW girls!

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Posted by MnM52607

My sister is my Maid of Honor and she doesn't help too much either. But in my opinion, I asked her to be my MOH because she is my sister, not because I expect her to help. After all, it is my wedding.

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Same with me... neither of my girls (only have 1 MOH and 1 BM) are really helping with anything... I just want them to be standing next to me on the big day!

It seems like different people have different expectations of what their bridal attendants are supposed to do. Maybe when brides ask they should detail what they think the attendants are expected to do, so that there's no disappointments afterward. It's very possible that your bridesmaids or MOH don't realize how much you're expecting them to do, so they don't realize that you're getting so annoyed about it. And maybe they're equally annoyed that they think you expect too much from them.

To be honest, I think your MOHs are going over and above what's expected of them, having made and paid for your STDs, and paid for your engagment dinner favors. I think it's reasonable to ask them to come over and help you do some DIY, if you provide a party-like atmosphere, but doing it all on her own, and paying for it to boot? You should be grateful! And paying for your favors? Since when is that a MOH 'duty?' And since when is the engagement dinner a bridal attendant duty? I think you're pretty lucky so far, and you should work with your attendants. If they're both in school, weren't they just having finals? Their finals are a lot more important right now than your wedding six months down the road. Give the poor girls a break.

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Posted by Pencils

It seems like different people have different expectations of what their bridal attendants are supposed to do. Maybe when brides ask they should detail what they think the attendants are expected to do, so that there's no disappointments afterward. It's very possible that your bridesmaids or MOH don't realize how much you're expecting them to do, so they don't realize that you're getting so annoyed about it. And maybe they're equally annoyed that they think you expect too much from them.

To be honest, I think your MOHs are going over and above what's expected of them, having made and paid for your STDs, and paid for your engagment dinner favors. I think it's reasonable to ask them to come over and help you do some DIY, if you provide a party-like atmosphere, but doing it all on her own, and paying for it to boot? You should be grateful! And paying for your favors? Since when is that a MOH 'duty?' And since when is the engagement dinner a bridal attendant duty? I think you're pretty lucky so far, and you should work with your attendants. If they're both in school, weren't they just having finals? Their finals are a lot more important right now than your wedding six months down the road. Give the poor girls a break.

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DITTO!! Try not to focus so much on yourself and place such high expectations on your bridal party.

As brides and decent human beings we need to realize that other people are still going on with their personal lives. They have personal stress and committments that take priority over us!

Just because we are consumed with our wedding planning doesn't mean they have to be!

At least once a month FI asks why we have a bridal party.

Be glad they're not up your a$$ complaining and second guessing your choices.....(unless they are, I don't really know.)

I have to be honest here....I never understand threads like this...I don't 'expect' my bridal party to do anything for me, especially organize my engagement party. Sorry if this comes off mean but I just don't get it. You ask these people to be a part of your special day for a reason, not to tell them what they have to be doing for you.

I love my girls & all I wanted of them was to show up to my wedding, in their dresses and smiles on there faces.

Maybe your FH can help?

People are a piece of work these days, I really have to say, I wonder what is in our drinking water, I cant get over how many Brides have had problems with BM or MOH or Family Members who just act so inappropriate, rude & jealous, its so sad, every day we read about it on this site and it makes me very sad. I add myself to this list as I have experienced a little bit of family drama and all I did was pick my bridal party, Hello Family, Its Fh and My Day, not anyone elses Hang in there and you know what, if you have to do it yourself, its better, as it will be your way, not anyone elses, so you can do whatever your heart desires, thats the best part. SMILE.... I know time is tight with you but you will get it done, they are just acting so rude, please dont let it spoil your day.... All the best to you......

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Posted by KRISTYRUSSELL

People are a piece of work these days, I really have to say, I wonder what is in our drinking water, I cant get over how many Brides have had problems with BM or MOH or Family Members who just act so inappropriate, rude & jealous, its so sad, every day we read about it on this site and it makes me very sad. I add myself to this list as I have experienced a little bit of family drama and all I did was pick my bridal party, Hello Family, Its Fh and My Day, not anyone elses Hang in there and you know what, if you have to do it yourself, its better, as it will be your way, not anyone elses, so you can do whatever your heart desires, thats the best part. SMILE.... I know time is tight with you but you will get it done, they are just acting so rude, please dont let it spoil your day.... All the best to you......

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And every day on this board I read threads from brides who need some perspective. Your wedding is never going to be as important to anyone else as to you and your FH, and it's ridiculous to expect anyone else to think so. I'm not saying that lots of brides here don't have very legitimate beefs with friends and family--it never ceases to amaze me how weddings bring out the worst in some people. But they bring out the best in others. The best thing is to try to enjoy your wedding as much as you can and come out of it with your relationships intact. Be grateful for what people do for you and don't get wrapped up in resentment over unmet expectations. You will be a lot happier.

I found the only way to calm the nerves is to have FH and I do everything ourselves. The only other person who contributes minor things is mom.

Just let it go. Don't let the wedding sour any important relationships. No one else has wedding organization anxiety except for the bride. At least your friend contributed something....

If things get really bad scheduling wise, what about hiring a planner or DOC? I know it's expensive, but frankly, it may be worth your sanity!
Make some severe budget cuts in other areas, and then you'll be able to afford them, and you're pre-wedding time will be filled with excitement, not stress.....

full time student AND TWO jobs??? Your plate is FULL. You can't take-on anything else!!!!

To: Pencils

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Posted by KRISTYRUSSELL
People are a piece of work these days, I really have to say, I wonder what is in our drinking water, I cant get over how many Brides have had problems with BM or MOH or Family Members who just act so inappropriate, rude & jealous, its so sad, every day we read about it on this site and it makes me very sad. I add myself to this list as I have experienced a little bit of family drama and all I did was pick my bridal party, Hello Family, Its Fh and My Day, not anyone elses Hang in there and you know what, if you have to do it yourself, its better, as it will be your way, not anyone elses, so you can do whatever your heart desires, thats the best part. SMILE.... I know time is tight with you but you will get it done, they are just acting so rude, please dont let it spoil your day.... All the best to you......
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Quote from pencils:
And every day on this board I read threads from brides who need some perspective. Your wedding is never going to be as important to anyone else as to you and your FH, and it's ridiculous to expect anyone else to think so. I'm not saying that lots of brides here don't have very legitimate beefs with friends and family--it never ceases to amaze me how weddings bring out the worst in some people. But they bring out the best in others. The best thing is to try to enjoy your wedding as much as you can and come out of it with your relationships intact. Be grateful for what people do for you and don't get wrapped up in resentment over unmet expectations. You will be a lot happier.

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My Response to that:
I was responding to a post, I think you came across as a bit harsh to all of us brides, we are stating that many family, friends and bridal party act inappropriate, We dont need to appreciate that at ALL, thats crazy, its short and to the point, she had a beef with her bridesmaids not helping out and she should have a beef with them, they accepted the responsibility, thats it in a nutshell, we are not here to be rude to the girls.......we are here to express what is going on in our life and to help each other out......

Can I just say something...coming from an '09 bride?!?

Just appreciate what your freinds and family can do, and don't fault them for what they can't. I am a MOH to my sister and I had no idea what was expected of me until she got mad at me bc I didnt take initiative to look up dresses and flowers and such. I am there whenever she asks but I did not know that it was our job to do things for someone else's day. I did know I needed to help her where I could, but I need to know what to help with in teh first place... and how I can manage to do so with 2 jobs.

Now I am engaged and I havent asked anything yet from my bridal party...I know its early. But when its time, if they cant do something its fine. Just be there with me on my day and dont give me extra trouble about the minimum things like getting the dress or attending some important things. Its our day in the end, but its not all about ME until then.

Thank you for hearing me out...coming from both sides!!!

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Posted by KRISTYRUSSELL
I was responding to a post, I think you came across as a bit harsh to all of us brides, we are stating that many family, friends and bridal party act inappropriate, We dont need to appreciate that at ALL, thats crazy, its short and to the point, she had a beef with her bridesmaids not helping out and she should have a beef with them, they accepted the responsibility, thats it in a nutshell, we are not here to be rude to the girls.......we are here to express what is going on in our life and to help each other out......

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What, like I'm not a bride? All I'm saying is that you'll be a lot happier if you don't expect your bridal party and family to put your wedding first. That just because you're getting married everyone else's lives don't get put on hold, and that just because someone agrees to be in your wedding party they're not at your beck and call. You can ask them nicely to help out, but if their own lives come first, well too bad. If you want someone like that, hire a wedding planner or coordinator.