I love my best friend..we made a deal when we were 16 that we would be each others MOH. But ever since I got engaged and have been talking about my plans for our wedding, shes been getting annoyed and says that shes not jumping on the 'marriage bandwagon' just because everyone else is. This is supposed to be my maid of honor. Im sorry..bad attitude, not needed right now. It has alot to do with her bf not wanting to get engaged or married or even move in with her..has anyone been having these types of problems? I know its very early in the game and a little bit immature but its driving me crazy. I cant say anything around her and I really havent been talking about it to her either...
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Me and my bff made a deal back in HS like you 2 did, but we've seemed to have grown apart a lil bit... Don't see her that often like I used to... Which is exactly why I am not discussing the whole bridal party issue just yet... Havn't given anyone any definites... It's just too early IMO
Have a talk with her about it. Tell her how you feel & if she's still acting up, tell her in a nice way that you may have to consider someone else. Or better yet have 2 MOH's so she doesn't feel downgraded LoL I prob sound like a b*tch right now don't I?
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
hahah I think I would tell anyone else the same thing. If youre not going to pull the weight of a MOH then dont be it. I mean I have an older sister who's cool with not being the MOH cuz her best friend is going to be hers. But I know everyone grows apart from time to time. But I guess maybe we;re not on the same page we used to be on. I can guarantee you tho, if she had just gotten engaged she'd be gun ho on the whole thing!
HotAir
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
People do get funny when you get engaged. I'm sure it's a little jealousy. My MOH (who technically I didn't even ask but she knows she will be) has been great. I thought she would act strange. but, she's already planning the bachelorette party in Vegas. She's too much!
I'm sure things will work out but talk to her about it in a gentle way.
rsolano222
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Sorry that you're going through this. Its hard b/c you just want people to be happy for you during this wonderful time, but some people who arent exactly happy with where they're at have a tough time being happy for you. I've gone through that and have had friends who have gone through that. Would you feel comfortable talking to her about it? That might make her aware of how shes coming across..she might not even realize that shes coming across like that
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
LoL I have a friend that is dying to get engaged and we all know it's coming very shortly for her.... I've only known her for a few months, but we clicked right away and she wants to plan out my whole wedding!!!! My FH doesn't wanna go look at halls this soon and she jumped right in 'I'll go with you!!!!' At this time, I'm much closer to her than my bff that I've had for 10 yrs. Like you said people just grow apart sometimes
Lots of luck with the situation... I might end up having something similar once I start discussing the issue
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Im sure if I told her to stop griping about things, it would be alot different. Of course if this was her wedding I would be more than willing to help out.
I kinda feel alone right now. My only other friend who's married did everything very quickly ,(picked the first hall she visited didnt want to look into anything else etc) so in doing any type of research, its difficult. Thank god for this site though-at least theres people here that are excited!
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Yes thank you. Good luck to you too! Im sure your friend who wants to get engaged would love to help-that was me last year with my friend lol. All i wanted to do was be part of the planning. I think thats the most fun anyway!
You're right though. Sometimes looking to other people might be a better idea than someone who's not as excited.
Also, even tho you only know her a few months, sometimes her opinions might weigh more than your best friends. Alot of the times, the closer the friend or the longer you know them, the more catty it gets. You might take something the wrong way etc. Good luck tho! I'll keep you posted on my dilemma!
ponzita18
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
my moh is my sister the only problem i had was choosing which sister i picking.
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Your MOH is supposed to be so thrilled and ready to do everything with you. Whoever said she is unhappy and cant share in your happiness is so true! I thin thebest idea would be to shoot straight with her. Tell her that you are so xcited to have her as your MOH but she doesn't seem as thrilled to be in that position. Hopefully she will realize how she has been acting and will snap out of it! Who knows, maybe this will all make you two stronger and maker her be a kick *** MOH! Best of luck...keep us posted!
-Lauren
Anthonysgirl
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you! You should be able to discuss your plans with her and have her be happy and excited for you. I would maybe tell her in a friendly way that you feel like you can't talk about any wedding plans with her and that you really want her to be involved because she is very special to you and this is your big day. I'm sure she will understand! Good Luck!
GinaBambina08
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
I'm having a similar situation...I had a feeling my MOH could possibly get jealous after I got engaged, so I just downplayed everything, and I don't really talk about wedding plans with her too much..I don't want it to seem like i'm trying to show off...I just tell her what she needs to do and I keep the whole wedding planning thing short and sweet with her...when I want to talk about my wedding, I talk to my other engaged friends or my mother...
FalNBill
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Im really sorry to hear about your MOH, thats terrible, You should defintily say something to her, not in a threating way, but just be up front, if she cannot have a positive outlook on your wedding then maybe it's better not to be invovled.
Its so sad that these things happen, I dont understand the need to be envious., it will happen for everyone when it's there time,
Well i hope everything works out for you, please keep us posted!
Jayla127
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Sorry to hear that you have to deal with that>
It's sad to say but when you become engaged you find out who your real friends are. I had (2) close friends who I thought were happy for me but come to find out the were the bashers. They have nothing but negative things to say,. For instance questilons I have been ask:
Where are you taking so long to get married? Are you sure he loves you? Your better off single and living together. Why are you spending so much money for 1 day.
I simply told them that it's ashamed at their age they act and behave like jealous people. Where I would think they would be happy for me.
I just saw them the other day in passing and they had the nerve to ask when is the date. I told them,
'it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, your really not invited'
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Posted by Jayla127
Sorry to hear that you have to deal with that>
It's sad to say but when you become engaged you find out who your real friends are. I had (2) close friends who I thought were happy for me but come to find out the were the bashers. They have nothing but negative things to say,. For instance questilons I have been ask:
Where are you taking so long to get married? Are you sure he loves you? Your better off single and living together. Why are you spending so much money for 1 day.
I simply told them that it's ashamed at their age they act like and behave like jealous people. Where I would think they would happy for me.
I just saw them the other day in passing and they had the nerve to ask when is the date. I told them,
'it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, your really not invited'
WoW!!! you go gurl
People do have a lot of nerve... I haven't had to deal with that yet b/c I think I 'eliminated' all the 'friends' I had in the past b4 I even got engaged! Someone can only push me so far before I tell em to fcuk off (and i have a very short fuse )
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Woohooo Just realized I am no longer a newbie, but a board enthusiast!!!
italyngigi
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
I FEEL SO BAD THAT YOU FEEL THIS WAY. Try and talk to her about it. I think it's envy in a way. My friend is doing the same thing w/me. We never made plans to be ea.others MOH's but I did say one day before getting engaged that I would like to possibly have friends in my bridal party. Well we got engaged last year and aren't getting married until 2009. The only people I asked were my sister, my two cousins (both female) and my FH's sister who I've known longer than my FH. WELL.... my friend threw an attitude and was P!SSED OFF that I'm probably not asking friends to be in it. She was like well I told you how I felt I really thought I was going to be in it. I'm like I never said I definitely was or weren't having friends in it. Right now I'm not sure and I told her I know people that I'm friends with longer than you. I don't want to choose and I don't have to right now. If you feel that she's turning (I hate to say turning) on you / acting differently try and talk to her. I've told my friend how I felt about ALL OF HER COMMENTS and belive me I heard about it for almost a year. And she was like well I was only 1/2 joking and I told you how I felt and that I was upset and I'll only do it for a full year and she'd make a dumb laugh - which I know she wasn't kidding. I'm like yea but don't be your not the only friend not going to be in or that might not be in it. I have plenty of time. She still makes remarks but not as bad. We talked about it again and I told her I how I felt about being confused to have friends or not and she goes 'we need to stop talking about this because I'M getting upset b/c you flip-flop.' Sorry for rambeling I needed to vent.
italyngigi
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Re: Maid of Honor seems envious
Jayla - That's horrible (that they treated you like that)! Same friend of mine was like why is it taking so long you guys are together (at the time) for 2 years, 3 years, 4 years, every year it was SOMETHING SHE HAD TO SAY. Then was like MAYBE HE HAS COMMITTMENT ISSUES. I'm like OBVISOULY NOT! She just called me at work and I'm trying NOT to be mad about it b/c I'm thinking of it all now LOL.
