MAJOR CHUCH DILEMA--HELP NEEDED!

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Posted by Lsorrent

Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.

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I'm getting married at the same church and I was not asked for this for FH, all we had to do was provide his baptismal certificate.

wow...honestly I know I'm confrontational and stuff,. but I would be furious. I don't get why that church would make you jump through all their hoops to marry you. I think its grossly unfair.

If your Fh is ok w taking the classes i'd say ok, but honestly I'd be resentful as hell. that's a LONG time to deal with. 8 months? Weddings are stressful enough. Do you think he'd be fine really? Or would it cause grief between you two?

I do understand that it's important for you to get married at that church. If my Grandfather helped build it, I;d want to get married there too.

just think of this. The wedding is one day. The marriage is the rest of your life. If it's at all a problem between you two, I'd get married elsewhere. :(

Wow thats absolutely rediculous and I'd report to higher ups in the church. I cannot believe that priests have this 'authority' to deny a happy couple from getting married in a specific location.

I agree with some of the girls on here to maybe go with him to the classses as a little bonding experience. Honestly for shits and giggles I would even try going to another church JUST to see if they would accept you or deny you for the same reason. And if they accept you with no issues. then Id go back to your original church saying ***?!?

Every parish is different with the rules they follow. DH was baptized but never made any sacraments, same situation you are in. My church allowed us to get married there and have a full mass, as long as DH signed something that stated our children would be raised Catholic. He did not have to take any classes or be confirmed.

I know you mentioned that your church is important to you but you might have to look elsewhere if you really want to get married in a church.

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Posted by DWKSwed

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Posted by Lsorrent

Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.

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I'm getting married at the same church and I was not asked for this for FH, all we had to do was provide his baptismal certificate.

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right..when we handed in all our paers our priest told us that when u r baptized in a catholic church that gives u the right to be married in on..but maybe some churche are diffrent

i would go to anoter church and talk to a diff priest

yes my church is different, the priest is insisting he needs to take it and fh has said he does not want me to take it with him as i have already taken it.

I did call the Diocese today and spoke to a wonderful sister who will be speaking to someone else-a priest there- and getting back to me most likely next week after holy week. she mentioned something about calling the priest-but did say the priest has the ultimate say. he would not even be the one marrying us. a deacon would be marrying us. basically if the diocese does not have a problem with it then the priest kinda has to go along with what they say...no one wants to upset the diocese...sooo lots of prayers girls!!!

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Posted by Roccosgirl

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Posted by Lsorrent

Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.

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This must not be true in every parish. My Fh is Episcopal and was only baptized and it wasn't an issue at all. They just wanted his baptisimal certificate and I think the priest has to sign a paper since he is not Catholic. We havent had any problems in our church with him not being confirmed.

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that's because yours is an interfaith marriage. since he is not Catholic you can get away with it. But if he is Catholic and was baptised - you kinda have no excuse if you want to get married in the church. If not, you would have to have a ceremony at the RH or somewhere else

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Posted by Leia1920

yes my church is different, the priest is insisting he needs to take it and fh has said he does not want me to take it with him as i have already taken it.

I did call the Diocese today and spoke to a wonderful sister who will be speaking to someone else-a priest there- and getting back to me most likely next week after holy week. she mentioned something about calling the priest-but did say the priest has the ultimate say. he would not even be the one marrying us. a deacon would be marrying us. basically if the diocese does not have a problem with it then the priest kinda has to go along with what they say...no one wants to upset the diocese...sooo lots of prayers girls!!!

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if your friend is trying to get married in your same church and is in the same situation, the next time you talk to the priest i would definately ask them why each person is treated differently - there should be a uniform way to handle these cases.

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Posted by Leia1920

see that is not true. my friend is getting married in july and her fh has the same situation being baptized but never receiving the sacraments adn he does not have to do these classes. AND it is the sme church!

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Why will they let them and not you???

And no it's not true they don't make you both be catholic/confirmed.... I'm presbyterian and the catholic church we got married in only needed DH's baptism and confirmation certificate... I had both but he didn't even ask for mine

But yea I don't understand why he's letting your friend and her FH but not you guys?? Did you ask him??

And see that would make me so upset I wouldn't have my wedding there... but if that's your lifelong dream that's a really stinky situation. Most churches we looked into only needed one of us to be catholic.

They're saying it's bc he didn't have enough time to take them which i know is bologne as they got engaged last march 09 and their wedding is july 10. the classes start in sept adn i know she booked the church before then!!!!

i only want my wedding at this church, we're goign to be getting married by a deacon not even the priest!

Sorry to hear about your dilema - Does it have to be a church or can it be a chapel? I got this info for a historic chapel ceremony a while back and I'd be happy to send your way. I wish I could be of more help - If FH is willing to take the classes - it might be a new chapter for him or perhaps you can look into other parishes. FM me if you want more info on the chapel. Hope this helps.

ceremony at RH is out. I'm not trying to be a pain but that is never what i envisioned my wedding to be. plus reception site said we would have to take pictures before and I am NOT doing that, he does not see me till I walk down the aisle.

and I really don't want to go outside of the catholic religion and get married elsewhere..so hopefully the diocese will help as they were very nice on the phone.

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Posted by Lsorrent

Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.

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FH's church is marrying us - he's Catholic and I'm not, I am Christian and was baptized, but didn't have my confirmation or anything. The Catholic Church was actually fine with this.