major rant!

Original post by Hamptonsbride06

Oct 13, 2005 09:50 PM

So I told my mom that i picked the bms dresses i like and she has done nothing but complain and fight with me since i told her:

you dont spend time with me, you never go shopping with me, you picked out ugly dresses and i hate them , you should get red dresses, because you are spending so much on this wedding red dresses would be appropriate

you never take me with you shopping and you dont listen to what i tell you

'a wedding is about the bride and her mother spending time together and picking things together'

funny i always thought it was about the couple getting married and making a life long commitment to each other

at my sisters wedding they did this, and at my sisters wedding they did that, and you know what, im going to wear a black dress too, or a polka dot dress'

her sisters wedding was in 1986!!! they wore big floppy hats!

she continued:

'everything you pick out is so ugly, i dont know why you are even bothering having a wedding you should elope and save your money, you are going to need it for a good lawyer when you catch rob (my fh) cheating on you!'

so i couldnt take it anymore and told her:

'if you dont like it, then dont come, no sweat off my back, it would actually save me a lot of money if you stayed at home that night with all your negativity'

and she agreed

'good, i dont want to go anyway, doesnt bother me'

what kind of mother talks to her child like this?!? both of my brothers eloped...im the only one left..and the only girl..am i missing something?!?

sorry for the long rant..but i just had to get it out before it ate at me

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Oct 14, 2005 12:18 PM

Re: major rant!

I'm so sorry! Those are some horrible things that she said to you. Here's some advice that I've told a few people on this board, and my FH actually gave this advice to me originally (because I too have mother issues):

Someone is excited for your wedding and marriage. It may not be your own mother. Maybe it's your FMIL, or your sister, or maybe your best friend. But take that excitement and enjoy it with those people.
If your mom doesn't care, that that is her problem. That shouldn't stop you from enjoying this happy time with the people that are excited for you.

Now this is from me (not FH):

I know that it hurts that your mom could say such disrespectful things and is not happier for you. I'm not sure if this is just a wedding thing, or if she's not supportive all the time (like my mom). Either way, don't take it personally because it's your mom's problem, and it probably doesn't have to do with you. Since you are the youngest, it is likely she's feeling really sad about her last child getting married. But that is still her issue to deal with and she shouldn't take it out on you. I hope this helped. Feel better

smurray Posted: Oct 14, 2005 12:30 PM

Re: major rant!

I'm sorry for your situation I hope everything will work out. Maybe you should give her sometime, and then try to work it out.

Mystere Posted: Oct 14, 2005 01:03 PM

Re: major rant!

i am so sorry you are going through this!!!! especially the FH cheating comment!!! Totally innapropriate and hurtful!!! I wish I could say something nice and comforting to make you feel better!!!! I think you had the right response - maybe when you feel a little calmer you could let her know just how hurt you are by her behavior!!!!