Make it happy

I am in a similar situation - my sis is my MOH - she is young - 21 - and doesn't know about any of this stuff - and it's not that she isn't happy for me - but this isn't her 'thing.' (she's not that responsible either) - I wouldn't even dream that she would plan a shower or bachelorette party - My two Best Friends are in the wedding party and, well - we pretty much all know how my sis is - so my friends are my backbone - and I am hoping that they will pick up my sister's slack! i know they will! Good luck!

in the two weddings i was in, i was not the moh, but took over most of the moh duties. i see this happening a lot where the chosen moh does not seem interested, or fulfill their duties either because they don't know any better (the first wedding i was in) or because they have other things to deal with (the 2nd wedding i was in) the only advice i have for you is that your other bm will pick up the slack, and i'm sure they will be happy to do it. i know i was. good luck!!

I can totally relate to that. My MOH was similiar in almost all respect to not being helpful, lack of involvement, lack of enthuaism, etc. She was not dating or have anyone while I was engaged throughout my 1 1/2 year of wedding planning/engagement period. She made things difficult with her whining, complaing, and depression with her sorryful and woeful tales of loniness for 3 years. Many blind dates but no guy for a future with. She wanted to wear a totally different dress to distinguish herself as the MOH. I ended up BUYING the f*** thing including shoes for the woman! My other BM's were shocked and disgusted with a MOH like this. I ended up getting a bigger bouquet for her to disguish her as the MOH. She NEVER adjusted my train during our ceremony. She NEVER made a MOH speech either. During the entire day she was clinically depressed and not happy for me.

It's hard for some people who are going through a lot of problems in their lives either relationship, financial, job, etc. and can't be excited for another. I should have chosen someone else as my MOH.

I am new to the site but I had to say I definitly know how you feel. My MOH (who is also married) doesn't seem interested at all. I am getting married may1,2004 and all the rest of the girls have ordered their dresses already but the MOH.

She tells me she will give me the money to go put down on her dress and the mesuresments so that she doesnt even have to go try it on.

She doesnt even want to be involve in finding a place for my bridal shower, the rest of my brides maid's are from other states and they are even putting alot more interest then her into my wedding. the only thing that akes it worse is that the MOH's husband is the best man who is putting the same amount of interest into the wedding.
My fiance are feed up with them. we want to have them step down but can we do that and how do we do that in a sort of nice way.

Need advice and lots of help.

I have had the same situation- my MOH booked a trip the very time that I was having my engagement party and she knew about it 10 months in advance- so dont feel bad- I had to talk to her though and now it like I dont even ask her for anything- Hopefully she will prove herself when the actual day gets here but I would just focused on the people that are willing to help me. Dont let it get you down Good Luck

In a perfect world your MOH would be gushing over you.. but the world we live in isn't perfect.

You just have to always remember that the person that will be most excited about this wedding will be you & your FH. You can't really expect other people to be incredibly excited because it's not there wedding. Additionally you can't really quantify another person's emotions and say, 'you aren't excited enough' because, really, what does that even mean.

The good news is you have friends around you that are excited and have agreed to be in your wedding party.. so count your blessings, don't take it personally, and enjoy every moment- because a lot of people don't have what you do.

I definitely know how you feel. My MOH is my cousin and she really hasn't stepped up to the plate at all. I was somewhat obliged to make her my MOH in the first place but luckily I have excellent BM's to help me out!!