so my church does not want to marry us there or have anyone else marry us there
here's the situation.
I was baptized catholic and received all my sacraments. FH was baptized catholic but never received any sacraments. He has never practiced the catholic religion in any way shape or form. When we met with the priest at my church he informed us that in order for us to be married FH would have to take 8 months of RCIA classes in order to be confirmed to be married in the church. so i contacted a deacon. well my priest will not allow the deacon to marry us unless my FH takes these RCIA classes. soo now i'm stuck. FH has said he will take them but i do not want to make him take something that he has to sit in for a few hours once a week for 8 months, thats not fair to him as he woudl only be doing this for me. FH has no desire to receive the sacraments. we are having this major problem due to his baptism.
I dont know what to do. this is very upsetting to me as everyone in my family has gotten married in this church.Getting married in the church is very important to me. I've been crying all day about this and don't know the next step to take. any advise you ladies could provide would be helpful.
Lsorrent
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Re: MAJOR CHUCH DILEMA--HELP NEEDED!
Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.
Roccosgirl
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Posted by Lsorrent
Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.
This must not be true in every parish. My Fh is Episcopal and was only baptized and it wasn't an issue at all. They just wanted his baptisimal certificate and I think the priest has to sign a paper since he is not Catholic. We havent had any problems in our church with him not being confirmed.
leesah85
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If it's really important to you to get married in a church, and FH is willing to take the classes, then it seems like that's the only other alternative. Sorry I can't be of more help!
Leia1920
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see that is not true. my friend is getting married in july and her fh has the same situation being baptized but never receiving the sacraments adn he does not have to do these classes. AND it is the sme church!
canmigs
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Is there anyone else you could speak to at the church? I was married at a catholic church for my first marriage. I received all my sacraments with the exception of my confirmation. The church was very accommodating. They understood the reasons and just made me promise that I would do it after the marriage. Of course we planned the entire wedding in 6 weeks so there was no time to do anything before!
Lsorrent
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Posted by Roccosgirl
Posted by Lsorrent
Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.
This must not be true in every parish. My Fh is Episcopal and was only baptized and it wasn't an issue at all. They just wanted his baptisimal certificate and I think the priest has to sign a paper since he is not Catholic. We havent had any problems in our church with him not being confirmed.
Interesting. My FH is also Episcopal, and they wanted copies of his baptism and confirmation certificates.......AND we had to sign a permission slip.
Leia1920
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thats the churches problem is they are saying that he has plenty of time to do this before. i just dont think its fair to him to make him do the classes for something that he does not care about. he would be happy getting married at town hall! i'm the one that wants the church weddign as i have always envissioned my wedding to be that.
lau11888
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Okay if I was you I would go to another church. I have a similar situation. I was raised Catholic and recieved all my sacraments FH was only baptized Catholic but never did anything else. Just as you said I really wanted to get married in the Catholic Church so I contacted the priest and we made it clear from day one FH was not Catholic and has no intentions of becoming Catholic. The Dioscese of RVC requires you do to an interview with the priest which takes literally 5 minutes each and do the precana. FH and I both made extra sure the priest knew he wasn't Catholic and had no intentions of it numerous times. The only thing they required of us (besides the interview and the precana) is to sign a paper saying we plan to raise our children Catholic. What they are saying isn't right and I wouldnt let them do that to you. I had an incident with the church because FH is military and deployed so they the priest had to get it approved from the pastor to do his interview on the phone. I was livid at the thought that they were even questioning it. He ended up saying okay. Don't let them get you all upset I would just go to another church.
Leia1920
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i know but this church my great grandfather helped build so it is more for sentimental reasons. i called 2 others churches and they told me the same thing. so do i call the DRVC and talk to them?
Leia1920
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did you have to produce FH's baptisimal certificate?
lau11888
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No they haven't asked me for any of his papers just for mine. I even volunteered his baptismal certificate and the priest said its okay just to get all my papers together.
adelya21
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well then that makes noo sense!! are you sure its exactly the same situation as you? you should kindly ask them why the different treatment? THAT would make me more upset than anything else.
Posted by Leia1920
see that is not true. my friend is getting married in july and her fh has the same situation being baptized but never receiving the sacraments adn he does not have to do these classes. AND it is the sme church!
Bride2011
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Re: MAJOR CHUCH DILEMA--HELP NEEDED!
Posted by Roccosgirl
Posted by Lsorrent
Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.
This must not be true in every parish. My Fh is Episcopal and was only baptized and it wasn't an issue at all. They just wanted his baptisimal certificate and I think the priest has to sign a paper since he is not Catholic. We havent had any problems in our church with him not being confirmed.
Two points. I do believe that every parish is different, as mine also told me that FH didn't need to be confirmed to be married in the church, as long as one person had their sacraments. I was told this after FH had been enrolled in the RCIA classes for a couple of months...which brings me to my second point. FH had no interest in taking the RCIA classes and he basically did it for me. I went along with him every week, and I can say that the classes were actually great and spiritual, they made FH closer to his religion (he admitted this), and they definitely brought us closer together. It was sort of a refreshing experience. It seems that FH doesn't mind doing it, so do it together; you may actually learn something.
wiggleit28
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I would definitely try to see if there is someone else at the church with whom you could speak. As some of the other posters have mentioned, rules must vary from parish to parish because my FH and I are getting married in a Catholic Church--he is Catholic and I am not (i'm non-denominational and have never been baptized, confirmed or anything). The priest at the church said there is a dispensation that needs to be signed and that we still need to do pre-cana but that's it!
I know that this is upsetting for you--I went through something very similar (only the other way around--I didn't want to get married in a church). Somehow, though, everything works out alright.
Also, if FH is truly willing to do it for you it shows how much he loves you and i'd say--let him do it!
geegee827
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Re: MAJOR CHUCH DILEMA--HELP NEEDED!
Posted by Lsorrent
Unfortunately if you're catholic or any form of Christianity, you need to be confirmed to get married in a catholic church. The church allows interfaith marriages, but that's completely different since other religions don't require confirmation.
That's not completely true. DH and I are both catholic but I was never confirmed. As long as one of us was confirmed there was no issue at all. Confirmation is not a 'required' sacrament. You must be Baptised a Catholic in order to be Catholic. You need not be confirmed.
blu6385
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i find this odd ... I got married in a catholic churc and DH was raised i think lutheran .. he was only baptized ... he did not have to tkae any classes to get confirmed ... we both just had to sign something saying that we would raise our kid catholic and we both had to go to pre canna ...
JLWSJC
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My parents, actually, got married in a Catholic church and only my mom had been confirmed. Dad never made confirmation, he was only baptised.
FutureMrsDe
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thats crazy, there are people who marry non catholics and still get married in church! if he is willing to do it and it means that much to you then let him do it. If you would be ok with going to a different church they may marry you.
springsandra
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Posted by leesah85
If it's really important to you to get married in a church, and FH is willing to take the classes, then it seems like that's the only other alternative. Sorry I can't be of more help!
ITA with this.
It sounds like getting married at this church is really important to you. You are really important to your FH. I know it sounds odious, but he's willing to do it and loves you. It's not torture, it's religious classes and it's for the extremely important end --> that you get married where it means the world to you.
Maybe try to embrace the task at hand instead of considering it such a curse that he has to do this.
