So basically FH is military and pretty much the only way I can live with him is to be married. Also I graduate school in December and we aren't having the wedding until March so unless I get a full time job right out of the gate I won't have health insurance. So we're planning on getting 'married' as in just justice of the peace legally married this summer. We aren't even planning on telling anyone except immediate family. My question is has anyone done this. If so are you still getting married, like wedding day married in a church? I don't want a renewal of the vows ceremony, do the priests get touchy about that? Any information would be greatly appreciated!
SugarBliss226
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Re: married before the wedding
i was thinking about the same things, but io would imagine the catholic church wouldnt like that very much, it doesnt hurt to ask you can google priests and some have bog site, i was searching them before I meet with my priest to see what the questions would be about bc we live together i wanted to know how they feel and it different for all churchs, two churchs by me didnt mind and one did.. good luck congrats on graduating and congrats on ur engagment :)
JLWSJC
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Re: married before the wedding
I fyou are already married with a license, the priest will know that when you don't have a new marriage license to sign at the ceremony. I'm pretty sure they won't do it.
ETA, there are a few girls on here who have gotten married before their 'Wedding' for various reasons, so you have to do what's good for you. How important is the Catholic ceremony to you? Unfortunately, in our country, often we are forced to choose between famiy, education, and choice of job vs health insurance, which sux
Feel free to bounce your pros and cons off of us if you're going to concisder this, there will surely be some helpful insight. Good luck
MrandMrsP
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Re: married before the wedding
my cousins did the same thing for the same reason [medical insurance]
they told their parents...they went to the court house like after he had a dentist appointment and before she had to teach a dance class like crazyness
anyway we didn't know until after the white dress tux dj party wedding that they were already married
Didn't really matter it was kinda funny really
Tomlaur0808
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Re: married before the wedding
I dont know, Im all for being honest & not deceiving the church but....
maybe there is a way that you can get married by the JOP 'secretly' & just hold off on submitting the marriage license & use the form for the Catholic ceremony? or maybe there is a way to get a duplicate form for a small fee & that way you are still filing the one from the JOP & you have the extra for the Catholic priest, but dont ever have to file that one with the state - just tell the priest you will mail it in yourselves (and then dont). We mailed our own license in to the state - so I dont see why you wouldnt be allowed to....
just some options to think about...HTH
Ang9483
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Re: married before the wedding
I got married in 2007 and we were supposed to have the ceremony and reception in 2008 but had to postpone it due to medical issues. In 08 I was going to get married in the church and they knew I was married and were fine with it. So I don't see why you wouldn't be able to. This time around I am just going to go to the RH for my ceremony.
ladycapricorn
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Re: married before the wedding
FH & I are doing this ...we are both Catholic & they will not marry you outside the church & they marry you on Saturdays, but we can't afford to get married at JT on a Saturday so we will be going to church with my MOH, his BM & my mom bro sis in law get legal married & then on Thurs we will get married again ,,,,only a family friend will be standing in to say some words as we exchange our own vows to each other, It was very important to me to marry in Church or else we would not be considered married in the eye of the church
leesah85
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Re: married before the wedding
I know specifically that my church wouldn't allow that. But I'm sure you could find one that would !
FutureMrsG
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Re: married before the wedding
Posted by ladycapricorn
FH & I are doing this ...we are both Catholic & they will not marry you outside the church & they marry you on Saturdays, but we can't afford to get married at JT on a Saturday so we will be going to church with my MOH, his BM & my mom bro sis in law get legal married & then on Thurs we will get married again ,,,,only a family friend will be standing in to say some words as we exchange our own vows to each other, It was very important to me to marry in Church or else we would not be considered married in the eye of the church
I was married in the catholic church on a Sunday. They will marry you.
Bride2011
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Re: married before the wedding
If you get married in a court first, then your church 'wedding' will be called a convalidation of marriage. If you google it you will get tons of info. Different churches have different views of how this ceremony looks. But it is my understanding that it can be whatever you want it to be. traditionally, because you are already married and living together the convalidation is a simple ceremony, but our church told us it can be as simple as a couple wants it or it can be exactly like a real church wedding ceremony, with a bridal party, dad walking you down the aisle, the bridal gown, and the vows. I would definitely be honest with your church, explain the circumstances, and your desire to have a 'real' wedding ceremony in the church. HTH Good luck!
