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Maybe I'm making a mistake....

esb980 Posted:

Maybe I'm making a mistake....

SIBride06 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Ummm...Do you want to talk about it???

Angel2006 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

wait a minute.... just relax, ppl have arguements all the time but don't be so drastic.... allow your self some time to cool off, then spek to FH and then make a decision. I know that if everytime FH and I have a fight and we go our separate ways before making up our weddding would have been called off atlteast 3 times by now.

psf80 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Posted by esb980

Sometimes I have such strong feelings of hate towards FH...... QUOTE]

To be honest, that's not good. Maybe the two of you should go to counseling together and see if you can work it out, and figure out where these feelings of hate are coming from.
wendyz06 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Posted by Angel2006

wait a minute.... just relax, ppl have arguements all the time but don't be so drastic.... allow your self some time to cool off, then spek to FH and then make a decision. I know that if everytime FH and I have a fight and we go our separate ways before making up our weddding would have been called off atlteast 3 times by now.


I agree. What kinds of things are you fighting about? Maybe its due to the stress of the wedding.
blueyes678 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Posted by esb980

Sometimes I have such strong feelings of hate towards FH...... we have a big fight at least every othe rweek..... we have so many unresolvable issues.... maybe I'll just call the whole thing off......


Awww, sweetie, do you want to talk???
esb980 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

esb980 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

cindyandkevin Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

You def need to talk to your FI about how you're feeling. See if he's feeling the same way, try to work things out and get some outside help if necessary too. Don't be so quick to throw in the towel, but it's easier resolve the issues now rather than after you're married.

Maybe you 2 should spend some time apart, see if being together is something that you both still really want. We're always here for you, but only the 2 of you will know what's best!!
stephanief Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Hate ?? That is a very strong word. I would definitely suggest talking things over with a professional BEFORE you get married. If he is not the right one for you, do not get married!!

Me and my FH fight sometimes but it is usually resolved shortly and I NEVER have feelings of hate towards him.....good luck

we are all here for you

LaurenluvsTJ Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

What do you fight about? What is a 'big' fight? Honestly you need to sit down and really sort these feelings out. Does your FH know what you are feeling?

stephanief Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Posted by esb980

It;s not wedding stress.... it's life stress... he's so freking irresponsible.... he doesn't seem to care about me like he used to... he goes out all the time.... we're broke....


Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel? Problems don't get resolved by themselves, they have to be worked out.
metmymatch Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Posted by esb980

It;s not wedding stress.... it's life stress... he's so freking irresponsible.... he doesn't seem to care about me like he used to... he goes out all the time.... we're broke....


maybe he's going through that 'omg, i'm getting married' freak out that some guys go through and is rebelling without even realizing it (fi did this to me a few weeks back when he came home announcing he was getting a motorcycle - um, hello, we have a wedding to pay for!)

anyhow, the two of you should really be talking about this (esp if it's a reoccuring theme). if the two of you talking about this always leads to fighting i would definitely recommend going to a third party (counselor, priest, rabbi).
steflily Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Posted by stephanief

Posted by esb980

It;s not wedding stress.... it's life stress... he's so freking irresponsible.... he doesn't seem to care about me like he used to... he goes out all the time.... we're broke....


Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel? Problems don't get resolved by themselves, they have to be worked out.


I agree. We are here for you.
EmberLynn Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Believe it or not we all have those moments! There are times I really truely feel so my anger towards my joe. We both have a lot things to resolve but they are resolving. Stress, money, work, families and life do take their toll, but if you see thats really all it is, then you'll be fine, however if its something more try to get help or call it quits.

Noiva06 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

Wow.... First I want to say I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Weddings do add stress especially when it comes to topics like money. Although we all may have our own issues with our FH's, I think hate is a really strong word, and if you honestly feel this way then you need to talk to your FH and even possibly seek counseling. I would put a halt to any wedding plans until you two discuss this fully as a couple. The fact is, that the life issues you are arguing about, do not go away after a wedding. It's issues that you must live with forever and that you two need to work through and discuss as couple. And you shouldn't work through them by yelling and screaming at eachother once every other week, because it's not healthy for a relationship. If you can't talk to each other instead of yelling, then how will your marriage survive? One day, one of you may slip and say some very hurtful things to one another. I don't want to upset you even more, I just think that this is something major that needs to be discussed between the two of you and even possibly, a counselor. Best of Luck...Much Love...
Beth1210 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

We needed some time to get adjusted in the beginning- my FH definitely had some'engagement axienty' - he acted out and bought a $8,000 quad - atv thing-

but after a few months things settled down and we are very happy together

Have you been engaged for a while? Did you just move in together? things can be stressful when you are making major life changes like this.

But like many of the other girls have said- Hate is a very strong word, and one I would never use in the same sentence with my FH...maybe you guys need to take sometime...it is a HUGE decision- think it thru- maybe take some time alone

I am sorry you are feeling this, it should be a happy time
mariela2006 Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

me and my fh went through big problems about 10 months ago. i mean we were going to break up and never look back we werent engaged at that time. I mean i hated him and his fam. and he felt the same about mine.
we went to talk to someone and it helped a lot. that he asked me to marry him a few months later.
go talk to someone a professional before you call it off.
GOOD LUCK!

kellwolfe Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

You def. need to take a deep breath calling it off is something very rash, you def. need to talk to him about whats going throught your head - and maybe you need to deal with one issue at a time -
sometime when you give men too much to process at once there heads will pop......so maybe it will take a few week - but thats ok this is the rest of your life your talking about going through a process with him is well worth it - you might decided a month from now that its not going to work and you want to call it off but you own it to your self to talk with him first - he might not relize who on the edge he is from loosing you......and if he know that his tune may change!

Make your self a list - decided what you can and cant life with

make sure that when your Talking and thats what it has to be you touch base on all those thing......good luck were all here for you
glinda_goodwitch Posted:

Re: Maybe I'm making a mistake....

I'm so sorry But if you guys have issues that seem impossible to resolve, then maybe you should try counseling. Sometimes a neutral third person can help you through things that you guys can't work through alone. Definitely try it, and good luck.

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