Married Ladies--Non-Gifters?

We had a few no shows, one of whom sent a generous check in a card the next day. But others did not and it kind of stinks that 'something came up' and we ate the cost.

One of my Bridesmaids didn't give me a gift or a card, but she did wrap up a little white bell and say it was a kissing bell. I didn't think it was the gift but then I didn't receive anything else, not even an empty card. I haven't spoken to her other than 1 text since the wedding because I feel as if I should say something but I don't want to make waves.

Oddly enough someone off this board who I invited when we were one under our minimum wrote us a generous check which was so unexpected because I was filling seats and really just invited them last minute to be guests. I thought about it and had intended not to cash it and then DH deposited it in the bank. I'll just make sure she gets some nice registry items when her time comes.

My close friend for over a decade didn't give us a gift. She claimed they forgot, and would send it after the wedding. Nothing ever came, not even a card, and even after I wrote her a TY card for coming (they were from OOT). I was really hurt, and it has affected our friendship (or I let it affect my friendship with her)- I haven't spoken to her in months....still hurt...when it was her time, I gave her a gift and a card. What kind of friend would do that to another? At least she could have given a card...oh well. I definitely learned a helluva lot about ppl during the wedding process

Here is the thing.

If you are going to write her off...I say do it with $350 in your pocket.

I say do what you were going to. 'I just want to make sure I didnt misplace ou card'.

Or 'in all the confusion of getting back to the hotel after the wedding we want to make sure we didnt leave anything behind'.

She was a rude Bee-atch for not giving you a gift.

I say call her on it.

But thats me :)

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Posted by Sarahgetsmarried

Here is the thing.

If you are going to write her off...I say do it with $350 in your pocket.

I say do what you were going to. 'I just want to make sure I didnt misplace ou card'.

Or 'in all the confusion of getting back to the hotel after the wedding we want to make sure we didnt leave anything behind'.

She was a rude Bee-atch for not giving you a gift.

I say call her on it.

But thats me :)

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Hhaha, already did....here is the exerpt...it was in an email with a bunch of other personal blahblah...

Anyway, finally back from the hm and we got around to going through our cards this week and i realized i dont have one from you, which seems very un-hername-like. It made me nervous that it got lost. Awkward to ask but i figured we are both grown ups, so just let me know whats up when you have a sec!

My 2 BMs and one of DH's GM didn't give us a gift AT the wedding but did send/give us gifts afterward. One person no showed but sent us something anyway. And we got a piece of paper telling us that a $100 US Savings bond was coming in 6 weeks

If she would call you on it, I would definitely call her on it though. Normally I'd let it go but it sounds like she needs a talking to. It was probably the dbag husband's idea not to give a gift.

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Posted by MrsList

If she would call you on it, I would definitely call her on it though. Normally I'd let it go but it sounds like she needs a talking to. It was probably the dbag husband's idea not to give a gift.

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OMG I SAID THIS TO SOMEONE!!!!!!!!! aahhahahahha

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Posted by KittyGags

So married ladies, how many non gifters did you have?

I had a FULL table of no shows--one of the old folks had a medical thing--so I had 5 couples that were no shows (all her kids + spouses) and 8 other non gifters for a grand total of 13.

Right now I still have 10 oustanding...and one of them in particular REALLY pisses me off because she got married a year and a half ago and I gave her a rather generous gift....so would you throw a casual 'hey wanted to make sure I didn't misplace your card' comment her way or would you give her the full year before you call her out?

For your reference this is someone I've known since about 9th grade and have been super close with...we've grown apart a little because she married a dbag and doesn't really have many close friends anymore because everyone hates her husband...

Also they are both employed and do well.

Please advise!?

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WOW just saw this and can relate to how you feel.
I also had a whole table of no shows and one especially hurt more then the rest. I have to work with all these girls, sadly. I said things to them but, it still hasnt made me feel any better. They had such lame excuses it is unbelieveable. On top of it 2 of them were invited without guests, asked if they could bring someone and I said yes and got screwed by them twice!!! They tell me that they would give me money if they could but they dont have it. UUUMMM I just dished out my money to have your a$$es there and you were palnning on coming and giving me a gift and now you dont have it?
Im sorry Im venting on your vent. But soo feel your pain.

I would say something, sorry but, its your feeelings and if you have to tell that person how you feel then do it.
I know I have one more person to tell off that I have known for 19 yrs, im so done with people.

That's just down right rude. I understand in economic times you can't give what you want but if she is a close friend she could write you a note saying - hey I am going to send you a gift. I did that for a friend and sent her gift a month later. People find money to travel and shop so giving a gift should not be hard. I had a total of 15 people not show. Four of them are good friends, you would think they would apologize for not making it, but NO! Let's hope the non gifter comes through.
Good Luck!

I am so worried about this no-show, no-gifter thing. I am very into etiquette and doing the right thing by ppl, I try to make sure I acknowledge ppl, remember bdays, give thoughtful gifts, ect.......
I once was unable to show up at a wedding, a cousin, long story but I was basically a no show -calling my aunt at the reception to say I had an emergency.....within A day or two I sent a very sincere an detailed apology w/ a card and a more generous gift than I would have given if I showed b/c I felt so bad. I just know I won't get over it If ppl are thoughtless and rude at this time.

I have been so surprised that the biggest obstacles in the planning are the ppl

Wow, sorry 10er crashing here but I just don't get how people can do this. I can see not having money and then letting you know but to just not even acknowledge it is ridiculous.

At my sister's wedding last year, her husband's best man didn't give a gift and that was after they paid for his flight to come from california and let him say with them for a week. He didn't even get them a card.