After I got engaged I asked a very good friend of mine of many years to be one of my bride's maids. She graciously accpeted. A few months later, she informed me that she was getting 2 dread locks in her hair. Never thinking she would ever do her whole head, I said 'If you ever do your whole head, I cannot have you in my wedding.' Well, here we are two months later and she is doing her whole head. She called me and told me that I have to make a decision because she is definitely doing it. I don't want to seem superficial, because her friendship means so much to me. She says she will not be hurt or offended, but I still dont want to make that decision. I just have this dream of what my wedding would be like and this just doesn't fit in. Am I being selfish?
Mooshyboo
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
ohhhh wow that is a tough one ~ well you are getting married in 10-2007 maybe she is going through a faze and it will be over by next year!!
Good Luck ~ I dont know what to say ~ here are some huggys for you
siobhanB
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Well... assuming she is a bridesmaid, wouldn't she have her hair done up anyway? So maybe you wouldn't really tell that they are dread-locked?
I would keep her in, if she's as good a friend as you say she is, then to me, it shouldn't matter if she had long flowing locks, a shaved head or dread-locks. You are friends with her for her personality, which may totally go with having dreadlocks, not for her hair.
lilpie19
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I think you should keep her in because she is your good friend....I'm sure she'll put her hair up to make her hair look nicer....and by Oct next year she may not even have them. If it makes you feel any better, TWO of my GMs (who are under 20) have the huge fros that are in now...it's scary and they have had it for about a year and a half already....I'm praying that they don't next year!!!!
eunicsd006
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
HAIR SHOULDNT COME BETWEEN TWO GOOD FREINDS....AS LONG AS SHE IS ON TOP OF HER DREDS AND KEEPS THEM NICE AND NEAT I DONT THINK U SHOULD HAVE A PROBLEM BESIDES U HAVE A WAYS TO GO MAYBE AFTER SHE GETS HER WHOLE HEAD DONE SHE MIGHT CHANGE HER MIND AND TAKE THEM OFF...GOOD FRIENDS ARE HARD TO FIND
TnOiOnL
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
This is definatly a tough one. I personally think you should choose your friendship over her dreadlocks quite honestly. I understand your side and I would HATE to have someone with dreads in my BP, but this girl is not your friend because of her hair. I have a BM who has suuuuuper long fingernails, nose ring, labret ring, and just flat out looks like a psycho. But I love her and had to have her as a BM... Im sorry youre going through this
ksl268
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Think about why you asked her to be in your wedding. I'm pretty sure it didn't have anything to do with how hew hair looked. Keeping that in mind, she is still your friend and you have already asked her to be a part of the day, I wouldn't retract that offer because of her hair. JMO
JazzyT
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Its your friend, and you asked her to be in your BP because she is a friend and means a lot to you at least I hope so, so her choice of hair style should not matter to you there are many locticians that style dreads so nicely you would not believe its dreads.
lisalisa27
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Posted by JazzyT
Its your friend, and you asked her to be in your BP because she is a friend and means a lot to you at least I hope so, so her choice of hair style should not matter to you there are many locticians that style dreads so nicely you would not believe its dreads.
Yes that is what I was going to say. Locks are beautiful and it may represent her heritage (Im not sure) but I don't think that should be a factor with her being in your wedding. I have seen some beautiful updos with locs and even some brides with beautiful locks up do. Im sure it can be worked out.
EGreene79
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
How is her hair going to affect your day? I think some brides get wrapped up in superficial things - I'm guilty as well - but you need to step back and ask yourself 'what does it really matter?' She's your friend, and regardless of her appearance you should want her there. Personally if my friend asked me to back out because of my hair, weight, height, etc ... I'd be really offended and question what kind of friend she is.
ETA - I think what gets me upset about this kind of stuff is that a friend of mine told me that if I was pregnant for her wedding she'd drop me from the bridal party. So what, should I plan my life around her wedding!? Is she crazy? That will be my family - sorry if her wedding doesn't come first!!! The funny thing is, I have no intention of having kids within the next couple of years, so it shouldn't be a problem, but I was so offended by her comment.
BunnyBride
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Dreds can look really beautiful if they are well maintained. If she is that good of a friend her hair should be unimportant, imo...
chrissyandvin
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Hair is Hair.. doesn't change her being a great friend! I don't care what my girls do to their hair.. as long as they are there by my side!! That's all that matters!
KellyS15
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Thanks girls! You all made me feel so much better. I know that I was having a superficial moment, but I was on LI Weddings when she called and I was just upset. I don't think that I could ever not have her in my wedding. Thanks for the advice. In the fight of Friend vs. Dreads....
FRIEND WINS!!!
Thanks again!
Lola0703
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
It would not matter to me what kind of hairdo my friend had, dreads, braids, curly, straight, wavy or bald!!!! A friend is a friend and keeping her in the wedding is my opinon is the right decision!!!
hayleyandsteve
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
good decision!
JMM7876
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I personally would pick keeping my friend in the wedding... I am sure her hair will look beautiful either way! It still doesn't change your friendship...it is how she wants to express herself and you must love her for that. Let us know...good luck!
jessica12179
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Posted by EGreene79
How is her hair going to affect your day? I think some brides get wrapped up in superficial things - I'm guilty as well - but you need to step back and ask yourself 'what does it really matter?' She's your friend, and regardless of her appearance you should want her there. Personally if my friend asked me to back out because of my hair, weight, height, etc ... I'd be really offended and question what kind of friend she is.
ETA - I think what gets me upset about this kind of stuff is that a friend of mine told me that if I was pregnant for her wedding she'd drop me from the bridal party. So what, should I plan my life around her wedding!? Is she crazy? That will be my family - sorry if her wedding doesn't come first!!! The funny thing is, I have no intention of having kids within the next couple of years, so it shouldn't be a problem, but I was so offended by her comment.
My one friend asked me if she should grow her hair for the wedding ....my other friend asked me if I would be mad if she's preggo for my wedding .....My response for both girls was you are an as@#$%$! lol My wediing day should not affect what your life should be for the next year ....Yes it's my wedding and on my wedding day all I wish for is all my friends fat, skinny, short hair long hair whatever I don't care and I don't think anyone else does either .... all eyes on you that day anyway ..Right Good luck
Soon2bMrsI
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
I think you should keep her in...she is a good friend and you never know she may take them out by next yr. and she can do fun things with her hair for your wedding that doesn't look to obvious. DOn't ruin a friendship over something that is so minor. We all have dreams of what our day will look like but remember we don't always get what we want.
weddingbunny
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Posted by jessica12179
Posted by EGreene79
How is her hair going to affect your day? I think some brides get wrapped up in superficial things - I'm guilty as well - but you need to step back and ask yourself 'what does it really matter?' She's your friend, and regardless of her appearance you should want her there. Personally if my friend asked me to back out because of my hair, weight, height, etc ... I'd be really offended and question what kind of friend she is.
ETA - I think what gets me upset about this kind of stuff is that a friend of mine told me that if I was pregnant for her wedding she'd drop me from the bridal party. So what, should I plan my life around her wedding!? Is she crazy? That will be my family - sorry if her wedding doesn't come first!!! The funny thing is, I have no intention of having kids within the next couple of years, so it shouldn't be a problem, but I was so offended by her comment.
My one friend asked me if she should grow her hair for the wedding ....my other friend asked me if I would be mad if she's preggo for my wedding .....My response for both girls was you are an as@#$%$! lol My wediing day should not affect what your life should be for the next year ....Yes it's my wedding and on my wedding day all I wish for is all my friends fat, skinny, short hair long hair whatever I don't care and I don't think anyone else does either .... all eyes on you that day anyway ..Right Good luck
I absolutely agree. I think it's ridiculous to even consider dropping somebody from your bridal party because of their hair! Take a deep breath, step back, and remind yourself of what really matters here - uniformity in your pictures, or sharing a special day with your friends and family?
mskittynj
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Re: MAJOR Bride's Maid Dilema! HELP!
Thats tough...If she's your good friend you should have her in your wedding because you love her, however I think she should understand you don't want her dread locks in your pictures....You still have a lot of time until the wedding so maybe she won't have it by then.... XOXOXO Kitty
